


The God and the Siren (Loki Odinson)

by XNYSX (xXNYSXx)



Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor: Tales of Asgard
Genre: Asgard, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Battle of New York (Marvel), Declarations Of Love, F/M, Infinity War, Love, Marvel Universe, New York, Post-Avengers Asgard, Post-Battle of New York (Marvel), Post-Secret Invasion (Marvel), Romance, Slow Burn, The Tesseract (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-09-05 13:44:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 81,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16811791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXNYSXx/pseuds/XNYSX
Summary: Months have passed since the Asgardians settled in NY. Loki's involvement with the invasion remains concealed from the public, and from Cerys--Pepper Pott's best friend. Naturally, she has no understanding of Loki's initial hostility toward her... Though perhaps that group vacation to Switzerland will help break the ice? Or drunken roommate weirdness? Or being discovered in the Asgardians' apartment in the middle of the night? Who knows... Life moves on, with or without his rude behavior. (undergoing a bit of reconstruction)





	1. Chapter 1

The world is different now, it has been since the invasion. New York is particularly changed, and it hasn't felt quite the same in years. I'm not sure it'll ever get back to the way it was, but that might not be a bad thing—we're moving forward. Learning every day to adapt to the new reality; we've never been alone out there.

It's been a tough pill to swallow.

Particularly since the Asgardians lost their home, and settled here a few months ago. Progress toward acceptance and solidarity toward them has been pushed and shoved in all sorts of directions. Some in immensely kind and positive ones, and others that've required S.H.I.E.L.D agents to be stationed around the buildings that the Asgardians are living in.

There are plenty of people who are averse to anything and anyone new and different, causing all sorts of trouble around town. I wish I could say it was a small minority of New Yorkers, but they've become a sizable group of terrorists, and everyone's afraid to walk alone these days—or voice their true opinions about our Asgardian guests.

Thankfully, the majority of my fellow city dwellers have been kind and accepting. And personally, I think that's a better thing to focus on in the daily news.

Apart from that, the world has gone on like it always has. The immediate world around me goes on in all its particular retail glory. I count my blessings that I get paid for my work with the Academy, otherwise I'd be stuck in a book store all days of the week, instead of just outside my rehearsal days. And like any other sleep deprived, haggard-yet-youthful human being trying to find their place in the world, I'm grateful for the surplus of opportunities—regardless of my lapsing into exhaustive mini-comas each and every night. 

It should be understandable, then, why I get upset with a certain boyfriend of mine for keeping me waiting after a long, arduous day...I've had to wait for Daniel to finish off at Stark tower before, but never this long. He's a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, and a damn good one from what Pepper's told me—apparently the ever famous Iron Man thinks so secretly, but he'll brush off the question if anyone asks, and Pepper's not allowed to formally comment on his behalf to her "BFFFLSIHTPUWHT." 

In other words, her " _best friend for fucking life so I have to put up with her too."_

It's been almost forty five minutes since my shift ended at Barnes & Noble, and I've been sitting alone in one of the small armchairs in the waiting area—awkwardly fiddling with my thumbs, and absently staring off into space. Apparently some high-profile security meeting has been going for several hours now, holding him up later than usual. I'm almost tempted to text him and let him know we can reschedule, but instead end up glancing at my phone every few minutes to see if there's any word from him.

I look around the elegant lobby—noting that Tony really did a number on designing this place. Every single surface is so damn shiny and glossy, it just gives the place a sense of enormity from the reflections alone. There's one reception desk at the front, and the elevators are just behind it. And once I'm done paging through some of the 5-year-old magazines that Tony insists on never updating on his coffee table, I lean back in the chair and start to doze off—letting my long, natural curls tumble over my chest and keep me just a tiny bit more warm.

I barely reach being half-asleep-and-drooling before I suddenly hear two elevator 'dings,' followed by a multitude of footsteps. I open my eyes and lean forward in the chair, uncrossing my legs as I peer hazily across the lobby.

I look back down and grab my half-drunk hazelnut latte off the table as I stand up, and stroll out of the waiting area. There, I see Tony and Pepper at the front of the group converging from the elevators.

Daniel's face eases out of the crowd. There are four other figures that stand out particularly among his entourage—three men and one woman. None are wearing suits, and the tall, muscular blonde man wearing a zip-up hoodie is particularly familiar. 

My eyes widen at the sight of Thor Odinson—Avenger. God of Thunder. Even hotter in person than in the picture. The man behind him has golden eyes and dreadlocks, and is wearing a black coat. Beside him is a sharp-looking woman with long black hair, dressed as half-casually as Pepper and I are...but the fourth man is hard to perceive, being surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D agents—Daniel among them. From here, I can only see a dour expression and dark hair slicked back behind his ears, reaching down to his shoulders in loose curls. I can vaguely make out a black suit, but I'm not entirely sure from here.

"Cerys!" Pepper greets me, turning my attention back to her as she walks over to give me a hug.

"Hey guys," I smile, and gesture to the entourage as Tony steps over to us. "Good to see you—what's going on today?"

"Nothing to be concerned about," says Tony, pointedly grabbing the coffee out of my hand and taking a sip. I arch a brow amusedly as he makes a face—the man doesn't like hazelnut. "Gross," he says, handing it back to me.

Pepper rolls her eyes and answers, "Yeah, we just had a meeting—security issues, mostly."

"I Heard," my eyes widen as I glance over her shoulder, seeing the two men and women heading toward us. "So, are those all... the _Asgardians?_ "

She nods, turning back toward them. "Yup."

I look over at Tony, hushing my voice as I eye the tallest among them. "The _big_ one's supposed to be Thor, right? _"_

"We're not close enough for me to know his specs _,_ " he shrugs sarcastically, and gestures toward him as he approaches. "But yes, this is Thor." He nods as the man approaches. "Thor, this is our good friend Cerys. Cerys, you've undoubtedly heard of Thor. God of Thunder." 

With a friendly smile, Thor turns his attention to me. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Lady Cerys. I'm Thor—this is Heimdall and the Lady Sif. Over there's my brother, Loki," Thor gestures to the entourage, and his brother's emerald eyes flicker up—as though he'd heard his name across the room. He meets my curious gaze once, and looks away.

I bob my head respectfully toward them. "Well I'm honored to meet you all."

"Likewise—how do you know Stark?" Thor steps back, crossing his arms behind his massive torso.

I offer a friendly grin. "He and Pepper came to a show of mine last year, they were our front-row guests."

"A show?" he asks. "Are you a performer of sorts?"

I tilt my head with a sideways shrug. "Of sorts. I sing and dance with Liberty Academy, we perform at the remembrance festival every year, and—"

Daniel pops out suddenly in the corner of my eye—flashing a big white smile to match his big, brown eyes. "Hey there—sorry to keep you waiting," he stalks over and kisses my cheek, and glances at the others hesitantly. "Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but can I actually talk to you for a sec?"

"Oh, uh—yeah, sure, I guess?"

I glance at Pepper and shrug, before sauntering off to the side with him. In the corner of my eye, I see that the other agents have fully dispersed, leaving only two at the Thor's brother's side. He's much larger than any of them, just like his brother and the other Asgardians. Tall and slender, but physically very large. Which I guess is fitting— these people are all supposed to be gods. He glances up at me with perfect timing, as though he knew I'd been looking in his direction, and I sweep my gaze away sharply—coming to a stop with Daniel next to the couches.

"So I wanted to text you this, but they actually asked me to work late," his brow furrows regretfully. "So, I can't actually hang out tonight..."

My shoulders slump. "Seriously?"

"I know." He runs his hands over my arms. "I know...but we're all pulling extra shifts right now. We're escorting the Asgardians home and then staying outside the building all night tonight."

"Why tonight?" I ask, glancing to my left—where Thor's brother is now approaching the others slowly.

"There were some threats, so they decided to assign some extra security."

I thin my lips and peer up at him annoyedly, considering his words for a moment. "Okay _,_ " I finally grumble angrily. "Find a damn minute to shoot me a text so I don't wait up for you next time. Make one if you have to."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that too," he nods at my side. "Damn meeting... it won't happen again though, I promise."

We stare at each other motionlessly for a moment, and an uncomfortable feeling flickers in my chest as he's the first to look away—this just isn't the sort of thing that my mother would want me to put up with from a man. But I guess it can't be helped when said man is a S.H.I.E.L.D agent—maybe the meeting really was just way too busy for him to have time to shoot me a text. The thought alone incited a glimmer of guilt at my own harshness.

We saunter back toward the others. "Admit it Tony," I sigh as we get close, gesturing over my shoulder. "You're sleeping with him, aren't you? That's why you keep giving him the night shift."

A blasé look of shock breaks out in his expression. "Excuse me, what kind of girl do you think I am?"

"The queen of drama, now let's go." Pepper tousles his hair, messing it up intentionally, and faces me. "By the way—we're having dinner here tomorrow night, you should come by. Maybe a little earlier, help me out with some of the cooking?"

"Sure, I'd love to!"

"You're invited too, Daniel," she looks at him, and gestures to the group. "Everyone's coming, so..."

"Tomorrow?" he asks. "Oh I can't make it tomorrow." I look over at him confusedly, and he glances down at me. "I'm going to Jersey to see my parents, it's my brother's birthday."

I widen my eyes slightly—poorly attempting to conceal my surprise at the news. I had no idea it was his brother's birthday, and I obviously didn't get an invitation to meet his family or anything.

Another thing mom probably wouldn't be happy to hear me complain about, after all these months.

"That's too bad." Pepper turns to me. "It'll be just us then—and all of you of course," she says to the Asgardians. "You guys are going to love what we're making. I don't know if you've ever had enchiladas, but you'll have _my_ enchiladas tomorrow."

"Oh, _God_..." My mouth waters at the thought—briefly distracting me from my moderately dysfunctional relationship. "Those poor other plans never stood a chance."

Thor nods politely. "Well I'm certain I don't know what that is, but it sounds exotic and delicious."

"It is, you'll see," I turn to him—seeing his brother's eyes darting between us. I face him slightly, holding a hand out. "I'm Cerys, by the way—nice to meet you."

His emerald eyes fall down to my hand for a moment, then flicker back up to meet mine. I could swear upon seeing a small movement ripple in the corner of his mouth, but it's not a smile, nor a frown—some illegible twitch, while he himself stares down at my hand. With his hands resting in the pockets of his black suit, he turns abruptly and leaves, heading toward the glass doors.

Embarrassment flushes through me as I lower my hand awkwardly, looking about the group—pausing over Thor's two companions. They peer intently at Loki for a moment, before exchanging glances and following after him in a brisk pace.

Thor sighs, and raises a hand to me. "I apologize—please don't take that personally. My brother's not in the best of moods tonight."

I grin warmly, masking the bitter aftertaste of that small interaction. "Oh it's alright, it happens."

"I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow," he bows slightly toward me. "And hearing more about your performance."

A full-on smile stretches across my face. "That's very sweet, thank you."

A hand suddenly appears gently on my shoulder, and I look up at Daniel. "It's getting kind of late—I'll walk you home if you want," he remarks with a subtle grin, trying to mask that telling expression—the twinge of jealousy in the corner of his eye.

Can't say I blame him entirely for it. S.H.I.E.L.D or no S.H.I.E.L.D, he's still just a guy. And he's been watching his girlfriend converse with a handsome Norse god for ten or so minutes. Perfectly normal response, I think...

Daniel knows I only live a few blocks down, and I wait as he announces to Tony that he'll be back soon. Meanwhile, I say my goodbyes before letting him nudge me toward the door, where the wall of cold night air hits me once again. On the way out, I nod to Heimdall and Lady Sif once we're outside, though my grin douses a bit as I peer up at Loki—connecting with his sullen, green eyes for a moment before looking away. Rather demonstrably, at that—god or not, even in my worst moods, I'm never willfully rude. And not particularly upset over a stranger's lack of courtesy, but I'm not obliged to respond kindly—and he's not obliged to associate with me at all.


	2. Chapter 2

"You didn't seem too happy with Daniel yesterday," Pepper remarks while cutting up some vegetables across the counter.

" _Nooo_ , I was not," I shake my head, swaying my hand back and forth as the half-drunk wine swishes around its glass. "I don't know if it's going to work out between us if he keeps this up. He can be kind of a dick when he's not trying to be all mushy."

I sniff the air a bit, smelling the delicious aroma of Pepper's enchiladas in the oven. They've been in there for about forty-five minutes or so, and the smell has finally begun to permeate the vast penthouse. The prospect of food alone is enough to make me happy, but that, combined with Pepper's playlist blaring music from the television, makes for an obscenely relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere.

"Wait—sorry," I mumble, throwing a leg up easily onto the tall bar stool beside me. "I think I was supposed to help you, or something?"

"Don't worry about it." She waves a hand. "Just make sure you leave some wine for when the boys get here."

"Speaking of the boys..." I roll my eyes down absently to my extended leg—clad in the single pant of a thick pair of high-waisted leggings. Matched by a red, long-sleeved crop top that hugs my curves. Plain and simple. "I think they're probably going to be a lot more fascinated by the dwindling beer stock."

Amusement streaks across Pepper's expression. "Thor's brother likes that wine you're drinking."

I arch a brow, setting the glass down as I look toward her bemusedly. "The rude one likes the wine?" The one that embarrassed me in front of everyone? By treating me like I was some sickly thing reaching out to shake his hand?

She nods. "Yup, the very same."

"Well then," I tilt my head demonstrably as I reach for the wine bottle—lifting it slowly into the air. "Oh, _no_ ," I muse sarcastically, letting the wine pour into the glass. " _We're running out._ "

Pepper snorts, and turns to the cupboards behind her. The doors creak slightly as she opens them and takes out a pile of plates, spinning to set them down in front of me.

"Be a doll," she says, bending back toward the oven to check on the enchiladas.

"With pleasure," I say, leering at the music remote as I stand from the bar stool. "But first..."

I take the remote and point it to the large, flat screen TV by the fireplace, maneuvering through the songs. I cock my head back toward Pepper for confirmation, still pointing it at the screen. "You don't mind, do you?"

I wait for a moment as she sets the enchiladas down on top of the stove, and glances at the TV. False-offense spreads over her expression, and she lifts a hand to her chest. "You have to ask?"

I smile, hitting the play button, followed by the volume key—until the music is sufficiently loud enough to dance to wildly. 'Lonely Boy' blares throughout the penthouse, bouncing off the glass windows. I replace the remote with plates in my hands, and dance my way over to the table, setting them down one by one with a little bump in my step. My curls fly easily around the place, and I glance over at Pepper—seeing her hair also fluttering about her shoulders as she bobs around the kitchen to the beat.

What a great goddamn night. And notably deafening, since I don't hear the click of the elevator doors behind me.

With a final spin and hum to the tune, I stop abruptly at the far end of the table—nearest to the kitchen—facing the sight of five figures emerging from the elevator. Tony, Thor, Heimdall, Loki and Sif. Amidst the friendly faces, my eyes fall on the dour expression stretched across Loki's regal features. In the quick instant that he glances in my direction, tension flutters through his jaw—followed by a quick, studying rake over my face, and an expression of restraint when he finally looks away.

I roll my eyes before turning briskly, and head back over to the counter to grab the remote. The volume lowers quickly, and I set it back down.

"You guys are late." I tease them friendlily, purging the unpleasant atmosphere in my own head.

Because, honestly, I've heard of bad first impressions, and bad second impressions are a red flag. Though that doesn't mean it needs to be my problem. Regardless of the subtle feeling in my gut, telling me that one among us here has a seriously problem—either with me, or with general human interaction and sociability. It may or may not be true, but hell, why do I always end up being the one to 'let shit go' for the sake of a smooth-going night?

Tony shakes his head as he draws near, whipping a finger in the air. "A queen is never late."

I arch a brow at him, propping my hands up against my hips. "What's with all these lady-jokes lately? You on the verge of _major_ self-discovery?"

"Your face is a major self-discovery," he retorts casually as he walks by.

I snort, and turn to smile at the rest of our guests. "Well, we're glad you're here."

"We're very glad to be here," says Thor with a grin, coming up to give me a friendly hug—as though re-greeting a prospective friend.

"Aw _shit_ , you're a hugger!" I laugh, rising up to the balls of my feet to meet him.

"That I am," he chuckles as he pulls away.

"Well that's completely acceptable, because so am I." I smile big and wide, turning to Sif and Heimdall next.

"Always good to have a warm personality in the room," Heimdall grins as he returns the hug—albeit a bit less enthusiastically.

Without the benefit of any additional hugging, everyone takes their seats, while a cold wisp of air brushes against my side. My grin falters a little as Loki saunters past me, heading straight to the chair on the far end of the table.

Best to sit as far away from him as I can, I suppose.

I look over to my left, seeing my trench coat laying over the back of one of the black chairs in the living room. I walk over to it briskly, picking it up and throwing it over the chair on the far opposite side of the table—claiming it as my own. Thankfully, the mood lightens immensely after helping Pepper set the table and serve the food, while the conversation between us all turns sparkly and alive—save for Loki, who has yet to utter a word from his dismal corner of the table.

We talk briefly about daily affairs—my job at Barnes and Noble included, as one of the more comical topics of retail life. Being summoned to recall books that a particular customer read thirty years ago—with no recollection of the title or even character names—is always an amusing conflict to resolve. After which, the conversation shifts toward memories of Asgard, and its affairs from once upon a time...at that point, it's just been one question popping up after another, especially in my own head. Alien world, and all.

"I must say, Cerys," remarks Lady Sif. "You ask good questions."

"Because someone's finally asking ones you have answers to?" Thor jests from across the table, while Loki remains motionless to his right—unamused eyes darting from person to person as he takes the occasional bite of his food.

"But I have a question for _you_ , now." Thor turns, addressing me. "I've yet to hear more about this performance you mentioned last night."

I look up at him, seeing Loki stiffen visibly in the corner of my eye... Only adding to the list of weird behaviors, and further cementing himself on my 'don't fuck with the serial-killer-brother unless 911 is on speed dial' list.

"Yes, that!" I beam at Thor, leaning back relaxedly in my chair, with my hands intertwined across my stomach—prepping for story time. "Well they call it the 'Festival of Days.' It's to commemorate the people who lost their lives in that invasion three years ago—that _you_ saved us from," I add earnestly. A glimmer of awkwardness flickers across his features—naturally, because he was part of that fight. Loki also casts his eyes down to his food. "Except, they're doing it in a positive way. So, no tears. The Academy organizes a performance with the city every year, we combine different styles of music, dancing, languages..."

"And you'll be performing?"

"That I will," I lift my wine glass in my best attempt at an elegant toasting gesture.

Pepper bobs her head toward me, and looks over at him across the table. "Not just that—they're featuring her this year. It's the publicity event we told you about last week."

I blink at her. "Publicity event?" I ask, looking around at them. "Wait—you guys are coming?"

She looks back at me and nods. "Didn't James tell you?"

James. My sleazy director. I pause for a moment, and she watches me intently. Then the memory floods back...

"I mean... I've heard him mention guests, I guess they sounded foreign. Was he talking about all of you?" I gesture to the table.

"Yup. Front row seats," says Tony, sitting at Pepper's right. "Where we'll get a full view of every single one of your mistakes."

I look over Pepper—who arches a brow and rolls her eyes back over to me. With the glass in my right hand, I point at him. "You're dating that guy, Pep."

She shrugs. "Can't stop, won't stop," she drones. "Really though, how're you feeling about it? We heard it's going to be a big crowd."

"Yeah," I nod. "I heard that too. This is the first year that we've sold out fully for the spots closest to the stage—people are going to see and hear us down the streets, though. They're closing several of them down near Central Park."

Her eyes widen. "Oh, wow. That must be pretty intimidating."

I shrug, and gesture amusedly to the Asgardians. "Well I don't exactly know how to react to _gods_ being in the front row."

Thor furrows a brow, and shakes his head. "No, no, don't think that way of us—we're just as plain as any other guest attending the event. Plainer still, most of us have hardly learned what's what in this realm."

"I'll have _you_ know," Sif chimes in sarcastically. "That I learned how to start a dishwasher this morning."

"Then take one less marginally clueless mind from the list of many," Thor grins, and looks back at me. "What we all are though, is glad for the opportunity to experience more of this world—and to be acquainted with you, dear friend."

" _Speak for yourself."_

All heads turn toward Loki—watching silently as he pats his mouth with a tissue, and rises slowly from his chair. I glare at his bored expression, as though he hadn't just surprised us with an implicitly insulting remark, and he looks over at Pepper. "The food was delicious. Thank you."

With little regard to his demeanor, Pepper and Tony continue on taking awkward bites of their food—while the Asgardians tacitly glance amongst themselves. Loki heads toward the chairs in the living room, and the growing dislike in my chest shifts to outright repugnance.

" _That's right,_ " I say—addressing him pointedly, not even sure of what I was hoping to accomplish. I just knew I wanted to say something. "Pepper worked very hard on it."

He stops, and I straighten up as he levels a flat stare at me—briefly, and with only the slightest hint of thoughtfulness—before plopping down onto one of the chairs and crossing his legs, pulling a book out from who knows where.

The conversation slowly continues again, with hushed murmurs turning into normal speech at the other end of the table.

Meanwhile, I turn and lean over to Pepper. " _What's his problem_?" I murmur quietly, glancing in the direction of the couches—in time to see suspicion and apprehension brim and dissipate from the corners of Loki's eyes.

"Just ignore it," she murmurs, and I nod agreeably. This can't worth the trouble.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the night continues splendidly—the conversation, the food, and even the continued music lends itself to a bright, cheerful evening in good company. It may only have been better if I had a tad less wine and a little more water—I should know by now that my stomach never appreciates tonight's ratio of the two. I can feel the nausea settling in little by little as the hours go by.

"You okay, hon?" Pepper asks, noting my perturbed expression across the table.

"I will be." I nod, hooking my jacket on my finger as I stand from the chair. "I'm just going to go outside and breathe for a bit—feeling a little nauseous..."

"Here," she slides a glass of water over to me. "Take this with you, okay?"

" _Cheers_ ," I drone sarcastically, taking the glass before turning and walking around the table.

My stride across the living room leads past the chair that Loki's settled into, in a draped fashion, and the coldness is palpable as I step past him. My own face must say it all—' _fuck off.'_ I'm beyond the point of caring. My stomach isn't having a fun time anymore and neither am I. All I care about is the refreshing wall of cold air that plumes over me across the balcony door, where the sights and sounds of glinting lights and honking cars greet me with a cool welcome.

I let it drain the tension from my body, teaming up with my efforts not to think about doubling over the glass railing. Falling puke from this high up would either evaporate, or kill someone. Definite question of death in this situation, and I can't be certain of either in this moment. Therefore, slow and steady breaths are the answer— _one, two..._

 _One, two_.....

"Pardon me," says a voice behind me.

I jump, nearly dropping the water as it clicks against the glass railing. I grip it tightly as I pivot toward the sound—toward Loki, who must have strode out here soundlessly, with hands crossed politely behind his back.

" _Oh_ ," I sigh, calming my startled breaths. "It's you..." I turn back to the railing. " _What's up_?"

"The... sky," he remarks tonelessly.

My brows shoot up as I stare ahead flatly for a moment, and then roll my eyes back toward him. And in that moment, I couldn't tell which of us looked more absurdly serious—for no fucking reason.

"I came out here to apologize for my behavior."

I arch a brow, snorting at the sharp contrast between the sentiment, and his borderline-constipated facial expression. "Excuse me?"

"I've just apologized."

I crinkle my nose discontentedly at his tone, barely feeling any impulse to honor it with a verbal response. Being rude to someone you don't know is one thing, this dynamic is...something else. It's just weird, and I think an explanation would do more than an apology.

I thin my lips tightly and straighten up from the railing. "Fine," I say, sipping the glass as I continue staring forward. "Apology accepted. Even though I keep getting the feeling that you've got some sort of problem with me."

"No problem at all," he states matter-of-factly, holding my gaze coolly.

I narrow my eyes at him, and answer tightly. "Okay, good."

Silence hardens around us as I look away, into the wind blowing back strands of my curls.

"I hope you're feeling better." I hear him again, and turn my head back toward him slowly—still standing in the same spot.

"I am," I pause suspiciously. "Thanks?"

Loki parts his lips to speak again, but pauses the sound of the door being opened behind him. I can see his brother holding it halfway, and he glances between us momentarily. "Brother," Thor says. "We're leaving now."

Thor stares for a moment, and then turns back awkwardly when no one answers him—unsurprising for the pair of us hacking the tension out here with a knife. Loki, who has yet to speak or look away from me, now bobs his head in a farewell gesture. After, he turns and stalks sharply back across the balcony without another word. I follow shortly after, clearly having reached the point in the night to offer up goodbyes, even though I'll be spending the night here. Once inside, a multitude of hugs ensues, and the usual parting pleasantries.

"Thank you so much for coming," I breathe out over Sif's shoulder as I give her a hug near the elevator.

"The pleasure was ours, entirely," she says, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

Thor and Heimdall welcome me warmly as I give them both hugs—and finally turn to Loki. And it takes an active effort not to let my smile falter instantly with indecision. His hands are back in his suit pockets, and he looks back at me with a neutral expression.

 _Too early for hugs_ _?_ Neither of us seem to know what to do for a moment, and the question plays tug of war in my head for several seconds before I act. On the one hand, he's dished out more rudeness to me collectively as a person these past twenty-four hours, than I've ever gotten in the entirety of my life.

On the other, I was taught to kill with kindness.

I step toward him briskly, lifting myself up onto my toes to match his massive stature in a half-hug. "It was nice seeing you, too— _a little_ ," I add playfully, blowing some loose strands of black hair back over his shoulder.

Save for a slightly arched brow, he seems unaffected when I pull back—if not slightly disgruntled by the sudden affection. Like a psychopath. And without the courtesy of a grin, or even eye contact, he turns to match the direction of his company. An awkward silence permeates the air for a moment after the door closes behind them, and then there were three....

One particularly drowsy one—still recovering from the surplus of wine and strange company.


	4. Chapter 4

Saturdays are undoubtedly my favorite day of the week. This morning, Pepper and I cleaned up a bit after the night before, and set out to the city to do a little bit of shopping. And, always, the sounds of bustling people and honking cars overwhelmed the senses as the hours flew by—by midday, I was decidedly tired. And after about an hour of going in and out of boutiques, we finally settle at a small cafe just around the corner from Stark tower.

"God, I really hope it won't rain on the festival," I say, peering up into the cloudy sky.

"Why'd you guys decide to have it in the middle of November?" Pepper furrows a brow, sipping her coffee.

I shrug. "Who knows. _James_ was the one in charge of planning it this year," I say his name with a pointed bitterness.

Pepper frowns, lowering the coffee down a bit as she peers over at me solemnly. "Has he... _tried_ anything?"

"No," I shake my head. "Not since the one time. He's been careful since Daniel and I started dating." Heaviness sinks in my chest a bit as I think back to it—the almost-sexual-assault. I haven't spent a late night in the studio since.

"I can't believe they made you work with him after everything that happened," she says, casting her eyes down frustratedly.

"Well it's not like they believed me, and _then_ paired us anyway," I say. "That's how it goes though, isn't it?"

"It shouldn't," she says emphatically. "They at least should've given you the courtesy of _not_ pairing you two in the same year."

"We're both good at what we do, make them a lot of money together that way. It's all they care about—but it's fine," I lower my gaze. "I can take care of myself. I try not to leave the studio last, for one thing—some of the girls believe me too, they stick around to leave with me when I do."

"You know you can call me too, right?" Pepper nods. "If you ever feel unsafe."

"Thanks, Pep. I know that." I grin. "Maybe we can have Tony show up once or twice in his suit—scare the crap out of James."

She nods with a satisfied smile. "See, you're joking, but I can run it by him later." Realization suddenly flashes across her expression. "Oh, _later_ —that reminds me," she says, turning in her chair to grab her purse. "Let's pop by the market for a sec, Tony asked me to pick up some stuff and bring it to Thor."

I arch a brow, lowering my cup to the table. "They can't do grocery shopping by themselves?"

Pepper rolls her eyes and groans. "They can, but they don't like going out on the weekends when there are tons of people around. Until the mess with the terrorists is dealt with entirely, they don't like to draw unnecessary attention out in public."

"Uhhh, Pep?" My voice drops solemnly as I rise from the chair with, purse hanging over my shoulder. "Aren't they coming to the festival?"

"Yeah, but you don't need to worry about that—Tony says the city's planned a lot of security for that day."

A nervous knot forms in my stomach at the idea. "Sure..." I mumble.

"Would it make you feel better if I had Tony wear the suit?" she grins, looking over at me as we leave the table with our coffees in hand.

"Why, so I can have two thin, glowing slits-for-eyes staring me down in the front row?" I say, thinking of Loki's perpetually dour face. "That's fine—I'm sure Tony wouldn't go to begin with, if he was worried about safety. He wouldn't let you go, either."

"That's true," she nods.

We turn the corner and walk a couple blocks down to the nearest plaza with a grocery outlet, where we start scanning the outer edges of the store for healthy options and whole foods. My eyes widen as I watch Pepper drop yet another bagful of tomatoes into the half-full cart. 

"Are they even paying for this themselves, or is it Tony?" I ask.

"It's Tony for now," she nods. "This is nothing, though. You should see the loft they're staying in—it's massive, and you can see the tower from it."

I pause for a moment, imagining the type of loft that Tony can afford. "Shit, I've gotta start being nicer to him.. _._ " I murmur.

Suddenly the wine isle catches my attention in the far corner, across the fresh foods section. I peer at it for a moment, feeling the coldness from the refrigerated vegetables nipping at my nose. "Think we should get some wine?" I turn to Pepper, as she plops a couple of sweet potatoes into a plastic bag.

"Wine?" she asks, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Yeah," I say. "For Thor's brother, I guess. It'd be a nice gesture, right?"

Her movement ceases. "Since when are you eager to be nice to _him_?" she leans against the cart and faces me.

"Well he apologized to me last night—out on the balcony, remember? I don't know, maybe it'd be nice as a last-ditch effort to be friendly."

Pepper raises a brow thoughtfully and tilts her head. "I don't know. I've been seeing him a lot these past couple of months, and he hasn't ever really been the 'friendly' type," she gestures to the isle. "But you can try, if you want."

I purse my lips thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding my head decidedly. "What can it hurt to try, I guess? We can just put it in there with the rest of groceries and make it look like we thought of him too."

"I'm sorry, ' _we?_ '" she says, smiling amusedly. "No, no—he might try to talk to me if he thinks I had any involvement in it. You're on your own with this one."

I roll my eyes. "Wow, didn't think I'd ever fly solo with you around."

"Shut it, I'd kill for you—that's a favor you can call in any time," she nods, patting my arm. "But dealing with Loki? I'll just wish you some hearty good luck on that one and call it a day."

I roll my eyes. "Fine," I mumble, and turn to head toward the isle.

Once there, I start scanning the many rows of dark and light bottles towering on either side of me. Now standing closer to the beer section as well, I wrap my arms around me—over my coat—to keep warm as I turn to-and-fro, looking at the options.

 _Louis Jadot, Pinot Grigio, Chateau St. Jean..._ Damn, all these different types and brands to choose from, some more costly than others. I'm not prepared to spend a pretty penny—nor do I want to 'invest' my friendship with a four buck chuck—so I go for something in the middle. Beaujolais by Louis Jadot, at $15.99.

As far as red wines go, this one's always been my favorite. Not too dark, not too light... Let's hope I'm not the only one who likes it.


	5. Chapter 5

At the end of a long, white hallway, I wait beside Pepper as she knocks on the door. It's almost completely silent in the building, even on the other side of all the doors. I sway in place for a moment, glancing to my right—out a window. Straight into another apartment building, which is actually only a few buildings down from my own.

"I didn't realize they lived so close," I mumble to Pepper. And just as she turns her head to respond, the door opens.

"Hey there!" says Thor. "Welcome—please come in!"

"Hey Thor," I smile at him as I pass over the threshold. Once inside, I'm utterly silenced by the enormity of their place—it's bigger than Tony and Pepper's penthouse. Massive alcoves under the white windows, a giant living area with big, red couches surrounding a fireplace, and a kitchen area just to the right of the door—with a dining area in the middle of it all.

" _Holy crap,_ " I murmur as I look around, and my eyes land on Loki perched on one of the alcoves—dressed casually in jeans and his brother's zip-up jacket—with a book in his hands.

Just as he looks up and meets my eyes, Thor steps up beside me. "Is something the matter?" he asks.

I look toward him sharply, and shake my head. "Oh, no, no—I just..." I pause, glancing around the loft once more. "I've _really_ got to start being nicer to Tony."

"Here, let me help you with that," he says, reaching for the grocery bags in my hands.

"Oh, thank you," I say, lifting them up as I follow him into the kitchen—where Heimdall and Sif are sitting atop some bar stools, and listening to Pepper explain a few unfamiliar foods to them.

 _"And remember, you're going to want to keep this in the bottom drawer with the rest of the vegetables..."_ I hear her say.

As I look down at the contents of the first two bags strewn about the blue marble counter, I only now begin to realize how much we'd actually bought, and can't help but wonder whether they'll be able to eat it all in time—considering there're two more bags waiting on the floor beside the counter. 

I blink—remembering the wine I'd bought for Loki. I'd put it in the same bag as the rest of the 'particulars,' filled with individual orders, and wait until Pepper starts dispersing them to reach for it. Pop-tarts for Thor, earl grey tea for Heimdall, fresh pastries for Sif... And wine for Loki. I take it lastly out of the bag, holding it in my hands for a moment as I look through the space between Heimdall and Sif—at Loki, still sitting atop a pile of pillows with his ankles crossed over in front of him.

Once Pepper gets on the topic of how processed foods are the devil's spawn, I take the wine and step out around the kitchen island, heading toward the god in the alcove. The closer I get, the more I can see the slightest frown on his face, and he doesn't look up at me until the last moment.

"Heard you like wine," I say, holding the bottle out to him with my left hand.

Loki's gaze drops down to the bottle, and his face remains blank for a moment—until slight confusion flickers across his brow. A twinge of embarrassment tightens in my chest as I look down at his averse expression.

"I know nothing of Midgardian wine."

I shrug. "Well, you might've learned something last time if we hadn't drank so much it without you."

"Yes," he mumbles quietly, and rolls his eyes back down to his book. "Quite a robust feat."

I narrow my eyes sternly. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't intended as such."

"I'll take it anyway." I lower my voice further with a friendly bit of assertion.

Loki looks up at me with an arched brow. "Robust indeed," he murmurs.

I grin approvingly as I raise the wine up in front of me demonstrably, and turn to set it down on the coffee table a few feet away. "I'll just leave this here for you," I say, and head back to the kitchen without looking at him again.

Across the room, I see Pepper lifting my phone up into the air. "Cerys, your phone's ringing," she glances at the screen, "It's Daniel."

I groan inwardly, and sigh outwardly as I approach the island, taking the phone from her hand. I look down at his name on the screen for a moment, wondering whether now is even the time to reminisce on our dysfunctional relationship.

No—of course not. Not with all these people around. 

I hit the 'answer' button and raise the phone to my ear, wandering along the edge of the living room—staring absently down a hallway with bedrooms at the end.

"Hey Daniel," I say quietly.

" _Hey there,"_ he says emphatically, while I trail my eyes back across the room—seeing a flash of movement in the corner of Loki's eye as he glances to the side—toward me. " _I was wondering whether you wanted to come spend the night tonight?"_

"No, not tonight," I say, shaking my head. "I've got to be up early tomorrow for rehearsal."

" _What about tomorrow night?"_

"Same thing—I took the whole week off from work to rehearse, since the show's next Saturday."

" _Gotcha..."_ He pauses. " _Well, will I see you at all this week?"_

A sullen grin tugs on the corner of my mouth, instigated by his pointed interest in seeing me. "Maybe," I croon coolly. "If you ask nicely."

" _Was that not nice?"_

"Sometimes _you're_ not very nice to me," I mumble playfully.

Daniel chuckles lowly on the other end of the line. _"If_ _I was nice all the time, you'd get bored with me like everybody else."_

I crease my brows together. "What is this, high school? I am a grown ass woman, thank you very much."

A light mirthfulness trickles back into his voice. " _Well alright 'grown ass woman,' how about we go do some 'grown ass people' things together on Thursday night, and pre-celebrate your show?"_

I pause—feigning consideration of the offer. "Well, that sounds pretty good." 

" _Alright then,"_ he responds. " _I can pick you up after your rehearsal—seven o'clock okay?"_

"Sure," I nod. "But I can't be out late, I've got dress rehearsal the next morning."

" _Don't worry..."_ He pauses wryly. " _I'll have you 'in bed' by ten_."

"Oh, my _God_..." That earns him a pretty loud scoff, and a chuckle or two. I roll my eyes as I raise a hand to cover my slightly flushed cheeks. "Okay—this conversation's done," I say, glancing back at the others in the kitchen, and Loki nearby. "I'm with Pepper, so we'll talk later."

" _Yeah, yeah—we'll 'talk' later,"_ he says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

I shake my head amusedly. "Okay, I'm hanging up now."

As I lower the phone down to the end the call, a faint warmth spreads through my chest at the thought that there's some reconciliation here. Maybe things aren't all that bad between us, after all. Then again, flirting is always easy and fun—relationships themselves take work.

As I saunter back to the kitchen island, I set the phone down on the counter and plop down on one of the empty bar stools. "You ready to head out?" Pepper asks, nodding toward the door. "I've still got a couple of errands I need to run."

"Oh, sure." I nod, looking around for my purse. "Let me just find my purse—did I leave it on the other side, there?"

Pepper looks down, while Thor—still standing on the far end of the counter—looks about the ground as well. "Is this what you're looking for?" he asks, bending over and holding up my little black hand purse.

"Yes!" I grin, standing up from the chair to walk over and grab it. "Thank you so much."

"Of course!" he says earnestly. "Those are quite handy things to have, I must say."

"Purses? Yeah, they really are." I nod.

"And thank you so much for bringing us all this food," he adds. "It must be an inconvenience, and we greatly appreciate it."

I shake my head. "Not an inconvenience at all. In fact—here," I say, pulling out a spare receipt from the depths of my purse—along with a pen—to write down my cell phone number. "If any of you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

The three of them smile as I set the paper down, and Sif reaches for it. "Thank you," she says. "It's really very much appreciated."

"Of course," I nod, and look back at Pepper. "You ready to go?"

"Yup," she grins, and turns to head toward the door.

"We'll see you all later—next weekend, even!" I say as I step back—away from the counter—as Thor comes around it to open the door for us.

"That you will, my Lady," Heimdall nods his head.

I smile, catching one last glimpse of Loki's blank expression. Without moving at all, his light, green eyes dart up to meet mine one last time, before the door shuts on them.


	6. Chapter 6

I never imagined this week would be so arduous... So much so, that I end up being the one to cancel on Daniel this time. He wasn't excessively upset by it—which might strike me as suspicious under different circumstances, if I wasn't so damn tired all the time. I'd even gotten to a point where I had no idea how I'd manage to have energy for the show today.

At least, that's what I thought. Now I'm here, on the second level of a building cleared for performers, and the nervous energy is raging. I've been sitting in a small chair and peering at my reflection in the large, round mirror for some time, while hair and makeup people were set loose on me. With each increasing ounce of makeup being smeared on my face, I've been getting more and more excited.

The overall energy in the room only adds to that, what with people running around behind me, warming up in their respective corners, and chattering in the back. Just out the window, the sky is blanketed by clouds, but no rain—which is a stroke of financial luck, since setting up covers for the festival would have been an expensive nightmare. How and why James managed to get this thing scheduled for the middle of November, I'll never know.

"Hey everybody!" My liveliness drains slightly when I hear his voice, and turn in my chair to see him walk into the room with his assistant, Merila. "I'm about to head out and go check on the setup. In case I don't get back here by the time it starts, I just wanted to say that I'm honored to have worked with you all this year, and I'm rooting for each and every one of you—I know you're all going to knock it right out of the park!" he pauses for effect. "Literally!"

If I had the will and energy, I'd set myself apart from the sparse laughter by rolling my eyes. From where the stage is, I'll be able to see the festival extend well into Central Park. It's a couple of streets down from where we are, and really, James looks like he's had enough of running around that space. His light brown hair is stuck to his forehead, and his face is glimmering slightly in the cloudy, ambient lighting—like he's been physically running for quite some time.

I watch for a moment as people step up to shake his hand, while others give him a hug. Bitter nervousness shudder down my spine as he turns to me with his bright blue eyes, and stalks toward me across the room. Reinforced by years of retail practice, I put on my best smile and customer service voice for everyone else—I'm a professional, and I'll act like it today.

"Cerys," he nods as he approaches. "Feeling good?"

I glance at some of our colleagues looking between us. "Yup, feeling good." I nod. "And ready."

"Glad to hear it," he says, seemingly oblivious to my falsehood, and turns slightly to gesture toward the hallway he came out of. "I just passed through the lobby, there're some friends of yours downstairs that came to wish you luck."

My brows shoot up in surprise. I really only have two entourages in the city, and one of them is scattered throughout this room. "Am I allowed to go down there in this?" I ask, glancing down at my assigned costume for the first performance—a golden, elegant head-to-toe suit of delicate, gleaming tresses and jewels.

Perfect for the theme of the very first song, which will involve very few lyrics. A few words here and there in Italian, and an otherwise fun mix of instrument and pop music. Perfect for dancing to, and our suits are designed for it.

James nods. "Yeah, I don't mind. Just don't go outside, there'll be cameras everywhere."

"Got it," I say, lifting myself off the chair.

The chains hardly rattle against the soft, thick fabric as I make my way down to the first floor. Around the corner of the staircase, I see them—Pepper, Tony, Sif, Heimdall, Thor, and Loki. Theirs are the familiar faces at least, amidst the two other men standing off to the left of the group—near Pepper and Tony, making idle conversation with what I call 'retail smiles.'

The air is cooler against my face down here, though it's only slightly less busy here than it is upstairs. Outside the windows, I can already make out small packs of people forming along the edges of the streets, ready to explore the festival. I stride toward my friends, a smile growing steadily on my face.

Loki is the first to notice my approach, slicing his gaze in my direction, and he scrapes down the length of me before meeting my eyes. With a quiet signal to the others to look, he shifts away for Pepper to turn and step toward me first—arms open wide.

"There she is!" she says, wrapping them around me for a moment, before stepping back with a grin. "And you look stunning!"

"Thank you! And thank you all so much for coming—seems like you're all in a good mood." I trail across the group toward Pepper, and Tony beside her. "We're almost good to go up there too—I just got out of makeup. I figured Daniel would be here, too?"

"Oh," says Pepper, turning and gesturing to the glass doors. "He just went outside to take a call, I think he's still out there."

I look over and out through the glass—seeing Daniel leaning on one of the pillars outside, facing the busy street.

"I see him," I say, glancing back at Pepper as I step back to head around to the door. "I don't have a lot of time down here—give me two seconds to get him, I'll be right back!" 

The cold air hits my face immediately as I push open the glass door, and the usual sounds of cars and police sirens in the distance are replaced by the sound of bustling people and music. I smile as I look around, catching a couple of glances made in my direction as I step over the threshold, and turn to the side—where Daniel is still leaning against the pillar, wearing a grey jacket with his jeans, and facing away from me.

I approach him from behind, ready to tap his shoulder, and stop when I suddenly catch an unsettling sentiment somewhere in the conversation. I furrow my brow, lowering my hand as I come up behind him slowly—quietly—instead.

"Yeah babe, they've got us setting up a perimeter all the way through to Central Park—barely would've been able to hang out anyway," he nods. "But I'll just tell my friends that I'm working tonight, and head over after the festival."

_'Babe.'_

An uncomfortable tightness coils in my abdomen, and I feel my pulse rising angrily.

"Yeah that sounds great, it—yeah I don't know how busy it'll be, but we can definitely try," he says.

I swallow hard, glancing back through the glass to my right—seeing Pepper's disconcerted expression at my sunken face. She steps over slightly and mumbles something, catching the others' expressions as they turn toward me too, eyeing me worriedly. Loki turns last of all, sweeping his eyes over to me out of sheer curiosity.

"I mean, I can try to swing by earlier, but I've got to wait for the show," he pauses. "Yeah, yeah—I promised a friend I'd be around for it, can't let em down."

' _Friend'_ —as soon as I hear the word, I drop my eyes down the ground, trying to subdue the pain tightening in my chest. I've heard enough. 

I turn sharply and stride away from him, not bothering to hide the sound of my heels against the asphalt, though I doubt he'll hear them over the noise. Keep a solid, frozen expression on my face, I head back through the doors, feeling an uncontrollable wetness tinging my eyes as I stalk by the group.

"Cerys?" I hear Pepper call out for me, but I keep walking, raising the back of my hand up to my face to catch any tears before they stream down my cheeks and ruin my makeup. 

Back straight, eyes ahead, I strut onward until I'm out of sight, turning the corner to an empty office at the end of the hall, swinging the door open and heading toward the leather chair in the corner. It slides out from behind the desk easily as I plop into it, and glance at the clock to note how much time I have to flip my shit.

None.

_Fantastic._

I get a few heavy breaths out before leaning down toward my knees—running my fingers through my hair as I take a few additional breaths, trying to calm down. I _have_ to calm down. It's 2 o'clock, and I should be upstairs now, getting ready to leave with the others.

I shouldn't be down here—I should never have come down here in the first fucking place. Fuck. Fuck this place, fuck this show, and fuck him. _Fuck him._

I jerk upwards sharply as the door opens again, and Pepper passes through it. Another figure trails behind her casually, standing just outside the threshold, and leaning on the side of the doorframe—facing away from us, like some sort of sentry. A curious one, without a hint of care in his expression. Nor that of anything other than a blend of boredom and curiosity.

"What the hell's going on with you?" Pepper asks in a desperate tone, seeing my shaken state.

Still trying—and failing—to retain my composure, I gasp sharply and hold my breath for a moment, tensing up my body to help stabilize it. "Daniel—Daniel's cheating on me," I murmur lowly.

Pepper's eyes widen. "What?" 

"He's _cheating_ on me."

I watch as her face sinks slightly, "Oh, _shit..._ I'm so sorry," Pepper murmurs again as she steps closer, kneeling down to pull me in for a hug.

The hurt intensifies again as I reach up to wipe a tear off the edges of my lashes, and I tighten my eyes—feeling the emotion boil over. " _Oh God, no_..." I mumble at the tears rise without my consent. " _Damn it !_ " I lean over slightly, trying to control my breath. 

"Okay," Pepper says, glancing at the clock before putting her hands on my shoulders. "Look, there's going to be a time and place for this, but it's not right now, okay? Right now there's something you've got to go and do—there's no time, just try get through it, and then we can cry together later, does that sound?"

I exhale sharply, glancing at the clock on the wall. "No, you're not supposed to cry..."

Pepper scoffs, chuckling as she pulls me up. "Come on, let's go." I nod as she gently guides me across the room, stepping ahead to pass through the door, and just by Loki.

Still leaning against the doorframe, he takes my arm gently as I step by, stopping me in my tracks. My eyes fall back down to his hand gripping me, and up to meet his emerald eyes. I shake my head questioningly, not even knowing what to say—why is he even here?

"I just wanted to say," he says coolly. "I've been very interested in seeing this performance of yours, and I hope you do well today."

I furrow a brow confusedly. "Thanks, I guess." 

I'll be the first to admit that he sounds more interested in the survival of the performance than my emotional wellbeing...but some reassurance is better than none. Even though I might've appreciated more of the latter. And less of the coldness gleaming in his eye. 

He nods, and lifts a hand up to the back of my shoulder as he steps forward, pulling me lightly along with him to the lobby. A soft wave of energy pulses through me, filling me with a gentle, comfortable warmth. His hand slides down my back slightly as he pulls away, and I look back at him curiously one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned readers, it's showtime! ;)


	7. Chapter 7

I take a deep breath as I stand at the base of the stage—which is more of an open platform towering slightly above the seats. There's a small curtain I've been hiding behind, and the rest of the guests' view is supplemented by the big, towering buildings of Manhattan.

I glance up at the cloudy sky, trying to remind myself again and again to channel my anger into energy, to give a damn good performance. Because Pepper was right, I'll regret it if I let this opportunity go, and mess it up because of Daniel. He's just another asshole—attracted to me, but never really cared about me. He wasn't the first, and I'm sure he won't be the last. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but I'll have plenty of time to hurt over it later tonight.

My suit is thick, protecting me against the cold, but the chill nervousness I feel throughout my body is permeating my bones. I glance over my shoulder at Angie and Kate—my partners for this dance. They'll be going up on stage shortly after me, and they look just as nervous as I am, albeit slightly more excited.

I exhale heavily as I hear the first round of violins picking up, and clench my fists for a moment before walking up the stairs and through the curtains—to the center of the platform. As some cheers and applause sound through the audience, I look out at the sea of faces—some seated in several rows before me, and others spreading out far back into a standing crowd. 

My gaze drops down to the first and second rows, where I see my friends staring back up at me with wide smiles. Pepper holds two thumbs up while Tony gives a friendly nod, and the Asgardians smile broadly—save for Loki, with his sharp, evaluative expression that drops a heavy weight into my stomach.

The violins slow to a demonstrative pause, and I take a deep breath—readying myself. I drag my toe along the platform as I turn, and before the first round of vocals, my breath almost hitches in my throat as I catch sight of Daniel.

Fire explodes through my veins as I gather my breath, and slide my foot backward, leaning back with my arms extending. My chest vibrates as a high note flows out of my throat unreservedly—not a single muscle or hint of tension preventing it from reverberating outward. For a moment, everything in my body naturally drops into sheer peace and bliss—like magic.

I cock my head back forward suddenly as the music picks up with a bit more lively pop, and Angie and Kate appear behind me, dancing along to the rest of the song with me. I look down, seeing Loki's expression having grown even more dense and solemn, with slightly widened eyes. He doesn't look impressed at all—startled is more like it. I push it out of my mind, trying to focus as more of our performers come up on the stage in the last few moments of the song.

" _Wooh!_ " I hear a voice cheer, while another dancer, Jackson, spins me around, and my hair flips as I snap backward—revealing the strong, flexible curvature of my back. I smile as he pulls me back up, and we finish the dance with a proud pose—as a group—with me at the front.

***

The sound of cheers and applause continues on through the show, pushing me further and further into a state of absolute loss—loss of myself in every movement and note. Until finally, it's time for the last number—the one that James and the Academy had decided would be a happy, welcoming gesture of acceptance to the Asgardians.

Despite the fact that I've been on the stage for almost two hours, I'm even more nervous now than I was before...

"Everything'll be fine," Angie says, stepping up next to me as our wardrobe lady, Mariana, tightens the thin line of cloth wrapping over my shoulder—a very, very slight implication of Asgardian attire. "You've got this!"

I know I've got this. I know the lyrics and the moves. 

I nod, and smile at her—feeling my chest sink at the thought of going up on stage and seeing Daniel again. Smiling at me like nothing's happened... Nevermind Loki, glaring at me like I've done something wrong.

"I know it'll be fine," I say with a shrug. "I just.... I don't know, I think I'll feel better once I'm on stage. I'm so damn nervous."

"Don't be," she shakes her head and pats me on the shoulder as she turns slightly, ready to walk off. "You can do this."

I watch as she walks away from me, over to the rest of the group of people disassembling their costumes. "That's not what I'm worried about..." I murmur.

I'm worried about my own safety while I perform this. I'm worried about what I'm going to say to Daniel afterward. And no amount of consolation will help, I'll just feel better when both are over with.

I stride out on stage, scanning across the faces of my Asgardian friends in the front row. Gods—gods in the front row, how much safer does it get than that?

I hear a few more cheers from the front row, and my heart lightens as I approach the end of the song without any trouble. As I hit the final high note, the same energy reverberates through me as the flames disappear back into my hands, and I hold the note as I slowly lower myself down on one knee—dragging my gaze down to our guests, where Loki peers up at me once more with a blank expression, and slightly widened eyes. I disregard it as I bow my head respectfully to them, with the song ending rather abruptly and dramatically.

Staring down at the grey platform underneath me, my chest heaves as applause breaks out through the crowd. After standing and taking a bow, one by one, the others file onto the platform, and together, we bow to the proud, enthusiastic citizens of New York.


	8. Chapter 8

Flowers, flowers, and more flowers. Apart from the show itself, this is probably the high point of my day—the point where I'm out and about in the street, along with the rest of the crew, seeing all our friends and family and being congratulated. I got two bouquets of flowers from the Academy, and now I see two more approaching me from off to the side, around the stage.

"Wonderful job, Lady Cerys," says Thor as he strides over, and hands a bouquet to me with a big smile.

"Thank you _so_ much!" I grin as I take it, and look over at Pepper, who goes in for a hug with the flowers in her arms.

She says from over my shoulder, "That was incredible, you're so light on your feet!"

I pull away and grin at her, before looking around at the others. At this point, it's a struggle to smile as much as I'm having to, and I can't help but wonder if anyone else is hearing the falsehood in my voice. "Well that means the world to me, thank you."

"Wouldn't have missed it," says Heimdall, lowering his chin. "It was truly a beautiful performance—you've a gift with languages as well, evidently. Very well done."

"Thank you, Heimdall," I say, tilting my head graciously at him for a moment, before glancing at Loki—ever the quiet, observant shadow in our group.

He presses his lips together as soon as our eyes meet, offering a subtle nod. "Truly a... captivating production."

I crinkle a brow at the strenuousness in his tone—trying to decide whether or not I'm used to his oddities yet. Not a single thing he does rings reasonably with me. "I'll take that as a compliment," I nod at him—smiling.

A hint of a grin tugs in the corner of his mouth, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Per usual."

"Um...yeah." I grin as look back at Pepper. "Well I'm just glad everything went off without a hitch, I honestly thought there were going to be some problems..."

"Oh yeah, the security bit," Tony responds instead, waving a hand through the air. "Pepper told me about that—woulda been fine anyway, tons of S.H.I.E.L.D agents around."

I blink surprisedly—there's a hint of news that no one cared to share with me. "S.H.I.E.L.D's here? Were there threats, or something?"

Tony's brow shoots up. "Don't ask me, I'm not their keeper. Must've been something. But I'm surprised you didn't notice, with all the suits and whatnot?"

He can't be telling me the truth. If there was a security issue, he wouldn't have come, and he wouldn't have brought Pepper. I've only ever known S.H.I.E.L.D to show up places where there was an active threat of some sort—so if there was one, why didn't anyone tell us?

"Yeah I didn't notice them, I was a little, uhhh..." I pause, suddenly noticing Loki's dark expression as his eyes trail slowly away from Tony. "Distracted."

"Beautiful, you mean!" A familiar voice rings behind me, and my breath hitches in my throat.

I turn slowly, feeling the grin melt from my expression as Daniel comes up, and walks straight into a hug. I continue holding on to the bouquets as he wraps his arms over them and around me, leaning over slightly for a kiss. I'm not one to cause a scene in the middle of all these people, so I simply keep my face frozen—slightly grimaced, if nothing else—as he plants the soft kiss on my unmoving lips.

"You were incredible, babe!" he beams at me, and a twinge of pain tightens in my chest at the title as I stride around him quietly, making it clear that I want him to follow.

" _Um....okay?_ " I hear him mumble behind me as he turns, and trails after me.

I stop pivot toward him sharply once we're a ways away, and his brow furrows as he notices the tears surfacing in my eyes. "Okay, I'm going to make this quick. You and I are done," I say in a low, calm voice—trying to control the twisting hurt in my gut.

He pauses, face sinking. "Wait... what?"

"We're done."

I glare up at him as he shakes his head. " _Why!?_ "

"You play shit games with me, that's why," I breathe out quietly, and my voice cracks slightly. "Because you're cheating on me. And I found out today— _today_ —of all days. I might forgive you one day for the former, but I'll never get over the latter. So you can rightly fuck off."

His face pales suddenly with realization, and he parts his lips as he stares down at me. "Wh—what are you talking about? I don't-"

"No," the corners of my lips twist downward as I shake my head. "I'm not entertaining this. I'm just not. I heard everything I needed to hear when you were talking on the phone. We're done here."

"We're not-" he says, but I storm away before he can say another word.

I glance back once at the group, feeling hint of humiliation as I walk back to them. I've never been cheated on before, and I don't really know how to process it. I don't know how I look to other people right now...Logically, I understand that it's not my fault, but it's almost embarrassing to think that I was dumb enough to fall for someone like him.

Pepper steps toward me as I get close. "You okay?" she murmurs.

I nod, biting my lip to hold back the tears. "I'm fine."

Her face sinks with sadness as she brushes my shoulder with her hand. "I'm really sorry, Cer."

I shrug. "Well, I really know how to pick 'em."

"It's not your fault," she says endearingly. "If finding the love of your life was easy, everyone would do it."

I press my lips together as a tear escapes down my cheek, and I nod my head as I glance over her shoulder, at the company. There I see Sif, and she grins weakly at me before looking away with a palpable awkwardness. Loki, standing to her right, looks toward me immediately—holding my gaze for a moment before looking away.

"You're right," I look back at Pepper, wiping away the tear. "I'm just tired."

"I know. I can't tell you to stop dwelling on it now because that's not how it works, but it'll get better—I promise." 

I sigh heavily. "Is... is he still behind me?"

Pepper glances over my shoulder, and her expression remains unchanged as she shakes her head. "No," she says. "He's gone."

"Good," I say, and take a deep breath.

"Come on," she says, putting a hand on my shoulder. "We should try to enjoy the night."

"Wait," I say, pulling away as I step back. "Just... do me a favor and stall them for a bit. I need to go and change first."

Her brow flickers. "Right," she says, glancing at my outfit. "Go for it, we'll be out here."


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back inside the building I was prepped in, leaning over the counter in the changing room. My uniform is off and piled on top of the brightly lit countertop, and I'm back in my comfort leggings and sneakers. I told the others I needed to change—and maybe I do need to do that generally—but what I really wanted in that moment was to be left alone. To cry out the fact that such a monumental day got tarnished with a bout of life's happenstance shittiness.

It was hard to look everyone in the eye, knowing that they all sensed my newfound reservoir of sadness. I've only had three semi-serious relationships, but none had ever exploded so publicly—where my entourage of friends needed no explaining of its sudden demise. I learned to be more and more cautious along the way, along bad dates here and there, but they all ended the same way—they _ended_.

I jump at a sudden knock at the door. " _Fuck_ ," I gasp, wiping the tears off my face. " _Come in_."

The door creaks open, and I turn to see Loki standing in the threshold—donning an expression akin to boredom, and a semblance of annoyance.

"I was dispatched to retrieve you."

I nod slowly, offering up my best grin. "They dispatched _you_ for that job, huh?" 

"Incredulous, isn't it?" He strolled around the room, looking about the messy countertops and strewn costumes like an exhibition.

I sigh. "Well I'm sorry to keep you guys waiting... I just I needed a minute."

"Obviously."

I pause for a moment, watching his chiseled profile. "Loki, I'm going to need another minute, and I can't handle that right now."

He stops and looks over at me, a smidge doubtful. "Can't handle what?"

"The sarcasm—I could use a little less of it," I murmur sadly, and look back down at the counter.

A subtle glance in the mirror reveals his pointed stare. "Forgive me, then," he says, stepping toward me.

"It's fine," I mumble, looking up at my reflection. I glance at him sauntering in the corner, seeing his eyes flicker over me briefly before looking away. "Can I ask you something?"

He looks at me and nods. 

"Why were you so unfriendly to me, when we first met?" I ask. "Did I _do_ something to upset you?"

His face hardens, as though I'd implicated him just now in something. "Why do you want to know?"

I open my mouth to speak, and then close it again reluctantly—shaking my head as I turn back to the counter and pick up the uniform. He doesn't really care, and I don't know why I bother with him these days. Most of the time, he doesn't even look like he wants to be associated with us, much less spoken to. 

"Never mind, don't worry about it," I gesture to the door as I head toward it. "Let's go, the others are probably waiting for us."

"You did nothing wrong by me," Loki says suddenly. "Or anyone. I don't believe you've anything to blame yourself for."

My eyes widen surprisedly at him. And for a moment, I'm struck dumb to have gotten that out of him—the closest thing to sentiment I've heard him get to. It almost prompts me to wonder whether it was no accident that he was the one to come and fetch me—that maybe he was curious, but also concerned on some deep level. 

...Or maybe I need to stop myself right now, before I jump down the rabbit hole of overthinking and jumping to conclusions. 

"Thanks," I say, stepping toward him while he remains fixed in place. "That means a lot—"

The door opening suddenly startles me, and I turn to see James striding through the doorway searchingly. "Cerys, I was wondering where—oh," he stops suddenly and his expression goes blank, and I step back—next to Loki.

"What do you want, James?" I murmur. 

He crinkles a brow, feigning obliviousness to the reasoning behind my hostility, before gesturing at Loki. "Who's your friend? Why's he in here?"

Loki glances between us curiously, but remains in place beside me. "This is Loki," I say. "He was just coming to check on me."

Silence passes between us for a moment, until James sighs frustratedly. "Outside isn't allowed in here, make this quick or get going." And with that, he turns and walks out of the door. The moment it shuts behind him, I exhale lightly—letting relief flush through me.

"Who was that man?" Loki asks, looking over at me suspiciously. "And why were you afraid of him?"

I blink surprisedly at him. "Afraid? I wasn't afraid."

His expression remains unconvinced, but the 'give-a-damn levels in his eyes don't seem high enough to inquire further. "Very well," he says. "We should go. Evidently we've much 'fun' to look forward to this night."

 _Fun._ Any other day, any other mood, I'd be up for it—but not tonight. Eating out, dancing, small talk, whatever it is that the others have in mind, all sounds abhorrent right now. Whatever energy I have left feels like it should be allocated to physically putting myself in bed. 

"I—I think I..." I pause, considering my words carefully.

Loki arches a brow. "You think...?" 

"I... don't feel up for this tonight, but I'll tell them that myself, I guess."

Loki pauses for a moment, and then nods. "As you wish," he says, and begins stride toward the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Once outside, a number of puzzled expressions turn and eye us curiously—as though they'd been wondering what kept us so long. In the meantime, I prepare myself for the ensuing announcement of my departure—which is absolutely necessary, for everyone involved. For the sake of my ability to wring out all the tears bubble under the surface, and for the sake of _not_ embarrassing myself in an otherwise drunken stupor. 

"Hey guys," I say intently, scanning their concerned faces. "Sorry I kept you waiting, but...you guys go without me, I'm going to go home."

Among the subtle moans of protest, Pepper frowns. "Cer, are you sure that's what you ought to do tonight _?"_

I nod heavily. "I just want to go home, Pep," I say quietly. "And go to sleep, maybe." 

Understanding spreads across her face, and she sighs heavily. "Do you want me to call a car for you?"

"No," I say. "I'm a few blocks down, I'll be okay."

"I'd like a walk as well." Loki remarks sharply, and all eyes turn to him—including my own. He jumps from face to face briskly, before looking back down at me. "Unless you prefer to be left alone."

I glance up at the sky, seeing that it's getting dark. Despite the crowds still roaming the streets from the festival, it's never a bad idea to walk with someone when nighttime's beginning to approach. Though, still... Whilst staring at the tall god, I arch a brow at the strange thought emanating from his offer—that he's asking for my company. 

"Sure, you can come." I mumble a bit perturbedly, and turn to offer my goodbyes. Pepper keeps a hardened look on Loki while I engage in the onslaught of final complements and goodbyes, and gently grabs my shoulder as I turn to leave. 

"Cerys," she mumbles with a dark expression. "Be careful walking back."

Her tone hardly matches the severity of walking across town, particularly while escorted by a guy we both know, but I give her a meaningful look anyway. "Always, Pep."

Her lips thin reproachfully as I step away, and turn to head off with him—deeper into the city, and further away from central park. Silence settles between us for a time, allowing me to drift away into my thoughts. An interesting dynamic to engage in with an acquaintance, which usually demands some semblance of small talk.

"So... you like walks," I mutter after some time, as we continue strolling down the bustling streets of New York.

"I do," he says flatly, looking up at the buildings—not even a glance in my direction.

My brows shoot up a bit at the clipped response. " _Okay.._."

For a moment, the only sound between us is the sound of our shoes against the sidewalk. Which is becoming a bit awkward, now that I've actually tried to engage him in some kind of conversation. Though still, the overall feeling is a bit surreal. Walking down the street with an Asgardian—an _alien_ —when a mere few weeks ago, I had no expectations to even become acquainted with one. 

"I'm not particularly fond of...people," he suddenly says. "But you seem marginally less dull than the others."

" _Oh,_ " I blink surprisedly—maybe a bit too enthusiastically—and smile as I glance in his direction. Toward the tall alien strutting down the street beside me, with his usual, decidedly dour expression. "Well... if you wanted to be friends, all you had to do was ask."

"I have asked," he says matter-of-factly.

I arch a brow at him amusedly, wondering if this little excursion was, in fact, his way of 'asking.' "Being nice from the start would've made things even simpler."

"Is that so?"

I snort. " _Yeah,_ people who are nice to each other tend to become friends."

He couldn't have possibly _not_ known that. Though I can't tell what he is or isn't really thinking—there's hardly any hint of reactivity in Loki's expression these days. Even now as he saunters forward, hands still nestled in his pockets. "Well, I'm sorry to have angered you thusly."

A soft giggle escapes my throat, and he glances toward the sound. "Don't worry about it, you didn't _really_ anger me," I say earnestly. "It was just strange, I couldn't figure out what I did to upset _you_ so much."

"I wasn't upset." In the corner of my eye, I see him look toward me. "Do you always look to yourself for blame?"

My shoulders sink disappointedly a bit. Some part of me was _still_ hoping to gain a little insight, some understanding of why he treated me the way he did. Though it may very well be more productive to just accept that even _he_ might not have given it much thought. 

"Sometimes I do."

"Why?"

I look at him. "' _Why?'_ "

"Yes," he nods. "I want to know why."

Huh. It'll the first time I've really had to put it into words, so I take a minute to consider how I want to present my own reasoning—suddenly treading over dangerous territories involving adulthood insecurities and a desire for approval. 

"Well I can't really stomach the idea of people being upset with me," I answer plainly. "And even if it's unfounded, I think reflecting inwardly first makes us better, in a way."

"How do you figure?" he mumbles absently, trailing alongside me as I turn a corner.

"If you can hold on to the idea of your self worth, it's an easy thing to step back and try to recognize a mistake for what it is. Doing that can only make you better."

Silence passes between us briefly. "Sound reasoning."

"It's my mom's philosophy, I can't take credit for it."

"My mother told me something similar." He pauses, glancing up at the starry sky. "That 'a true king must _always_ admit his faults...'"

"Also sound." I grin. "Where is she now?"

"She's dead."

I widen my eyes, and cast them back down to the ground before me. "Oh... I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

With my arms folded across my chest, I glance toward the other side of the street. There's a deeply rooted sadness in his tone, but I wouldn't know where to begin to comfort someone who's just gone through the death of a parent. I've even known anyone who's died, Though Loki also doesn't seem like the type to dish out his feelings to a mere acquaintance. 

"So does that mean you're a king, where you are from?"

Something in his expression sinks sullenly, though it's almost too subtle to notice. "No, I was never intended for such a thing."

"But you're supposed to be a prince, right?" I ask carefully.

"I am a Prince of Asgard," he says, and I eye him momentarily—taking in the idea that I'm walking beside a 'prince of something.' "Or what's left of it."

"Sounds like it's complicated," I remark, not wanting to ask any intrusive questions.

"Quite complicated, yes."

"Well..." I pause. "Maybe you can find something to occupy yourself with, now that you're living here. We have more than enough political strife for any one of us to dive into, if you're into that."

"I will continue to aid my brother in governance of our people, for now," he says. "From there, yes—we shall see." I slow down as we approach my complex, and Loki's eyes trail up the building before dropping back down to me.

"This is where I live," I say.

"I gathered that," he responds, raising a brow at the building contemplatively. "It's actually not too far from where we live."

I grin. "I know, I figured that out when I came to visit—so I'll always be nearby, if you ever need me."

His eyes drop down to mine observantly. And something about the plain thoughtfulness of his stare is captivating—something about the idea of occupying his thoughts in that moment, draws a faint bit of heat to my cheeks. 

"Well," I pause, turning toward him. "Thank you for walking with me."

"Thank you for your conversation," he says with a nod. In a swift movement, he holds a hand out to me, with the other crossed behind his back.

I look down at it, and then back up at him with a smirk. "My hands are still dirty, you don't want to kiss these things..."

A hint of amusement ghosts his features as he pulls it back. "Very well," he drones in his low, baritone voice. "Good night, Lady Cerys."

"Good night..." I chuckle at his formality, and watch as he turns slowly, making way further down the block. I don't wait for him to turn the corner before heading inside, and upstairs to my apartment.

As soon as I plop down on my couch, a mixture of emotion spins inside my chest— I didn't think I'd enjoy that as much as I did, and I'm grateful for the effort he'd put into forming a friendship with me. Of all the nights he could've picked to serve that up, tonight was perfect timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this far. Things are going to really pick up next chapter, starting with an unexpected intruder in Cerys' apartment. But apart from the angst, we're also going to see Loki and the others integrated more in Midgardian life! i.e. how they fit in to peoples' usual celebration of the holidays, and... seeing the snow! Til next time!


	11. Chapter 11

Almost a week and half has gone by since the show, and I've barely spoken to anyone outside of work. I haven't had any interest in going out, and the only person I've talked to over the phone is Pepper. She spent this past Saturday night with me too.

There was one moment of cheerfulness last week when I first got back to work, when Frankie and Mike congratulated me again and told me they loved the show. Apart from that, I've spent every single day filing away the pain bit by bit, reminding myself that it never hurts more than it does the first night. In a way, my bed has also gotten less and less welcoming since that night—another sign that I'm recovering, since it was still soft to lay against in all the crooked positions I was in, when the hurt was still fresh. It probably was uncomfortable, I just didn't pay it any mind until tonight.

I roll over in my sheets, feeling my back ache as I shift into a position that puts less strain on it. My eyes open slightly in the process, and it takes me a moment to realize that the sound of footsteps in the living room is what woke me in the first place. I furrow a brow as I lift myself up from the bed for a moment, and listen.

The blood in my limbs turns cold the moment I realize that I'm not alone in here—someone's outside my door, walking around. I can hear the sound of things being moved around—albeit quietly—and I shuffle slowly out of bed, trying to make as little sound as possible.

Thankfully the door's closed, and while I hold my breath, I press my hand slowly around the doorknob, and quietly turn the lock. I let the air escape silently past my lips as I sneak back over to my night stand, trying not to let tunnel vision take over as I grab my phone and dial 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" I hear a woman's voice on the phone.

"There's someone in my apartment," I whisper.

I feel the panic setting into my chest, and it's getting more and more difficult to control myself as I tell the operator my name and address. I trail over to the window, still hearing feet shuffling outside my door, and moments pass before I start to see red, blue and white lights down the street.

My head snaps at the sudden sound of quick movements on the other side of the door, and a window being opened and closed. I jump away from the window, hearing the sound of feet clanging against the metal fire escape. As soon as they're gone, I look down at my phone—my heart beating wildly against my chest.

The light of the screen is bright against my eyes as I open up a text message to Pepper:

_Hey I don't know if you're awake, but someone was inside my apartment just now, and the cops are here..._

It's one o'clock in the morning on a Friday night, so she may very well still be awake. As soon as I lower my hand down to my side, my phone begins to vibrate—a phone call, from... Tony?

"H—Hello?" I answer shakily.

"Someone was in your apartment?" I hear his voice.

"Uh," I nod, squeezing my eyes shut as I try to control my heaving chest. "Yeah—yeah, they're gone now."

"We're on our way," he says.

"W—Who's 'we?'" I ask, but he hangs up before I can finish the sentence.

I jump at a sudden knock on the door, and shuffle over to the door—opening it carefully to see if there's anyone still in the living room, before running over to the door and looking through the peephole. It's the cops.

~

There are two cops in my apartment now. I'm curled up on the couch, and one has been asking me questions for almost thirty minutes now, while the other's been looking around for signs of the intruder.

"It looks like they must've had a key, or something—no signs of forced entry," he says, looking back at us from the door. "Did you lock the door before going to bed?"

"Absolutely," I nod. "I always check the windows and doors before going to bed."

"Buildings here are pretty close together, did you hear whether they went up or down the fire escape?"

I shake my head. "I think they went up, but I'm not sure..."

We turn our heads toward another knock at the door, and the officer nearest to it opens the door. There, I see them—Pepper, Tony, and Thor. No sign of Sif or Heimdall. I stand as they greet the officer as they pass over the threshold, and bustle over to the couch.

"Are you okay!?" Pepper asks, throwing her arms around me reassuringly.

"Yeah," I say, looking at Tony and Thor's disconcerted expressions over her shoulder. "I'm just a little shaken up..."

"Glad to see you're alright, Lady Cerys," says Thor, and looks to the officers. "Have you found the intruder?"

"Not yet," the officer beside me responds, and looks back toward me. "We'll file a report, and keep you updated on it."

"Okay, thank you," I say as he walks over to his partner.

They turn and say goodbye to us one more time before leaving, and I plop down heavily on the couch.

"Were you guys out?" I ask, looking at Pepper as she sits down in front of me, on my wooden coffee table.

"Yeah, we were," she says, glancing at Thor and Tony—who sit themselves down on the couch to my right.

"Did you see who was in here?" Tony asks.

"No," I shake my head. "I have no idea if it was a man, or a woman, or whoever... God, I... I was so goddamn scared. Do you think they'll come back?"

"Probably not," he says.

"Do you want to come stay with us?" Pepper asks, and I beam at her a little.

"Can't tonight," Tony waves a hand, and looks over at me regretfully. "Any other night would be fine, but we've got some people coming in the morning for some meetings this week... If you can wait a few nights, then—"

"You could come stay with us for a time," says Thor. "I believe we have a spare room in our abode."

"Guys, it's fine," I say, waving a hand at them as my chest sinks. "I really appreciate the offer, but I don't want to intrude. It's okay."

"It's not an intrusion at all," Thor smiles warmly as he shakes his head. "We'd enjoy your company greatly."

A thankful grin tugs on the corner of my mouth as relief sweeps through me, and I nod my head—feeling wetness tinge my eyes a bit. I really didn't want to be alone tonight, or for a few nights maybe. The idea was terrifying, and I'm not sure how I would've fared as soon as they were gone, and the lights went out.

"Thank you so much," I say softly. "I would really like that. I won't be any trouble, I'll even help clean up around the loft, and go shopping for you guys."

"I'm sure we'd all enjoy the company alone," Thor nods. "But your kindness is also appreciated, thank you."

"No, it's _your_ kindness that _I_ appreciate," I say, with a faint laugh in my voice. "But... Are you sure the others will be alright with it?" I ask, thinking of Loki.

Thor chuckles. "Once you've lived there for a time, you'll realize just how much room we all have. I'm sure there'll be no problems."

"Thanks, Thor," says Pepper, leaning forward and patting him on the shoulder. "I really appreciate it too."

Thor inclines his head, and I sigh. "I guess, just... Give me a minute to gather my things?"

"Of course," he says, and I get up to wonder back into my darkened room.

I take a few more relieving breaths as I pull out a small tote bag from my closet, and start putting some essentials into it. After a few minutes, I glance at my bed on my way back out—I definitely wouldn't have gotten any sleep if I'd stayed here tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki's in for a surprise when he gets up to brush his teeth in the morning... lol


	12. Chapter 12

It was silly to think I'd get any sleep tonight at all, even at the Asgardians' place. Thor and I got in sometime past 1:30 AM, and the entire loft was dark—everyone asleep. Only the pale city lights shining through the line of massive windows to the right illuminated the light-colored furniture, and we were quiet as we passed through it.

Thor was also right about one thing, I hadn't realized just how big the loft really is. The hallway I'd seen when I first came through the door was only half its real length—it curves to the left as well, and at the very end of the hall is the spare bedroom that Thor had mentioned. He left me with a spare towel, and assured me that I should consider his home my own.

I've been laying in this bed for a few hours now. There's a window and a reading chair to my left, and the window's been letting some light in for me to see the room as I flip from side to side. The bed itself is massive—an extra long, king-sized mattress—and the blankets are thick and warm. There's a dresser and a bookshelf in the corner next to the window, and a large, beautiful corner desk on the other side. There some paintings too, of forests and mountains, on some open spaces of the walls, and a big carpet on the hardwood floor to complete the image.

It's a beautiful room—much nicer than any room I've ever slept in. Sometime around five in the morning, I start seeing the pale, orange light of dawn creeping over the top of the building on the other side of the street. My eyelids are heavy, but I just haven't been able to get to sleep.

I sit up in the bed, sighing as I look around the room. As I run my hand through my hair, I realize how greasy it is—maybe from the excessive sweating, I'm not sure. I don't know how it managed to get dirty so fast, but maybe that's why I'm not able to sleep. Maybe I just don't feel entirely comfortable because I know I haven't showered.

I sigh heavily as I slide my legs out from under the covers, and hover them over the ground for a moment before shifting off the side of the mattress.

" _Ugh..._ " I groan as I look out the window for a moment, before shuffling over to my bag—which I'd left on the reading chair—to grab the spare towel beside it.

I open the door quietly, and tip toe to the bathroom at the far corner of the hall, trying not to wake anyone. I glance at the living room for a moment before entering it, briefly taking in the peace and quiet permeating the air. It's quiet—but safe.

The door opens and closes without much of a sound, and the bathroom itself is fairly well-kept. It takes a minute to figure out exactly how the shower nozzle works, but the water warms up quickly and the pressure is strong. I step into it slowly, with the intention to make this quick.

As I lather and rinse my hair, I hum indiscernibly to "Shape of You"—not from a desire to sing, but rather, a desire for something to help soothe me. Singing has always done just that, and even a hum as low as this one—to keep from waking everyone—is doing just the trick, as all the tension pours out of me with the slivers of air passing between my lips.

I stop humming once I shut off the shower, and step onto the mat—grabbing the towel and wrapping it around my body, un-tucking the hair caught underneath it. I turn the knob slowly, just as before, and open the door—gasping sharply and jumping back at the sight of a tall, lean figure standing just on the other side.

It takes me a moment to catch my breath as I trail up the plaid pajamas and plain grey shirt, up to the figure's face—to Loki's face, peering confusedly down at me.

His eyes flicker down the length of me briefly as I pinch the towel to hold it up, and he tilts his head to the side. "What are you doing in my bathroom?"

My jaw drops awkwardly as I look up at him with widened eyes—this probably isn't the time, the place, or... the attire to be having this conversation in.

" _Uhhh,_ " I murmur. "It's... It's a long story, but, the my apartment got broken into, and-"

His expression tightens. "Broken into by whom?"

I lift a shoulder and let it drop. "I don't know. If they caught him, I'd probably still be at home..."

"So you're taking refuge here?"

"Not quite," I let out a breathy chuckle. "Pepper... wanted me to stay in Stark tower, but they've got some guests coming, and your brother offered me the spare room so I wouldn't have to be alone."

Loki's eyes narrow as they dart to the side momentarily, and he presses his lips into a thin line. "Is he... accompanying you?"

"What?" I crinkle my brows, and shake my head. "No, no—of course not, what I meant was that I wouldn't be alone in my apartment."

His gaze relaxes for a moment, and he nods. "I see."

"Did I... wake you?" I ask, after a bit of an awkward pause.

"Yes," he says. "I felt your humming."

"Felt?" I furrow a brow.

A quick thought darts across his expression. "Heard—I heard your humming."

"Oh... I'm so sorry, I thought I was being quiet," I look behind him. "I hope I didn't wake anyone else up."

"I doubt it sincerely," he says matter-of-factly.

"Well, it woke you up," I mumble.

"For my own reasons."

I narrow my eyes confusedly. "I'm not sure what you mean by that."

"Don't you?" he asks softly, and I stare back at him blankly. After a moment, he tilts his head. "You don't, do you?"

I shake my head slowly. "No—you're going to have to enlighten me..."

A grin tugs on the corner of his mouth as he glances at the goosebumps forming on my arms from the chill air—or from him, maybe. "Another time, perhaps."

I part my lips, and then close them again reluctantly. "Okay, well..." I pause. "I guess I'll just..." my voice trails off as I point behind him.

He's unmoving as I step forward, and turns only slightly as I try to squeeze past him—leaving little room between himself and the doorframe. For a moment I can practically feel remnants of his breath on my bare shoulder, as his head turns with me while I brush past his arm. A nervous knot forms in my stomach, and I don't look back as I scurry over to my room, and quickly shut the door behind me.


	13. Chapter 13

The more the sun rises, the more I sink under the sheets. I've heard doors open and close in the hallway, indicating that the others are up, but that only further encourages my inner recluse. I've managed to drift in and out of sleep a few times, but this time I've stayed awake because of morning hunger—which is especially intense this particular morning, because my body's spent the majority of the night awake, instead of resting and slowing down all its functions.

At the point where my stomach starts growling, I gather the courage to ignore the voices murmuring from somewhere inside the loft, and go outside to get some food. The voices hush as soon as I set food on the carpet outside, and my feet shuffle along it as I turn the corner.

I look across the living area as I stride out, seeing only Loki, Thor and Heimdall in the kitchen, standing around the island with plates. I lock eyes with Loki immediately—who's still wearing the pajamas—and recoil slightly at the memory of our encounter a few hours ago.

"Lady Cerys, good morning," says Thor, and I look over at him. "How are you feeling?"

I part my lips to speak, but at the sound of my stomach suddenly making another whale mating call, I stop and lower my chin embarrassedly—watching as Loki grins, and picks up a mug to take a sip of whatever's inside.

"I suppose that answers that," says Thor with a chuckle, as he pushes back the bar stool to his left. "Come—have some food with us."

"Thank you," I smile softly at him as I walk over, and lower myself down onto the chair—with Loki standing to my left, at the end of the island.

Heimdall prepares me a plate, and pivots between the island and the stove with a plateful of scrambled eggs. "Here you are, Lady Cerys," he says at he sets it down in front of me. "I'm terribly sorry to have heard what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are welcome here."

I sigh, feeling a mixture of gratitude and guilt for the imposition. "I appreciate that so much, truly. And if there's anything that I can help you all with, please don't hesitate to ask."

"I believe those were your exact words the last time you were here," Heimdall grins.

I smile warmly back at him. "Well, the offer still stands... Though actually, at this point, I think it's jumping around enthusiastically."

Thor looks over at me. "Well if I may take you up on that offer, we've yet to prepare for our journey. We haven't gone to purchase any supplies, and I'm not even sure what we'll need," he pauses, and gestures to me knowingly. "What was the place called again? Swizzland?"

"I'm... I'm not sure what you're talking about," I shake my head.

"Oh you know, the journey—Pepper must have told you. She must have mentioned it," he looks to Heimdall. "Remember? She told us when she was here."

Heimdall's brows rise amusedly. "I believe you're referring to the trip she'd planned to include Cerys on... As a celebration of her birth."

"Celebration of my birth..." I pause, raising a brow. "You mean my _birthday_?"

I look back at Thor, seeing his eyes widen slowly with realization. He closes them regretfully, and nods. "Yes..." he pauses. "Yes, that was the one," his voice trails off.

My eyelids peel back slowly as a subtle, uncertain excitement hums in my chest. I glance around at them, looking to address any one of them for answers, "Are you guys talking about... _Switzerland?_ " I look back at Thor. "My birthday is in three weeks, and Pepper said something about going to... _Switzerland_?"

Thor covers his mouth with a hand and sighs as he glances between Loki and Heimdall. I turn and follow his gaze—Heimdall's brows rise again with slight amusement, while Loki peers down at me intently with a subtle grin.

I turn back to Thor. "So she's—she's planning a trip to Switzerland, with me!? And... all of you?" I furrow a brow—still smiling.

Thor sighs defeatedly, and a hint of sorry regret glimmers behind the grin tugging on the corner of his mouth. "Well, my understanding is that there's some business abroad, but there will be additional time allocated to celebrating the holidays," he says, and glances at Heimdall. "What were they called, again? Christenings?"

"Christmas!?" I say as my lips stretch apart further, almost past their limits.

"Yes," he nods. "That was the one."

I raise my hands up, letting my jaw drop slightly. "Oh my goodness," I say, as I stand up suddenly from my chair to go get my phone. "I need to talk to h—wait," I stop halfway across the room, turning back to them. "I probably can't say anything yet, can I? If this was meant to be a surprise..."

"I believe that's exactly what it was intended as," says Thor, knitting his brows together regretfully. "I'm so sorry, Cerys..."

"No!" I smile, shaking my head as I walk back over to the counter, and pat Thor's shoulder understandingly before sitting back down. "No, this isn't anything to be sorry for, this is..." I pause. "This is good. I love going about my days, having something to look forward to. I won't tell Pepper, and I'd be more than happy to help you figure out what you need for the trip."

I look over at Loki and Heimdall—looking twice at the subtle dourness that's covered Loki's expression, as his gaze jumps away from Thor's shoulder, and back to me. I swallow awkwardly as I look away from him.

"It's most appreciated, Lady Cerys," says Thor. "Are you available today, to go to the markets?"

I grin—he probably means the mall. "Well I've actually got to work later tonight, I'm not sure we'd have enough time to get there and back. How about tomorrow?"

Thor lowers his chin. "That works just fine!"

I turn my head to Loki and Heimdall, looking between them for a moment. "Do you guys want to come, too?"

"I've everything I need," says Loki, and I furrow a brow at him.

"You've got winter clothes, and everything?"

"I don't need those," he says nonchalantly, taking a sip from his mug. As he sets it back down, I can see that it's coffee—black.

"I don't know," I say, shaking my head as I look back up at him. "I hear Switzerland gets pretty cold this time of year..."

Loki flattens his palm against the island and leans on it slightly, peering down at me. I can't tell if the look on his face is amusement or annoyance—or some subtle combination of both. "I'm sure I'll be unbothered by it."

I raise a brow, raising a hand up in surrender. "Alright, if you say so! I'm sure there are some 'godly' things that I don't understand, so I'll take your word for it. I'll still bring a few spare pieces though, just in case. So if you do end up getting cold, you can just let me know," I say, smiling up at him.

Loki's holds my gaze for a brief instant, until his brow flickers with a subtle softness flashing across his eyes—along with the rest of his expression—and he continues to look down at me without blinking. I feel my cheeks flush slightly, and look away—I'm so not used to someone holding eye contact like that.

After a moment, my eyes dart toward his mug suddenly sliding across the granite. "Thank you," he says. At the sound of his footsteps trailing around me, I turn to my right—seeing him walk off with the mug in his hand. Thor turns back at him as well, and I look up to see some slight confusion in his profile.

"Is he alright?" Thor mumbles, facing Heimdall.

"Perfectly fine," Loki calls back responsively from around the corner, before shutting the door behind him.

I grin, and a soft chuckle beats through my chest. "Strange one, isn't he?" I ask endearingly.

Thor's brows shoot up as he rolls his eyes briefly. "You've no idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SWITZERLAAAAAND FOR CHRISTMAS! SURPRISE!
> 
> My gift to you all, since the holidays are coming up for us, as well! Who's ready to spend eight hours on a transatlantic plane, and hanging out in airports with Loki? I'll give you all some hints - transatlantic flights can get very peaceful and cozy if you're flying overnight, and Cerys is afraid of flying. Not unlike myself, and I recently flew to Paris. It was killer. But more on that later - for now, everyone's busy getting ready for the trip! Are you excited? Let me know in the comments! ;)


	14. Chapter 14

"HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAY!" Mike and Frankie croon as they walk into the back room, and I smile up at them as I pick up my purse and coat—getting ready to leave.

"Here you are," says Franke as she hands a small, decorative bag to me.

"Awww, you shouldn't have!" I say as I lean forward for a hug.

"Well, open it before you thank me!" she says from over my shoulder.

"I'm thankful regardless of what it is!" I say laughingly as I pull back, and start ruffling through the bag. At the very bottom, I beam at a pair of small, C-shaped earrings with tiny little gems at the top. "Oh my goodness—they're beautiful, Frankie!" I smile up at her, and lean in for another hug.

"My turn," says Mike, stepping forward and handing me his own little bag.

I pull the paper out of it next, and find a little bracelet at the bottom—with gems exactly like the earrings. "Is this a matching set!?" I look up at them, and Mike nods. I tilt my head graciously and lean forward for a hug. "Thank you so much—both of you, these are amazing."

"Are you doing anything special tonight?" Mike asks.

"Yeah," I nod. "I'm going to go home, freshen up, and then head out to Stark tower."

"Ahh," says Frankie. "Aren't worried about running into Daniel?"

I shake my head. "Even if I do, he should be the one worried about running into me—not the other way around."

"Good," Frankie drops her chin with approval. "Good—that's exactly how you should be thinking about it."

"Thanks," I grin, and gesture to the door. "Anyway, I need to head out, they'll be waiting for me soon!"

"Alright dude," she says as I head toward it. "Have a great time tonight!"

"Yeah, have fun!" Mike adds.

"Thanks you guys," I smile at them as I turn back one last time before leaving. "I'll see you guys later!"

~

I have just enough time after work to hurry back to my apartment and get ready for the birthday party. I might've thought we'd have it at my apartment, but Pepper offered to organize it at Stark tower—we were in agreement that there'd be much more room up there anyway.

My stay with the Asgardians only lasted a couple of days—I refused to impose any longer than that, even though I thoroughly enjoyed waking up every morning to the sight and smell of scrambled eggs and Norse gods in the kitchen. Somehow, it just made me feel grateful to know them, and even more so to befriend them. They really are such kind, incredible people. Even Loki, I think, though he's more reclusive—at times abrasive—than the rest, and I haven't had as much of a chance to interact with him because of that.

All in all, the world is different now—stranger—and much more magical than it was before. And at this point in time, I couldn't be happier to be alive. Good thing it's the perfect occasion to celebrate just that!

A contented smile grows on my face as I peer into the mirror, thinking about how I'm about to go see them all, and have an incredible night. Instead of letting my hair curl naturally, I blow dried and used my round brush to re-curl it. Giant waves are now tumbling over the open shoulders of the dress I picked tonight, which is floor-length and purple—as per the dress code, apart from color. That, I picked accordingly with what I thought my blonde hair would look semi nice flowing over.

Evidently Pepper's inviting quite a few more people over and making an entire scene of this, and if there's one thing I know about the events that Pepper organizes, it's that they're always breathtaking and extravagant.

Though Stark tower's technically walking distance away from me, I take a taxi to it—throwing on my nicest black trench coat on my way out. The man at the front desk nods slightly and wishes me a happy birthday as I walk up, and I take a deep breath as I ride up alone in the elevator.

I start hearing the music even before the doors open, and the sound of people—lots of people. I raise a brow for a moment, wondering if even the vastness of Stark Tower could handle that many people. The elevator comes to a stop, and the doors open with a quiet 'ding.'

I look out into the crowd standing dispersedly across the flat—talking, laughing, and eating. Immediately, I gape inwardly at how nice they're all dressed. I'd wondered if maybe I had overdressed a bit, but it seems I actually _under_ dressed. There's a hell of a lot more jewelry and other accessories in this room than I'd prepared for.

"Lady Cerys!" I hear Thor's voice, and a smile explodes on my face as I turn and see him coming over to me. "Happy birthday, dear friend!" he says, throwing his arms around me for a hug.

"Thank you!" I say, laughing gleefully a bit as he lifts me off the ground enthusiastically, and sets me down.

"Happy birthday, Cerys!" Sif says as she comes up behind Thor—followed by Heimdall. Sif is wearing an elegant red dress, and the guys are wearing suits.

One by one, they all give me a hug, and shower me with kind birthday wishes and gifts. A beautiful scarf from Sif, a pair of dancing shoes from Thor, and a very fancy bottle of perfume from Heimdall. I recoil shyly just a bit, not knowing how to express my deep gratitude for it all. I must've said a million thank-you's in the scope of ten minutes.

"Is..." I pause, glancing around. "Is Loki here?" I ask them.

"Oh he's here somewhere," says Thor. "I'm sure he'll find you at some point, he always does."

I laugh, raising a shoulder. "Well we'll see, I suppose."

Tony's voice suddenly bursts behind me. "BIRTHDAY GIIIIIIIIRL!" he exclaims, making me jump.

I laugh as I turn and see him walking over, with Pepper just behind him, and his arms open wide—wearing a silver suit. "Tony!!!" I raise my arms in turn and go in for yet another a hug.

"Happy birthday, kid!" he says as he pulls away, handing me a small box. "Open it," he says excitedly—not letting Pepper get a word in quite yet.

I chuckle as I watch her roll her eyes, and look down to unravel the paper surrounding the box—gaping at a small, elegant-looking smart watch inside.

"Oh my gosh, Tony!" I smile up at him. "This is fantastic, thank you so much!"

"My turn yet!?" Pepper steps forward and throws her arms around me next, with a big, wide, happy smile. "Happy birthday, bestie!"

"Aw, Pep... thank you so much for everything," I squeeze her super tight—trying to convey just how grateful I am.

"There's nothing to thank me for!" she says emphatically as she steps back.

"No, there is, you're the best friend anyone could ask for," I respond earnestly, gesturing around the room. "With or without all this, it's the thought you put into everything that really matters to me, and I appreciate it so much."

Pepper knits her brows together and tilts her head, smiling warmly at me. "And that's exactly why you deserve this," she says, handing a small envelope to me. "Happy birthday, Cer."

I smile as I take the envelope from her, trying to hide the fact that I probably know what's inside. The flap isn't closed, so I just un-fold it and pull out a plane ticket with my name on it—to Geneva, Switzerland, for December 22nd.

"Switzerland!!!" I cry out emphatically, raising an open hand up surprisedly to my face—pulling my smile to the sides, as wide as I possibly can without tearing my cheeks. "This is _amazing,_ Pep!!!"

Pepper smiles suspiciously as she raises a brow. "You're a good actress Cer, but I know—Thor let the cat out of the bag."

Still smiling, I look over at Thor's guilty expression, and cringe regretfully before laughing. "Yeeaaaaaaah," I say. "He kinda did—but it doesn't matter! This is still incredible."

"I was actually going to tell you about it much sooner, so you'd have time to get the days off from work—until _somebody_ told me that you already know," she says, looking over at him.

"There's the bright side to it though, right!?" I say.

"That's right—gotta see the bright side in things," she nods. "Come on, let's get some drinks!"

I scurry off with Pepper to get some food, which is lining a bunch of the counters throughout the flat. We grab a couple of small plates and fill them with an assortment of small pieces—small, but filling after I've scarfed down a few dozen. After a long while of talking with some of the other guests at the party, including some other Asgardians, I eventually make my way over to the balcony to get some air.

I sigh deeply, taking in the coldness of the air. It's getting close to midnight, and I should probably head out soon.

I hear the door opening off to the side, and turn my head slowly, seeing a tall, lean figure approaching from the shadows. As he steps out from them, I recognize his all-black suit and emerald green eyes—illuminated from the side, by the light from the apartment.

Loki.

"Lady Cerys," he nods as he strides over to me with his hands behind his back.

"Loki," I grin. "Good to see you."

"Likewise," he says as he steps over to my side.

"Someone told me you'd find me eventually."

"Can't say I was looking, but I suppose it was bound to happen," he says with a grin, looking out at the glinting city lights.

I press my lips together and bob my head amusedly, looking back at the skyscrapers. "I suppose so."

Silence hardens around us for a moment, until Loki suddenly shifts over and leans against the glass on his side—holding out a small box to me, with a little green bowtie on top. I turn my head, seeing his contented expression before my eyes drop down to the box.

"Happy birthday, my dear," he says, and I blink up at him surprisedly. Something in my chest flutters as his voice replays in my head—' _my dear.'_

"Thank you," I say, and reach over and take the box out of his hand slowly, feeling the warmth of his fingers as they brush against mine. I glance at him as I loosen the tie, and open the box.

My eyes widen immediately at the beautiful, white-gold bracelet inside. I take out a small certificate that came with it—certifying the bright, glimmering diamonds embedded along the delicate design.

This is probably more expensive than the plane tickets to Switzerland...

"Holy crap, I..." I shake my head slightly. " _I can't accept this_ ," I whisper.

I've never been given a gift like this, not even by a boyfriend. Not even my most serious boyfriends, that I might've anticipated something like this from—even then, it'd make me feel uneasy to know they'd spent so much money on me.

"Why not?" he asks in a casual tone.

I look up at him. "It's... It's too much."

 _"Hm,_ " he chuckles, and turns to face the city—reaching out and gently laying a hand on my waist, nudging me toward the railing as well. "It seems you've much to learn in the ways of gift-giving."

I inhale lightly at the touch, feeling... almost a bit uncomfortable. Contrary to what I thought I'd feel. 

The gift, the subtle touches... the remark about gift giving? I've no idea what any of it is supposed to mean. And I just got my heart broken by someone who only wanted so much out of me. Of course, Loki hasn't outwardly admitted to any attraction at all, so... I guess that means he won't be bothered by my stepping away from his touch...

A small step isn't enough to break the contact, so I turn away entirely—pacing down the balcony a bit as I look down at the bracelet, while a cold breeze lifts the hair off my shoulders.

I turn and look back up at him warmly. "This really is beautiful, Loki," I gesture to the bracelet, and he watches me with a blank look. "This isn't the sort of gift I'd give someone that I don't care about—so it means a lot to me."

Moments pass as he stares at me contemplatively, and I can practically see the thoughts trickling across his expression. Tension flickers across his brow, and then clears—allowing the blankness to return to his face.

"It's your birthday, and I gave you the gift that I saw fit to give," he says, stepping back from the railing. "Nothing more."

My jaw drops slightly as I watch him turn and head back toward the door—certainly not the response I was expecting, even though I didn't have one particularly in mind. I continue to stand here awkwardly for a moment, keeping my eyes on him as he heads back inside and disappears into the crowd.

I look down at the ground where he was standing, narrowing my eyes. That whole encounter was both pleasant and unpleasant.

I bob my head. " _Alright,_ " I mumble quietly to myself. "That answers that."


	15. Chapter 15

Today's the day. Or rather, tonight is _the_ night—it's time to go to Switzerland.

Ordinarily, I give myself about an hour to get ready before going anywhere. When I have to board a plane, however, someone could beat me with a red hot poker and I still wouldn't bother with any of it. I was also told not to sleep the night before, so I would sleep on the plane and reduce my jet lag suffering somewhat.

We're at the airport now, and it's sometime around 7 PM. Despite the bright lights shining on our faces, I find myself drifting in and out of sleep. It looks like everyone else followed the instructions too—Thor's snoring, Heimdall's drifting in and out of shuteye, Sif is sleeping silently, and Loki's just sitting next to me, looking extra dour.

Pepper and Tony seem to be handling it just fine in the black chairs across from us, though—both wide awake and good to go. Maybe because they're used to flying so much?

"Group A," the intercom comes on in our gate. "Boarding now. Group A, please come to the front."

"That's us," Tony exhales heavily as he stands from the chair—maybe he's tired after all.

Heimdall nudges Thor awake, and Loki stands beside me. I rub the sleep out of my eyes momentarily, and feel a small knot forming in my stomach as I turn and look out the massive window, at our plane—the enormous, transatlantic plane parked at the terminal... And thanks to that, I no longer need help getting sleep to leave me.

Our seats are at the front of the plane—first class. Tony and Pepper are in two pairs of seats to the right, while myself, Thor, and Loki are in the middle. Sif and Heimdall are lastly situated to the far left.

As the rest of the passengers board the plane, I'm busy finding my first movie selection on the screen in front of me—landing on National Treasure. Also known as the most airplane-esque movie in the history of movies being played on airplanes.

Once everyone's found their seats, I exhale nervously when the engine finally begins to hum. I knit my brows together as I turn and look past Loki's profile—squeezing the donut pillow between my jaw and shoulder as I peer out the window past Heimdall and Sif, where lamps are illuminating the darkened ground outside.

Meanwhile, Sif and Heimdall are already fast asleep. I glance back to my right, seeing that Thor's asleep now too, and so is Pepper. Tony's the only one left awake, reading something on a tablet that's casting a dim light against his face.

"Here we go..." I whisper quietly as I turn back to the window.

In the seat next to me, Loki raises a brow and follows my eyes to it for a moment, before dropping his exhausted gaze back down to the book in his hands. As the seatbelt sign comes on, the plane suddenly comes to life with movement, and I swallow hard as I watch the ground roll forward as we back out of the terminal. The rest of the lights in the cabin flicker off, leaving just the dim little lamps shining down on our faces from overhead.

Loki closes the book and tucks it between himself and the leather seat, next to the little bar that also separates our seats just a bit. I watch as he exhales lightly through his nostrils and leans back against the headrest—closing his eyes.

But my eyes aren't closed—not even close. I'm tired as hell, but my eyes are glued on the window, watching the bright lights on the ground leading the plane to the takeoff point. I squeeze the leather handle, feeling my nervousness rise as the plane stops—and the engine hums loudly. Not a second later, the plane starts speeding forward down the driveway.

My breath is shaky as it comes out, and Loki's brow flickers before he opens his eyes and rolls his head slightly toward the side—looking at me. "Alright there?" he asks quietly.

I nod. "Yeah," I whisper as I look up at him—seeing the pale, green color of his eyes being illuminated by the lamp from above. I gasp as the slope of the ground inclines, and pressure weighs down on my head as we ascend into the air. 

"I just," I pause shakily. "...Don't like flying very much."

Loki bobs his head understandingly. "Have a care if you feel the need to vomit, I believe the lavatory is just behind us," he whispers sarcastically.

Normally I'd protest, but I'm too busy feeling jumpy at every little turn and shake that the plane is making. A sudden snore to my right startles me a bit, and I shake my head briskly as I fumble around with the headphones—connecting them to the screen.

Suddenly, I hear Loki's voice again, following a light exhale. "What are you watching?" he asks tonelessly, though quietly.

I turn my head toward him. "National Treasure," I whisper.

"Tell me about it," he murmurs commandingly, rolling his head toward me.

I hold his gaze briefly, trying to understand the motive while he continues peering at me blankly. Is he trying to distract me?

"Well," I take a deep breath, and remove the pillow from around my neck—leaning my head back against the chair and looking toward him. "It's about a man who decides to steal the Declaration of Independence, to stop another man from stealing it first, and ruining the document in search of a treasure."

As the plane shifts with a leftward turn, a thought passes over his eyes—which are glimmering in the light of the screen as he glances at it, and then back at me. "And what is this Declaration?"

I pause, contemplating his words. A thankful grin tugs ever so slightly on the corner of my lips, and I lean against the leather side of my chair—he _is_ trying to distract me.

"It's a document that was signed when the thirteen colonies declared themselves independent of England," I whisper, glancing at the stewardess coming up the isle. "It was the beginning of the United States, in a way."

"Pillow and blanket?" she offers as she steps up to our row, and I nod.

"Thank you," Loki says, taking a pair from her, and handing one of each to me.

"Thank _you,_ " I say, smiling up at him as I take them from him. I part my lips for a brief instant, then close them again hesitantly—watching as he tucks his blanket away and lays the pillow behind his head. "Do you..." I pause. "Want to watch this with me?"

Loki looks back up at me with a raised brow, and blinks contemplatively as he glances at the screen and back. "Yes."

I smile as I remove my right earbud and hand it to him. His fingers are warm as they brush against mine, and he sits still for a moment as I open up the blanket and throw it over myself, pulling my knees against my chest and cuddling up against the chair. Loki simply shifts closer in his, and leans his head against the backside—nestling the earbud into his right ear.

I glance over at him one last time before hitting play, seeing him blink exhaustively. "It's okay if you're tired," I whisper to him.

"I'm not tired," he responds bluntly, and continues peering at the screen. "Play your film."

"Alright," I say softly, and his eyes flicker toward me briefly in response.

I turn and lean forward, reaching out to press the small 'play' button on the screen. The light coming from it illuminates the darkness surrounding us only slightly, and I relish the peacefulness as we sit and watch the movie.

Somewhere halfway through it, the plane is up to cruising speed, and the turbulence is almost nonexistent—since we're above the Atlantic now. Sleep is starting to overtake me, and I glance over at Loki—who's been motionless throughout the duration of the film. I blink surprisedly when I see that he's fast asleep, though his head is still leaning on the side of the chair—where he'd first situated to watch the movie.

The changing scenes cast different lights and shadows across his face, and I find myself staring at him—at his peaceful, angular face resting silently. I can't help but wonder how long he's been asleep, how long he's been tolerating the sounds blaring into his right ear from the movie.

I tilt my head slightly as I look over him—feeling confident enough in his deep sleep to do so—and realize suddenly how handsome he really is. His sharp jaw, high cheekbones, and naturally contemplative eyes. Even in his sleep, he seems deep in thought.

To think he'd given me a diamond bracelet—which, of course, I brought with me to wear at some point.

I press my lips together gently as I reach up with one hand, trying not to wake him as I pull the earbud gently out of his ear. The backs of my fingers brush against his cheek by accident, and I note the subtle roughness of his skin as I pull my hand back. The film continues on to my right, and my gaze momentarily flickers down to his relaxed lips.

 _No._ A self-protective instinct pulses through me before I even get the chance to consider their softness, and I inhale lightly as I look away—feeling the color rush to my cheeks.

I shake my head briskly and lean back against the chair, forcing the thoughts out of my head as I stare ahead at the movie... Letting my eyes grow heavy with each subsequent scene, until I'm finally asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to drop this additional little thank-you to those of you who've left me kudos and comments! Sometimes I'll read comments just before going to bed, and then end up staying up later to keep writing because knowing that someone's looking forward to the next chapter makes me look forward to it too. That rush of excitement makes this whole process so much fun, so thank you! :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I know I posted earlier today, but... in thinking about the kind comments and kudos I received, I decided to sit down and write this next chapter tonight as well. :) As my personal thanks and show of appreciation to you all. If you don't read this tonight, then I hope it brightens up your mornings/days a little bit tomorrow! Sleep tight! :)

A bout of turbulence jolts me awake, and I inhale sharply as I sit up from the leather chair, looking around me. Three heads turn toward me—Thor, Pepper, and Heimdall. I give them a tired smile as I yawn, and plop back against my seat. I look over to my left, at the rising sun in the window, and movement in the bottom corner of my eye catches my attention. I look over to see Loki flipping a page of his book, and drop my gaze down to it for a moment.

"Is there a reason you're breathing over my shoulder?" he asks sternly without looking at me.

My eyes widen as I knit my brows together offendedly, and turn away without a word—feeling a tight sting in my chest. To my right, I see Thor turn his head slowly toward Loki. I look over and meet his confused expression equally with my own, while a stewardess comes around with a tray of breakfast for everyone—scrambled eggs, yogurt, a croissant, and coffee.

I put on an episode of Big Bang Theory while eating, and am halfway through tearing apart the croissant when an announcement pauses the screen,

"Good morning ladies and gentleman, this is your captain. Just checking in to let you all know that we'll be landing in Geneva in approximately thirty minutes. We'll be starting our descent in a bit here, so we'll be putting on the 'fasten seatbelt' sign in a few minutes. The weather in Geneva is cloudy skies, we're anticipating a smooth landing and an otherwise snowy day. Thank you again for flying with us, we'll be on the ground soon."

I let out a steady breath at the words 'smooth landing,' but it doesn't last—the landing is anything but smooth, really. At least, not what I imagined smooth would be. Turbulent, and seemingly longer than it should be.

I squeeze the leather handle of my chair with another bump and see Loki stiffen, holding the corner of a page as he glances down at my hand—then me—in my peripheral vision. His eyes jump up to my face as well—with a slight, upward turn of his head—but I continue staring ahead, and even turn my gaze slightly to the right.

"Good morning, Lady Cerys," says Thor with a cordial nod.

My eyes dart over to Thor and I grin warmly. "Good morning to _you_! I'd ask how you slept, but you looked pretty peaceful all night."

Thor chuckles slightly, and rubs his brow with his right thumb. "Yes, well... I prefer the comforts of a bed, but this was far from the least comfortable set of circumstances I've slept in."

I snort imperceptibly. "Yeah, well, who doesn't like the comforts of a bed?" I say amusedly, and pause for a brief instant as we exchange amused glances, and break out in a quiet chuckle.

As I turn to look back at the screen, I notice two things—the seatbelt sign is on, and Loki's fingers haven't left the corner of the page.

~

With Christmas just around the corner, it seems that everyone's flying in and out to be with their families. The airport is bustling endlessly with people, and the roads even more so. Tony and Pepper were able to get us through customs quickly, but it takes almost an hour for us to get to our 'abode'—a beautifully furnished, enormous AirbnB flat with rooms for every single one of us, and a gorgeous view of the snowcapped mountains etched across the tall window overlooking the living area.

My jaw drops straight to the floor at the sight of it all—the coziest, most amazing interior I've ever seen in my life. The large, circular window revealing the mountains is surrounded by smaller windows near the ceiling—likely meant for letting in additional light—just above a set of towering bookshelves. Puffy sofas line the sides of a walkway leading from the window to a fireplace on the other side of the room, while an elegant, wooden coffee table lines the length between those as well. I could swear a little hint of a squeak escapes my throat as soon as I lay eyes on the blankets littering the sofas.

I grab Pepper by the arm as she walks past me, and lean toward her—whispering quietly as I continue looking around the rustic room. "This had to have costed you a fortune..."

She shrugs. "Good thing we have one, right?"

My eyes dart over to meet hers. "I feel like I need to contribute to this..."

Pepper knits her brows together and shakes her head. "No, don't worry about it. Tony picked this place, and he'll make enough to compensate the cost for our entire trip in about..." she pauses, glancing at her watch demonstrably. "Two hours? In the meantime, you should go and try to pick a room before everyone else does."

I watch as she walks off, before trailing my gaze over to the hallway beside the kitchen, in the far left corner. This whole place has one giant open-floor plan, and it's hard to believe that someone might live here casually—never mind the fact that this building has enough width to cover the floorspace of all these rooms.

While the others explore the living area, my eyes narrow as I see that Loki's almost reached the hallway, and I pick up my luggage—scurrying across the wooden floor, and past him. I stop just a few steps into the hallway, and hear his footsteps also stop as soon as I'm in front of him. A glimmer of mischief crosses my thoughts as I pause for a moment, and look back at his blank expression over my shoulder.

I raise a brow in mock disapproval of his staring at my backside. " _Is there a reason you're breathing over my shoulder?_ " I croon sarcastically, swaying my head slightly with a grin pulling at my lip.

Loki's eyes narrow in turn as he presses his lips together, pulling the corners of his mouth downward in restraint. Before I know it, he's walking toward me—more like _at_ me, actually—forcing me forward as his eyes begin jumping between the open doors on either sides of me.

I turn sharply, realizing that he's on his way to lay claim to a room, and start looking through the doors myself as I pace briskly down the hallway. A hint of a chuckle twinges in my chest as I hear his footsteps pick up behind me, and I look back and grin at the dour expression he's trying to force.

I pass by a giant bathroom to my left, and then look over to see the room I'm going to take—the one at the end of the hallway. I can't even fully see what the interior looks like, but Loki seems to be headed toward it without stopping, and a playful impulse is pressing me to get to it first.

A little bit of a laugh breaks out in my throat as I scurry over the threshold first, with my luggage sliding past me on the wooden floor. I turn and look up at him from the threshold, leaning victoriously against the frame as I close the door halfway.

The forcefulness in his expression dissipates a bit as he glares at me with a hint of annoyance. "I'd like this room," he says, and I'm pleased to note that I can't hear the annoyance in his voice at all—he's having fun, even if he doesn't want to show it.

I tilt my head as I step closer to him—leaving my luggage in the room. "Well," I say with a heavy, sarcastic exhale, and Loki visibly stiffens as I take a tiny step toward him out the door. "And I'd like you to be nicer to me," I pause, and his eyes flicker downward as an amused smile plasters across my face.

I raise a hand up to my nose and tap it lightly with my index finger. "Maybe next time," I say, and step back into the room—closing the door just in time to see the corner of his mouth twitch. 

I smile as my hands remain pressed against the wooden door for a moment, and a cheerful lightness stirs in my chest as I turn slowly and look around the room. It's just as rustic as the rest of the apartment, and the bed looks large and welcoming.

Everything is well-kept and beautiful. From the generously pillowed bed, to the ornate desk nestled under the window, to the bookshelves and forest paintings lining the walls on either sides of me. To top it off, the vastness of the window itself allows a considerable amount of light into the room from off to the right—along with yet another gorgeous view of the mountains.

This is going to be amazing.


	17. Chapter 17

* * *

Taking a nap in the middle of the day always feels so strange. Some part of me wakes up feeling like it's the next day, especially if it's a long, deep nap—like the one I just took. It was December 23rd when I fell asleep, and December 23rd when I woke up amidst the cornucopia of pillows and blankets on this ginormous bed.

It's already getting dark outside, and with the onset of darkness has come an announcement—we ladies are going out. Sif, Pepper, and myself. Just for drinks mostly, to check out the surrounding neighborhood—no one really has the energy for much else. The men, especially, are firmly rooted on the couches out in the living area, in front of a massive fire that they must've started while I was still asleep.

This of course, has prompted me to take a shower and bring myself back to a semi-presentable state.

"What's the point?" Pepper asks, standing next to me in the bathroom—looking at her reflection from over the counter, as 'Radioactive' by Imagine Dragons plays from her phone. Sif is leaning against the frame behind us, looking a little uncertain as her gaze passes between us from behind.

"Well you never know who you might meet," I say. "And I'm freshly single, so... I might mingle, if the occasion calls for it."

"Yeah but, you're not planning on going home with anyone, are you?" Pepper asks.

"Oh no—no, not at all," I say earnestly, shaking my head. "But do you remember that friend of mine, Sarah? She met her boyfriend while she was in Barcelona, and they're getting married soon—I mean, assuming all the stuff with his crazy ex-girlfriend goes away."

"Ahhh," Pepper nods. "You're talking about the one that tried to rope him into moving back in with her, huh?"

"Thaaat's the one," I say absently as I brush my curls out and let them drape over my shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Sif interjects behind us. "I'm not quite sure I understand this custom—at least, I'm not quite understanding why you two are treating this outing so ritualistically."

"It practically _is_ a ritual. We're not even getting into the full scope of it tonight," I say laughingly, turning toward her as I lean against the counter with my arms crossed over my shapely trench coat. "Usually we'd be getting _so_ dolled up. Looking our absolute best, assigning designated drivers..." my voice trails off.

"And you anticipate... meeting people, in such outings?"

I bob my head to the side, wondering whether the culture on Asgard is really so different from Midgard that they don't have 'girls' nights.' 

"In a way," I say with a nod. "If you're single, you can mingle and talk to people, see if you meet anyone that catches your interest."

"And if you're _not_ single," Pepper remarks sarcastically. "You can get smacked upside the head by your friends."

I smile, and raise a finger in the air. "Yup—the good ones'll set you straight," I say.

Pepper turns to me—eyes widened with amusement. "And the _best_ ones," she croons emphatically. "Will shove your butt toward the cutest guy in the room."

I nod in agreement and look back at Sif. "This is also known as being a wingman!" I say to her.

Her lips are parted in an entertained expression, but all in all, she continues staring at me bemusedly. "Right," she murmurs. "I'm not sure how I'll fare in all this, but we'll see."

"You'll fare just fine—we're not going crazy tonight," says Pepper, picking up her phone with a glimmer of mischief as she scrolls through it. "But next time, we're kicking up the background music a notch..."

A smile breaks out on her expression as she sets it back down, with 'Tonight I'm Loving You' blaring from it, by Enrique Iglesias. I cringe—inwardly and outwardly—as I look over at my pop-loving best friend, and she proceeds to laugh at the combined amusement and disapproval etched over my face.

" _Goddamn_ , Pep..." I laugh as I turn back toward the mirror and pick up my lipstick.

"Hey, you goddamn love it, and you know yuo do," she says. "You're just putting on a face for the new girl!"

 _"New girl's not ready for Enrique Iglesias,"_ I mumble earnestly.

"What is this, exactly?" Sif asks, half-smiling behind us.

"It's a song about..." I pause. "Adult things."

"I'm not sure I understand," she says.

The corners of my mouth curl upward as I do my best to restrain a laugh as I lean forward, opening the lipstick in my hands. 

" _I know you want me,"_ the lyrics begin, and Pepper and I mutter along to the song, swaying along with it as we go—both trying not to laugh. " _I made it obvious that I want you too, so put it on me. Let's remove the space between me and you. Now rock your body, ohh ohhh. Damn I like the way that you move, so give it to me. 'Cause I already know what you want to do."_

As the chorus starts, we step back from the counter—enveloped by our own upbeat energy—flailing our limbs just a smidge too enthusiastically to the beat.

" _Here's the situation, between to every nation, nobody's ever made me feel the way that you move..."_ I narrow my eyes and smile at the mirror as a pulse of hot energy rushes through me, envisioning the seemingly perfect stranger that would sweep me off my feet for the night, and give meaning to the song. " _You know my motivation, given my reputation... Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude, but tonight I'm loving you..._ "

I laugh as the energy simmers down, in time for me to notice Loki through the mirror, briskly stalking past the bathroom hallway, just behind Sif. He doesn't stop to look at us, and in the brief instant that I see him, I notice that he's holding the back of his hand up against his mouth—with some hardened expression on his face.

Sif blinks as she looks behind her, and furrows a brow as she looks down the hallway, where Loki'd went. "Everything alright?" she asks.

The three of us flinch at one of the doors suddenly slamming shut.

~

Loki's strange outburst didn't seem to have much of an effect on Sif or Pepper, but it had definitely left its impression on me. We were pretty much done getting ready by the time it happened, and they still expressed an interest to go out and explore the surrounding area just a bit.

It was snowing when we'd flown in, and there's a nice layer of powder lining the small streets and corners all around us—granted, though, that the walking areas are also laden with muddy footprints. We stop at a little pub barely two blocks away, and take a seat at one of the tall tables out on the pub's main porch—the perfect place for people watching, as they pass by us and chatter amongst themselves in different languages. We've been here for about thirty minutes now, and a waiter had come by to take our orders moments ago—from Pepper mostly, since she's evidently picked up a thing or two about French and other languages in her travels with Tony.

By the time he gets back with the three beers we'd ordered, Sif and Pepper are knee-deep in conversation about Sif's assimilation into Midgardian life, and how her other Asgardian friends have been taking to it as well.

Me, on the other hand—I'm bouncing and out of the conversation, and otherwise pondering whether or not we'll find out what had upset Loki so much when we get home. 'Upset' may not even be the right word for it—he looked... _ill._

"Cer?" Pepper's voice suddenly reels me back to the conversation.

" _Hmm?_ " I widen my eyes questioningly.

"What do you think?"

I pause. "Uhm... I'm sorry, I spaced out—what're you guys talking about?"

"We were talking about scholarships for the Asgardians."

 _Huh._ Guess they strayed a little since I'd last zoned into the conversation. "Oh," I pause, as uncertainty fills my expression. I hadn't been listening to their conversation entirely, and constructing an opinion so quickly under their watch is... not quite working.

"Are you okay?" Pepper asks.

"Yeah," I sigh, waving a hand in the air. "I just... I was actually thinking about Loki, from earlier."

Both of them stiffen slightly as I glance between them. "Thinking about him how?" Pepper asks.

"Well I'm just wondering what's going on with him at home right now, he seemed a little off."

"Lady Cerys," Sif says, rolling her eyes forward as she takes a sip of beer. "In light of this occasion between us three, if I may offer you some advice—do not concern yourself too deeply with Loki. He's no good for it."

I tilt my head, eyes widening at her sudden bluntness. "What do you mean?"

I watch as her throat bobs, as she swallows the beer. "I mean it would be wise to keep a distance from him. You'll not find whatever it is you're looking for in him."

I blink surprisedly at her, and shake my head. "I never said I was looking for anything in him," I say defensively.

"Well," she says in a gentle tone—almost like she's being careful not to seem too threatening. "I'm telling you either way—I wouldn't advise allowing him to cross your thoughts in any sort of manner."

I pause for a moment, narrowing my eyes at her. "Did something happen between you two?"

She snorts, and my expression relaxes at the sudden casualness in her tone. "Gods, no," she says. "I just know him—and Thor—very well. Thor loves his brother, but... the rest of us don't always get on with Loki."

Pepper parts her lips to speak, but I beat her to the punch. "Why not?" I jump to ask the question before she can intervene.

Sif grins as she glances at Pepper, seeing the reluctance in her expression to continue the conversation. "All I can tell you, Cerys, is that he's unpredictable—and a lack of predictability doesn't spell for stable relationships of any kind. Not even with those of us that have known him since our childhoods."

"Oh," I say, feeling my cheeks prickle with color.

"Guys," Pepper interjects, and I look over to see a hint of forcefulness in her face—directly mostly toward Sif. "Let's not talk about this—Loki's a strange guy, we all know this," I narrow my eyes at the strange, rolling tone in her voice as she bulldozes through the train of thought. "But let's just not focus on it—tomorrow's Christmas Eve, we should be thinking positive. And we also need to talk about what we're going to cook for dinner," she looks back at Sif. "What you mentioned earlier in the airport was actually a good idea, and I was thinking..."

Her voice trails off in my mind as I look between them for a moment, and a hint of suspicion rises in my chest at Pepper's unusually tenacious aim to end the conversation—and in such a scatterbrained manner, no less. If she had even the slightest inkling that I had some interest in someone, usually she'd be pouring over me with questions and conversation. Encouragement, even—as soon as everything I told her about the guy checked out in her list of approved qualities of a decent person.

I glance at Sif—maybe it's because she's here? I exhale lightly through my nostrils as I look down at my beer, lifting it to take a sip. I'll ask her about it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just want to give you a heads up-I'm going to write and post as much as I can this coming week, but it may take me a few days to write in between chapters because I'm officially in finals week. :( I'll mostly be writing in my downtime, and I'll do my best for you all. Please do bear with me if it takes a few days to post, it's super high stakes for me right now because I'm in my graduating term in college, and passing my finals is a priority. As always, thank you all so much for your incredibly kind words, and thank you for reading. :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	18. Chapter 18

Every had gone to bed by the time Pepper, Sif, and I got home. I hadn't been enjoying the night as much after our strange conversation, and the troublesome thoughts didn't abate when we were back at the flat.

Pepper's strange demeanor was especially unsettling—I've never seen her try so actively to change the subject, or push her way from one point to the next in a conversation. Something about the topic clearly bothered her, though she seemed like she was under the impression that I'd taken the bait, and moved on.

But I didn't, and I haven't. Even now, laying amidst the soft pillows strewn around me. The blankets are thick and warm, and the hum of the heater is soothing, but I still haven't been able to get any rest. I glance over at the clock on the nightstand to my left—2:31 AM, show the little green, glowing digits.

And I'm wide awake—I have been, for almost two hours now. It's hard to say whether this is from jet lag, or if the nap I'd taken earlier gave me some extra reserves of energy. After a few more minutes of lying motionlessly, I finally sigh heavily and throw the blanket off of me, and slide my legs off the side of the bed.

I glance at the warm robe that's draping over the chair in the corner, and stride over to take it before exiting the room. The door shuts rather abruptly behind me, and I wince—cursing myself for underestimating how loud it would close behind me as I look down the darkened hallway. I let out a breath at the lack of sound and movement, and continue on to the living area.

All the rustic colors of the decor have faded to a pale, blue tint under the light of the moon pouring in from the window, and the stillness of it all is already lulling me into relaxedness. I glance at the bookshelves on either side of it, and my footsteps thump lightly against the hardwood floor as I pace toward them across the room.

My shoulders drop disappointedly as I near them—the light from the window may have been enough to read, but I'm realizing now that these corners of the room are too dark for me to even see the titles on their spines. And I'm not about to disrupt this peaceful night by letting in more light.

I sigh, and turn away from them as I head toward the couches, and plop down against the furthest corner of the one on my left—on the far side of the fireplace, nearest to the door. I sink into the cushions comfortably, and scoot down until my head is leaning against the armrest at an angle that lets me stare right up at the moon—which is looming in the topmost part of the window.

Slowly, my mind begins to run amok, and all the questions of the day start pouring back in—just like they did when I was in bed. Except this time, they're going further back—back to when I'd spent a few nights at the Asgardians' home. Loki's home.

Every interaction between us starts to pass through my thoughts, and I grin as I remember my first night in his home—it was dark and tranquil, just like this one. And I remember how I'd run into Loki on my way out of the bathroom. How I felt a twinge of guilt when he said he'd 'felt' my humming, and that it woke him up.

My hair scratches against the armrest as I turn and peer at the hallway. Loki's there, now. Sleeping. Loki, the Asgardian... The norse god. The weirdo. I wonder whether he'd hear me now, if I hummed a little. Or prayed—he is a god, isn't he? That'd be an interesting experiment.

My head shakes almost automatically.

 _Don't wake the poor man up. It's so rude. Then again..._ My eyes narrow as the conversation goes on in my head. _He hasn't exactly been the picture of courtesy, and... I do want to see him, just a little bit._

Tension flickers in my chest as soon as the thought crosses my mind. I've been staring at the empty hallway for almost a minute now, and it's only now occurring to me that the only recurring thought that's been passing through my mind, is the image of Loki appearing in it.

I shut my eyes tightly and roll my head back forward, and open them again to look up into the night sky.

I really shouldn't be thinking of him—or anyone—like that right now. Fresh out of one heartbreak, and already trying to jump into another. Not that Loki's given me any indication that that's what it would lead to, but Sif definitely has—and maybe that's what Pepper was trying to do as well, in her own way. She has known the Asgardians longer than I have, after all.

On top of which, really, Loki hasn't given me any indication of being interested either. He seems to be a nice person, underneath that strange facade of his—but that's the extent of it.

Perhaps it's not even Loki—perhaps it's just the distraction from my own heartbreak that's been so alluring. A way to mute the lingering sting of Daniel's betrayal. And if that's the case, then this is fine—a passing infatuation.

My chest relaxes with the thought, as my eyes fill with the light of the moon. A pale, lonely light—one that's relentlessly coaxing the curiosity that I've been trying to sate. Would he hear me, if I said a prayer? How long has it been, anyway, since someone prayed to him—if at all? Centuries?

 _Well, Loki,_ the words pass between my lips in breathy whispers. _I'd tell you if you were here... That if you went to bed early tonight, you definitely missed out on this moon._

I tilt my head slightly against the couch. That's as close to a prayer as I've come in a very long time. Even my own breathing stops for a few moments as I listen for signs of movement—none come.

 _Alright—curiosity sated._ I exhale contentedly through my nostrils and rise from the couch.

At the sound of a door opening from somewhere down the hall, I stop mid-step—eyes widened—and my lips part surprisedly as I hear the door close again.

 _Shit—is that Loki!?_ My eyes dart aimlessly from left to right as my pulse races, half from nervousness, and half excitement, and I follow the first impulse that courses through my body—jump back onto the couch as quietly as possible and pretend to be asleep.

It's taking every bit of self-control in my body to keep my eyes close, and face icy when I hear heavy footsteps trailing across the wooden floors—out into the living area. They head straight toward me with obvious purpose—stopping right beside the couch.

"Stop pretending you're asleep," I hear Loki's baritone voice.

Now I'm tapping into my willpower reserves to keep from laughing as I press my lips together, and open my eyes—turning my head toward him slowly. And there he is—tall and lean in his grey and plaid pajamas, with a blank expression etched over his face, standing on the other side of the coffee table.

Everything about him has taken the same blue tint as the rest of the room, and his complexion is even paler in the moonlight. And his eyes.... They're no longer green, not in the light being cast down across them from the window—they're icy.

The corners of my mouth twist downward as I grit my teeth awkwardly. "I wasn't humming," I say.

"No," he says flatly. "But it seems you've taken to other means of waking me in the middle of the night."

My brows rise ever so slightly, and my cheeks flush at the vague implication that flashes across the sentence-processing center of my brain. I look away immediately— _damn my brain for going there_.

"Please," I snort quietly, trying to make a joke out of it. More for myself, than anything else. "If I made it my mission to wake you up, you wouldn't be pissed about it."

I bite the inner lefthand corner of my lip imperceptibly as I continue looking up at the night sky. I don't know why I wanted him to come out here so badly—I'm so nervous now that he's here, standing there and watching me. I don't dare look up at him—and I don't know why I put myself in this situation in the first place. Don't know why I'm being so all around _stupid._ Letting a man make me nervous—again? God, I really need to get a grip.

Despite the tension, my eyelids are growing heavier with every blink, and that's when I realize—I don't need to get a grip, I need to get some _sleep._ My mother did always say that mornings are wiser than the evening. I can—and should—revisit this run-on thinking after I've gotten some sleep.

But... Loki's still standing there. I can see him in the corner of my eye.

I turn my head toward him, and my stomach flips as his eyes dart back up from looking over my form, to meet my gaze.

I part my lips hesitantly at first—but choose to ignore it. "Were you alright, earlier?" I ask. "Before we left, you looked like you weren't feeling well."

Loki blinks, and something softens in his expression. "Some momentary disorientation—nothing to be concerned about."

"That's good," I nod, and my hair brushes against my side as I sit up slowly from the couch. "I guess I'm... Sorry I woke you."

His eyes fall to the ground for a moment, and he looks to his left—at the couch opposite mine—and moves slowly to sit down on it. 

"It's alright," he says as he lowers himself down onto the cushions. "Though I can't help but wonder what it was you were trying to do. You sounded as though you were... _conversing_ with me. I first heard it when you mentioned my name."

A chuckle beats though my chest as the corners of my mouth curl upward in a grin. "Honestly," I say. "I was just thinking about things, and it occurred to me that you—all of you—are supposed to be gods. And, well... People pray to gods."

Loki's brows rise sharply. "So you..." he pauses. "Were trying to _pray_ to me."

I tear my eyes away from his amused expression, and look over at the snow-capped mountain peaks in the window. "Well," I sigh, trying not to laugh. "It sounds silly when you say it like that. I was just curious to see if anything would happen."

"And you decided to experiment with this in the middle of the night?"

A quiet laugh escapes my throat as I look back at him. "Well honestly, ninety-eight percent of me wasn't expecting anything to happen."

Loki's eyes narrow as he tilts his head to the side. "Why not?"

I shrug. "I don't know, I didn't give it that much thought. I just didn't expect it to happen."

A grin tugs on the corner of his mouth as he peers at me intently. "Well, ordinarily you would've been correct—we're not entirely gods, you see..."

I blink surprisedly. "No?"

"No," he says softly, shaking his head slightly.

My brows knit together as the realization dawns on me. "So... Why did it work, then?"

"I haven't fully deciphered that quite yet," his voice grows low as he peers at me intently. "I'll be sure to let you know when I do—if you refrain from waking me from this point forward," he adds mockingly. "By such unpleasant means."

My brows rise amusedly, and I inhale sharply as I pat the couch cushions on either side of me. "Ooookay, well," I whisper, letting the breath out as I stand—feigning exhaustion in my movements as I try to subdue the color flooding to my cheeks. I point to the hallway, and step toward it. "I'm just... going to go back to sleep now. Good night, Loki."

"Yes, that's for the best—good night Cerys," he says as he stands—just in time for me to be reminded of just how much he towers over me in stature as I walk by.

 _Damn it all._ I curse inwardly as I step past him, and shake my head briskly—trying to evict any and all thoughts as I stride toward the hallway, including the ones trying to convince me to consider where Loki's eyes are at the moment, since his footsteps are stalking just behind me.

At this point, no thoughts are better than endless rationalizations. Sleep is what I need, and sleep is all I'm going to focus on.

Even though his room is further down the hallway than mine, I only hear his door open by the time I reach mine. I turn the knob and step over the threshold, looking back once—expecting to see Loki waiting for me to turn and say goodnight. Instead, I see the door shutting behind him.

 _Probably for the best._ I exhale with relief, and close the door.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So I debated whether or not to write this Christmas chapter or not, but I decided it wouldn't hurt to let a little Yuletide spirit take over. Hope you like it, and good luck to everyone taking their finals as well!

It's Christmas Day. Well, Christmas morning to be exact, and I've already got my outfit ready on a chair in the corner of the room. I grab it as I wrap a robe around myself and head down the hallway to take a shower, noting the cheery, Christmas themed music already playing in the living room.

I'd take my time if I didn't think that there are six other people that might need the bathroom at any point—the shower pressure is just too nice. As is the shower itself, with its marble floors that match the counters. Beautiful.

I dry my hair off first, dousing it with product to retain the curls as I blow dry it gently, and put the outfit on as soon as I'm done: the only nice pair of thick, black leggings that I own, and a red crew sweatshirt with a reindeer on the front. The finishing touch? A pair of Christmas themed, knee-length fluffy socks, and I'm good to go.

As I head out to the living area, I glance to my left at movement in the kitchen—Pepper scurrying around frustratedly, surrounded by pots and pans of food, with Tony and Thor wandering around aimlessly around her with bowls and food in their hands. Thor, most notably, is carrying around a platter with a giant slab of ham.

As soon as she notices me, the frustration in her expression fades to relief, and she glares at me wide-eyed. "Merry Christmas," she sighs, and holds her hands up in surrender. "Please help me."

"Sure," I say laughingly as I step around the kitchen, gandering at the mess. "What happened here!?"

"Oh that would be us," Tony pivots toward me with a hand up. "We happened. Told her we should wait until you're up, but who the hell ever listens to me anyway?"

"Everyone listens to you, Tony," I raise a brow at him as I walk over, and take the casserole dish out of his hands—glancing between him and Thor. "Now _you two_ listen to _me_ , and go away so Pep and I can do this properly."

"Got it," Thor says, and sets the platter down without hesitation.

"Oh actually," says Pepper, glancing at it. "That's ready to go in the oven, so I'll ask you to do that first."

Thor grins agreeably. "Will do," he says, lifting it up again.

I look over at her to my right, and my eyes jump past her as I look around the room—Sif is sitting with her back to us on the nearest couch, watching something on the television mounted above the fireplace, but there's no sign of Loki or Heimdall. Looks like everyone else is up—where could they possibly be on Christmas morning?

" _Oh!_ " I turn back sharply to Thor and Tony. "Merry Christmas!" I smile as I throw my arms up and move in to hug them both.

"Merry Christmas," they say back, nearly in unison—but utterly diverging in levels of enthusiasm.

"Looks like everyone's here, except Heimdall and Loki?" I ask as I step back, and throw my head over to Sif for a moment. "Merry Christmas, Sif!" I call out to her.

With a sudden movement, she turns and looks back at me—before jumping up from the couch with a grin and heading over to the kitchen.

"I believe they're still asleep," Thor says, while Sif walks past him and gives me a hug.

"Merry Christmas, dear," she says over my shoulder briefly, before stepping back.

"Got it," I nod, and grin as I turn back to Pepper. "I guess it's just us." I say as I step up beside her, and the others head slowly back toward the couches. "What're we making?" I ask, glancing at the recipe she has open on her laptop.

" _I'm_ making a green bean casserole, but _you_ ," she says, and reaches over to the laptop—changing the tabs. "Are making a sweet potato casserole."

"Got it," I nod, and get to work beside her on the kitchen island—periodically heading over to the fridge to take out some ingredients. "We have everything we need, right?"

"Oh yeah—Tony and I went shopping yesterday while everyone was napping," she says. "But I knew he'd be useless for cooking any of it, I was just praying that you'd hurry and wake up..."

" _Hah,_ " I mumble under my breath, recalling my encounter with Loki last night—my own little moment of piety. " _Ironic..._ "

"What's ironic?"

I blink at her, and inhale sharply. "Nothing, don't worry about it—I'm gonna clear this space for myself, if that's okay," I say, gesturing to the mess of pots and pans littering the counter.   
  
"Go for it," she says.

"Great," I say, grabbing the two pots on the counter and turning away to set them in some other, unused corner of the kitchen. 

Loki appears in the hallway as I turn back to the counter, wearing a pear of black jeans, and a grey, button-down shirt. I nearly stop in my tracks as soon as I see him—actively reminding myself not to openly look him up and down when he's staring right back at me.

"Merry Christmas!" I say cheerfully.

A friendly grin tugs on the corner of his mouth as he nods responsively. "And to you," he responds in a low voice.

Loki looks over the kitchen once before striding past us to the bookshelf, and I glance at him intermittently while clearing the counter—watching as he stands in front of it for a moment, and finally picks one of the books out. As he opens it in his hands, he turns and slowly heads over to the furthest couch, keeping his eyes glued on the pages.

It takes us another two hours or so to finish making the food, and once or twice I glance over at Loki—who continues reading his book throughout the whole time. At some point, I grin contentedly—knowing he's going to like his Christmas present.

Meanwhile, my own mood rises correspondingly with our getting closer and closer to the heart of Christmas. The food will be ready around midday—at which point we'll exchange presents, sit down to eat, and afterward spend the rest of the day watching movies.

It's not exactly the usual chronology of Christmas Days past, but the fact that we're spending it all together still makes it special—nothing's going to ruin that, or my mood. Not even the lack of a Christmas tree—the festive tablecloths and wine glasses are good enough for me.

As 'Carol of the Bells' comes on by Linsdey Stirling, I twirl once to the melody as I walk around the kitchen island with some wine glasses in my hands, and set them down on the tablecloth that's already set.

Soon, the smell of food accompanies the sound of light conversation in the apartment, and Tony and Pepper have begun taking things out of the oven already—carrying them out to the table one by one.

"Be right back—I'm going to get the presents now," I mutter to them as I turn and head toward the hallway—sliding across the wooden floor every now and again as the song continues.

The music dims a bit as I shut the door behind me, and walk over to my suitcase to rummage around for six small boxes in wrapping paper. I lift them up in my arms and turn toward the door—suddenly hearing the sound of other footsteps in the hallway, along with that of doors opening.

When I step out into the hallway, I see that everyone's doors are open, and I peep inside the rooms to see everyone rummaging through their belongings—just as I had done. Loki reappears in the threshold of his doorway almost immediately, carrying six indiscernibly wrapped items in his arms.

The other Asgardians shuffle out of their rooms momentarily after, and I sway slightly as I look back at them all—all holding assortments of different-sized presents in their arms.

I smile at the sight, as warm endearment spreads through my chest. "Looks like you guys've got Christmas down!"

"It's a lovely holiday, I think," says Thor, gesturing with one of the presents. "We didn't have much of anything like this in Asgard."

I grin, and tilt my chin downward slightly. "Well, now you do!"

I glance up at Loki one more time before fully turning back to walk to the living area, and my eyes skip briskly over his bright, emerald gaze peering down at me. In the light of day, the paleness of his complexion contrasts even more against them, and it only takes a quick glance to be struck by their greenness.

Tony, who'd still been helping Pepper set the table, finally coaxes her away to join us at the couches, and it takes a few minutes for everyone to exchange gifts. Afterward, Loki sits to my left on the far end of the couch, nearest to the fireplace. I blink at him as he turns toward me—holding a small present out to me.

"Once more," he croons as he holds the small, circular gift in the air between two fingers. "Merry Christmas."

I smile, lifting a hand out to cradle it in my palm. "Thank you," I say, and set it down beside me for a moment as I hand him the last present I have in my hands—his present. "And to you."

Loki takes it from me and flips it over in his hand—eyeing it intently.

After a moment of watching him do just that, I finally giggle. "Well, go ahead open it!" I say.

He looks back at me for a moment before dropping his gaze down to his gift in my hand, and he briefly parts his lips to speak—interrupted by the sound of Pepper's voice across from us.

"Okay, let's open these up," she says as she shifts on the couch, facing Tony. "You go first."

Loki glances back at me. "There seems to be a queue," he whispers, crinkling his nose as he looks back at them. I chuckle, and nod as I look back at Tony, who's beginning to unwrap his presents.

One by one, we go around the couches counterclockwise, and watch as everyone opens up their gifts. We finally get around to Loki and I, and since Loki's further from the fireplace, he's going first. My present comes last, and he stares at it confusedly for a moment after pulling back the wrapping paper—revealing a kindle device.

"What... is it?" he asks.

"It's called a kindle," I say, glancing at Thor and giving him a subtle thumbs up—a gesture of thanks for the idea. He returns it with a subtle nod. "You can put as many books on it as you want, and read them whenever you want."

Loki's brow flickers slightly as he looks over at me, and nods. "A lovely idea, thank you."

"You're welcome!" I respond earnestly, and exhale as I look down at the pile of gifts in my lap. "Guess it's my turn now."

"Mine first," says Pepper, pointing to her gift leaning on the side of the couch, before leaning back with a glass of wine, and a look of contented anticipation.

I raise a brow and smile, rolling my eyes back down to it. "Alright," I say as I pick it up, and unwrap it. Inside is a plain white box held together with tape on the sides—which I tear off easily. My eyes widen as I lift the lid, and see a myriad of glimmering rocks and elegant lace atop a bright red gown. " _Jesus_ ," I whisper as I place the box on the ground and lift it by the shoulders.

The dress is almost the length of me, and would technically be a sleeveless dress, if not for the sheer fabric stretching across the chest and down the arms—also covered in small, glinting jewels.

I lower it to see the giant smile sprawled across her face—and to let her see the look on mine.

  
"This..." I pause. "Is the most beautiful dress I'm ever going to own."

"I _thought_ you might like it," she says.

"I _love_ it," I say breathlessly, looking down at it. "Thank you so much, Pep. I think... I'll even wear it to the Gala in a few weeks."

" _Bingo!_ " she exclaims, pointing a finger in the air.

I laugh. "Did you buy this for that!?"

"I mean," she tilts her head. "I didn't buy it _for_ that, but I figured you might like it enough to wear it!'

Tony glances between us confusedly. "What Gala?" he asks.

"After New Year's Eve—remember?" I gesture to him as I sit back down, lowering the dress back into its box. "The Academy's celebration of the New Year—new projects and whatnot, and to celebrate this past year. You guys were there last year!"

  
" _Oh!_ " the realization dawns on him. "Right—that. Got it."

Meanwhile, I continue unwrapping each and every gift—making sure to stand up and thank everyone as equally passionately as I did Pepper, so that no feels unappreciated.

"And now, for yours!" I smile at Loki as I sit back down, and take his little present in my hand.

A grin tugs on the corner of Loki's lip as he looks up at me, and drops his gaze back down to it. I follow suit, tugging at the corners of the wrapping—which comes apart easily, revealing a beautifully adorned, silver-green music box that barely fits the palm of my hand.

" _Oh my goodness,_ " I say as I smile down at it, and press on the little lever in the front—letting the top of it flip upward. Inside, a silver figurine pops up, wearing a long dress and holding her hands up in a dancing motion. "Does it have a..." my words trail off as I locate what I'm looking for—a small, silver knob.

I twist it slowly until it won't turn anymore, and let go—listening to the sweet, soothing melody play for a few seconds before looking back up at him.

By the way his brow flickers as he meets my eyes, I could swear his expression is slightly apprehensive.

"This is wonderful, Loki—I'll keep it on my nightstand," I croon warmly as I lean toward him, rising slightly onto my knee as I reach across his frontside and pull him in for a hug. My cheek presses right against the crook of his neck, where I can feel a few coarse strands of hair against it. "Thank you so much," I say, and a few strands blow loose under my breath.

"You're welcome," his deep voice vibrates in my ear as his hand appears on my back, and glides further across it as he returns the hug.

Heat practically radiates off of him, and as soon as I feel my cheeks flush—which is immediately—I pull away and sit back against the couch.

"Well now that that's settled..." says Tony, immediately plopping his hands down on his knees as he stands up. "Let's eat!"

"Indeed!" Thor agrees enthusiastically, and rises from the couch. "I'm positively famished."

I laugh as I look up at him, and in the corner of my eye—I see Pepper staring in my direction.

I look down at her to see that it's not me she's staring at—it's Loki. I doubt anyone else knows her well enough to recognize the hint of concern in her eye, and it disappears as soon as she she looks away, and stands up with the rest of us to go over to the table.

I want to ask, but now's obviously not the time... So I suppose it'll just have to be added to my list of questions for the time being. For now, it's time to celebrate the rest of Christmas. 


	20. Chapter 20

I suppose it's fortunate happenstance that New Year's Eve happens to fall on a Friday. Tony and Pepper left early in the morning to wrap up a couple of more meetings, but they'll be joining us again in the afternoon to celebrate. And after looking into a number of tourist attractions all week, today is our official day of freedom for this trip—since our flight is tomorrow night.

The Asgardians and I had a light breakfast at a cafe just across the road from where we're staying, and have since been exploring the streets of Geneva, slowly making our way to a local park on the edge of town. The best part about this whole trip is the crazy amount of snowfall the town's been getting—the sound of my boots crunching against the snow is immensely satisfying.

"Cerys!" Thor's voice echoes from far behind me, and my chin presses against my soft scarf as I tear my eyes away from the snow-laced tree branches, and I look back at him—at all the Asgardians, who've apparently situated themselves on a bench on the other side of the blanketed field.

The snow crunches underneath me as I turn and pull the edges of my black trench coat further together, and stick my hands into my pockets as I trail on back toward them—suddenly noticing that we're missing one Asgardian—Loki.

My curls brush against the rough, warm fabric of my coat as I look around, and see him far off to the left—near the treeline that ascends into some hills. Loki's a small blip against the snow, dressed in all black, as usual, except no suit this time. Instead, he's sporting a pair of black jeans and a a coat. My beeline toward the bench curves as I saunter off in his direction, and I realize along the way that Thor's right—he does dress like the wicked witch of the west most days.

"We don't get snow like this in New York," I say as I come up behind him.

I look over his profile as he turns his head slightly toward me for a moment, and then looks back up at the trees just above us. "No, I suppose not."

"Did you ever have snow in Asgard?"

"No, unfortunately not," Loki pauses for a moment. "Though it might have been nice."

"Yeah," I nod, turning to look back at the horizon of buildings and mountains in the distance. "I've always liked winter more than any other season. It's the most peaceful time of year, I think."

He bobs his head—giving my a sidelong glance, and a moment of silence passes between us. I sway slightly in place—looking around the rest of the field as the cold air nips at my skin, and eye the Asgardians sitting together on the bench, occupied with some conversation that's got them laughing heartily and throwing us the occasional glance. I immediately feel drawn to them, to the outward displays of joy and friendship—really, I can't imagine how anyone wouldn't feel the same way.

I look back at Loki, looking over the sharp features of his profile—wondering what it is that he finds so fascinating in the trees. Why he seems to always feel the need to pull away from the others so much. He's obviously well past the age of being a misunderstood recluse teenager, and considering his continued presence in all our activities, it seems like the others do make an active effort to include him anyway.

I cock my head slightly, and slide my boot over the snow as I turn and face him completely. "Can I ask you something?"

Loki gives me a blank, sidelong glance, and nods.

"Did..." I pause, briefly second guessing my decision to pry—but I guess there's no turning back now. "Did you want to come on this trip?"

A flicker of movement passes over his brow as he eyes me confusedly. "What do you mean?"

I shrug. "Don't get me wrong, I generally really enjoy your company, and I'm glad you did come," I smile. "But... I also get the feeling you haven't been enjoying this trip as much as the rest of us. I guess you just seem a little tense is all, and I'm wondering if there's a reason for it?"

Loki blinks, and scans the scenery behind me for a moment. "I've enjoyed this just fine," he says, and drops his eyes back down to meet my gaze—seemingly waiting for some acknowledgement.

"Alright," I nod, not wanting to push any further.

He continues to peer at me, even as I turn and look back at the others. I glance at him one more time before curling my lips back in an indicative grin, and move in their direction.

"What about you?" he asks suddenly as I take the first step toward them, and turn to look back at him instead.

"What about me what?"

He pauses. "How much have you enjoyed this trip?"

"Oh," my brows rise and drop as I sigh. "Man, I've... Just... So damn much," I say in earnest. "I love to travel, but to get the chance to go someplace like _this,"_ I gesture around us and laugh. "Hell, I'm a creature of the mountains living in a concrete jungle—I'd move here if I didn't have a life to go back to."

"I see," he nods, and silence falls between us again.

I give the hill a double-take, scanning over the beautiful snow that's blanketing the ground and snaking through the trees, casting shadows over itself along bumps and clumps—like a beautiful sketch. "Looks like there might be a nice view up there—want to go up and explore a little?" I ask.

Loki casts a lazy glance at the hill. "Think I'd rather not."

"Oh come on!" I grin, gesturing to the slope as I saunter toward it. "When's the next time we're going to be in a place like-"

I yelp as the ground caves in under my foot, and my weight drops straight into what must be three feet of snow. With my leg caught in the mound, I flail my arms about for a second trying to regain my balance, before falling completely into the powder.

I laugh as I haul myself up onto my knees. " _Damn it!_ " I curse, and then frown at the clumps slowly melting into my clothes. At the low sound of Loki's baritone chuckle, I look up to see the most amusement in his expression since we got here.

"Some 'creature of the mountains' _you_ are," he muses.

"Hey!" I narrow my eyes at him, and huff as I gather some snow in my hands and toss it at him. All he has to do to avoid it is take a step back, and his grin widens slightly as he looks down at the fallen snow, and then back at me.

"I believe it's only fair to warn you, for future purposes," he says. "Not to start a war that you can't finish."

I throw my head back and laugh. "Oh, bite me!" I say, and I'd be lying if I said that a tiny bit of my frustration wasn't invested in the subsequent snowball I threw at him.

My eyes widen as Loki catches it mid-air, and I flinch as he throws his weight into pelting it back at me. I cry out as it hits me in the side just hard enough to push me back a little, and I look back—meeting his contented gaze with some fire of my own.

I tilt my head to the side, raking the snow into as big a snowball as I possibly can. " _Alright then,_ " I say ominously as I rise to my feet, trying to hold it together in my arms to keep it from falling apart.

In a heartbeat, I look off to the side, and stride to the right of him slowly—seeing Loki eye me suspiciously as I saunter off away from him. As soon as I'm out of the deep part of the snow, I pivot sharply and push off the ground, and jump straight at him with the snow in my hands. Loki moves to the side as soon as he realizes it, but I turn in time to shove the snow right up against his chest mid-stride.

His eyes drop down to it, and a hint of an amused smile tugs on the corner of his mouth as he looks up at me, and cocks his head. " _Alright then_ ," he purrs mockingly, and turns sharply toward the line of trees.

I watch confusedly for a moment as he leaps effortlessly over the deep snow, and lands just beside the roots of the nearest tree—using his momentum to run up against the trunk and grab the lowest branch, hauling himself up onto it. Before I even have a second to realize what he's doing, Loki strolls the length of the branch and kicks his boot down against it—just above my head.

Piles of snow that built up on the branches falls straight onto me from above, and I jump away from it—slipping again on a patch of hard snow and falling onto my backside.

"Damn it all, my hair!" I cry out laughingly, rolling over and seeing the wetness coating its long strands.

With a light thump, Loki lands on the ground just behind me. "Can't say I didn't warn you," he muses.

I turn and see him kneeling beside me over my shoulder, and movement flickers in his expression as my eyes narrow sharply. I grab his arm suddenly, and before he can pull away, I use all the arm strength I can muster to pull myself up toward him—grasping some snow with my hidden hand, and plopping it against the side of his head.

"There!" I chuckle as I scruff the snow into his hair, letting go of his arm as he jumps back—brushing it out of his hair as he glares down at me with a grin. I point at him, "Now we're even—and if you think that I'm going to share my blow drier with you, you're in for a whole 'nother war when we get home."

Loki's eyes narrow in turn, and with a mischievous grin tugging on his lip, he opens his mouth to speak—stopping suddenly, as his dart up to some movement behind us, and the amusements seeps out of his face.

"Well that was quite a show," I hear Thor's voice, and turn over to see that the others have made their way to us.

I look back at Loki—whose expression has almost completely reverted back to the blankness I'd seen before. I furrow a brow at the sudden change, realizing for a moment that it may not be his personality alone that makes him the recluse in our group.

"Glad you enjoyed yourself," he says, patting the sleeves of his coat and straightening it out.

I brush the remaining snow out of my hair as I lift myself up, and turn toward them.

"We ought to get going," Thor says. "We've not much time before Tony and Pepper return home."

"They're on their way already," says Heimdall, giving him a knowing look.

"Did they call?" I ask, tilting my head to the side as I take my phone out of my pocket—brushing some of the wetness off of it. No phone calls.

"No," Thor shakes his head, gesturing to Heimdall. "No—Heimdall saw them already, we were coming to let you know."

"Oh, I see-" I pause, feeling my phone vibrate—a call, from Tony. I smile at Heimdall, and hold the phone up, showing the screen. "Right on time, looks like."

Heimdall gives me a friendly grin and nods, and I turn to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"We're on our way," I hear Tony say.

"Yup," I smile, pivoting slightly toward the tree line. "We're on our way back—see you at the house."

I look up and meet Loki's eyes, and regretfulness pulses through my chest briefly—he's so tense around everyone else, that this was the first time I'd seen him have a little bit of fun, and I just wish it could've gone on a little bit longer.

Loki blinks, looking away as he strolls past me. And despite the unyielding solemness that's returned to his expression, I can't help but wonder whether the same thought crossed his mind as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers! So thank you all so much for your patience this past week, and for the reviews you've sent me in the meantime. I finished my finals on Thursday and Friday, drove home for 10 hours, and then another 3 hours into the mountains (where I am right now!) And now I'm super, super excited to write the next chapter. Since I'm in a mountain cabin now, the inspiration for writing about the beautiful coziness of a mountain-snow-town is going to be intense, especially now that Loki and Cerys are a little bit friendlier than before.
> 
> The celebration itself is going to be a lot of fun to write as well, a little bit of fun, coziness, and... jealousy? Soooo that means that next chapter will probably be rather long, and when they get back from Switzerland, shit's going to get pretty damn real. I'm super excited, and I hope you guys are as well! Until next time! :)


	21. Chapter 21

In many ways, Geneva is similar to other European cities. I've only ever traveled twice before this trip—once to Italy, and once to France—but the splendor of any European town at night can't possibly be understated. Switzerland has its own share of unique qualities of course, just like any other country. The mountains, for example, have been the most breathtaking sight.

Though, as much as the daytime views are beautiful, nighttime is when the city really boasts its beauty. Lights cast multi-colored shadows against the blankets of white snow lining the streets, and every now and again, a clump or two will fall from some of the roofs.

I rub my gloved hands together and let out a hot breath between them as I take it all in—counting my blessings and thanking Pepper inwardly a thousand and one times, while the twinkling lights reflecting off the Rhone River captivate my outward attention.

It's New Year's Eve, and there aren't nearly as many people in the streets as I thought there'd be. Tony wanted to take a car to wherever the place is that we're going, but the rest of us opted to walk, and enjoy the scenery on our last night here.

"It's just around here," Pepper says, glancing back us from up front with Tony. I'm given to understand that it's a cross between a lodge and a club, but I won't know for sure until we get there.

My heeled boots click loudly against the cold asphalt as we turn we corner, and I hear the place before I actually see it—big open glass windows, and a plethora of tall tables inside. There are some tables outside as well, and the first thing I notice is sound of drunken patrons standing around them, talking and laughing—celebrating.

We all shuffle inside from the cold, but only Tony, Pepper and I show any outward reaction to finally being somewhere warm enough to shed our coats. Much like everyone else, I kept it simple tonight—tight, dark jeans that slipped nicely into my boots, and a skin-tight shirt that wraps nicely around my figure. The only somewhat extravagant item on me is my necklace, which hangs off my chest and glints beautifully.

We claim our table roughly near the entrance, and I note momentarily that Loki chose the tall chair opposite me, though on the other end of the small table. I shake the glimmer of disappointment away, choosing instead to focus on the smell of food.

I look around the giant space, but I can't seem to find the source of the aroma. Not only is the room large, it's also dark, and the only sources of light are Christmas lamps lining the walls, and flashing lights on the dance floor—which cast all kinds of atmospheric shadows against the beamed roof and wooden pillars.

The space itself, I'd say, is roughly half full—there's just enough people for the occasion to feel special, but not so many that everyone blurs together. Apart from my own companions' friendly banter, I can hear a number of different people speaking a number of different languages, even over the music.

Tony and Thor wander off at some point to bring us back some drinks, and after a few minutes, the table is lined with shot glasses—two for each of us.

After dispersing them, Tony raises his wrist to look at the time. "Two hours 'til midnight," he exclaims over the music. "Let the games begin!"

I laugh as Tony demonstrably downs the contents of his shot glass, and I cheer approvingly as I do the same.

"Here, here!" Thor calls out in his deep, rumbling voice, and the others join us as well.

I cringe as the liquid the burns my throat, and grab the second shot glass almost immediately, holding it up in the air. "Here's to a great new year with old friends," I gesture to Pepper, who smiles and bobs her head responsively with her glass in her hand. "And to new ones!" I smile as I look around the table next.

Everyone smiles and cheers approvingly, and I catch Loki's searching eyes for a moment as he leans forward on his forearms. His eyes are pale enough to be colored by the lights from the dance floor spilling over us. The grin that follows doesn't entirely reach his eyes, but he does lower his chin respectfully, and holds my gaze as he takes the shot glass by the edges, and throws back its contents.

Sometime during the next hour of intoxication, Pepper and I manage to saunter off in search of food. We finally find a few buffet tables lining one of the walls, and a number of widened eyes gaze at the gloriously overflowing platefuls we haul back with us.

The plate is heavy, but I can't quite make out the sound of it hitting the wood of the table as we sit down. Hardly a moment later, the others get up out of their chairs and make their way to bring back food as well.

"Holy shit!" I exclaim laughingly as Thor comes back with two platefuls.

Loki follows shortly after. Just by their food selection alone, I'd never guess that they're brothers. Thor managed to pile on as many meats as he possibly could, and the sweetest smelling starchy foods. Loki on the other hand, came back with a plateful of prosciutto, salad, and other delicate looking foods. This time he's taken a seat slightly closer to me—taking one of the middle chairs this time, instead of the one on the far end.

"Boy's gotta eat!" Tony says, patting Thor on the back before reaching around Loki and setting his food down on the table.

"Yeah but, where's he gonna put it all!?" I crinkle a brow amusedly, feeling my inhibitions loosen just a little bit as my legs sway under the table—trying to find a place to land.

My left foot bumps against something, and I swing toward it fervently to hook my leg on it. It takes me a moment to realize that the sudden jerk in Loki's face means that it was actually _his_ shin that I kicked, and my eyes widen dramatically.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaim. "I'm sorry!"

His lips press together as he shakes his head sharply. "It's alright," he says—fashioning a slightly friendlier tone. Maybe realizing that my level of self control is dropping low, low, looooooower by the minute.

"When we get back," Tony says, slightly slurring his words as he points at us across the table, and then swings his finger toward Pepper. "We gotta buy a dress for the _presidente's_ dinner."

"Ooooooohhhhhhhh," Pepper rolls her eyes toward him. "Are _you_ wearing a dress too!?"

They've been talking about some sort of presidential dinner for five minutes amongst themselves. The rest of us have been listening patiently and waiting for the conversation to move forward, but the image of Tony wearing a dress is just too much, and I start to laugh—laugh hard.

Even harder, and _harder_ as six pairs of eyes look at me confusedly.

"Tony—" I laugh, fanning my neck as tears build in the corners of my eyes. "Tony wearing a _dress!!!_ " my voice escapes me in a shrill laugh as I lean forward onto my elbows and bury my face in my hands, feeling some soreness creep into my chest as all the air blows out of it again and again.

"It's not—" Tony gestures to me, half-smiling and laughing. "It's not _—it's not that funny!_ " he cries out, and then breaks down into a laughter that spreads quickly down the table, to Pepper and the others.

Even Loki's sporting a bit of an amused expression as he looks across Pepper at Tony—though Loki's either handling his alcohol a lot better than we are, or is genuinely immune to the contagious laughter.

I look over the group of good looking French-speaking guys at the table next to us, following the sound of the DJ's voice announcing the next song. A familiar tune blares through the speakers, and my eyes widen with delight.

It's the electro-swing version of "It Ain't Right" by Jamie Berry—a flapper, 20's style song with a twist of awesomeness.

"Oh my god!" I raise a hand in the air, and my eyes dart back to Pepper. "Dance with me!"

"But this is weird dancing music!" Pepper sways slightly—she's never been the biggest fan of twenties-style music, even with the modern twists that I live and breathe for.

"No no no, it's not weird—I'll show you!"

Even Loki flinches as I reach out and claw at her wrist from across the table—Tony barely manages to duck under our intertwined hands as I drag her out of her chair in front of me.

"Okay here," I situate her just in front of me by our table. "Follow my moves, okay!?"

As the first few notes of the song circle around, I catch on the beat and start stepping forward and back—keeping it simple enough for Pepper to try and replicate it amidst her drunkenness. After a few moments of practice, we slowly forget about the would-be instruction and simply dance.

_It ain't right to do what you do to me_

_It ain't right to be so untrue to me_

_It ain't right so baby, farewell_

Pepper suddenly reaches out and grabs Tony from the table. Some other people at the tables around us have begun dancing as well, and I step back to give Tony and Pepper a bit more room as the music really picks up, and we rock out together to the beat.

And goddamn, these are the moments I live for. In the heat of its loudness and upbeat energy, a twinge of pride bolts unabashedly through my chest as I recall the hours of work that went into my training—training that now serves as an insurance policy preventing me from humiliating myself. Training that allows me to picture the dance in my mind and execute it like a damn professional.

Not a goddamn care in the world.

Tony nearly bumps into me, but I manage to step back and deep dancing. I roll a shoulder back and forward, and my hair flies over it as I spin on one heel—smiling broadly as I throw my left hand out, and look up to catch a glimpse of Loki watching me.

The DJ's voice comes on the speakers briefly, but I don't catch whatever it is that he tries to say. Aside from that, all I manage to register is that the good-looking French guys at the table next to us have now averted their attention, looking between me, and the one among them that's eyeing me wide-eyed.

I would never have become a performer if that kind of attention bothered me, but this night's not supposed to be about that, so I turn and usher the rest of my group to the dance floor—though only Tony, Pepper, Thor, and Sif succumb to my insistence.

Intoxication is at max levels now, and I can scarcely feel my limbs as I let go and dance around to the beat. The trumpets, the horns, and the drums combined are a whole different type of drug to each and every one of my muscles, and the energy is just the purest, happiest goddam adrenaline-pumping bliss that I've felt in a long time.

I can't imagine anything that might ruin it.

Even as I spin to the song and land in front of one of that same guy—who reaches out and offers me a hand, murmuring something that I can't hear. I assume it's an offer to dance, and I give a carefree nod as I take his hand and let him spin me around. He keeps a respectful distance between us for the duration of the song, and even seems to know what he's doing a bit more than I would've expected.

 _The end of a perfect evening..._ The final lyrics blare out from the speaker.

I smile as I turn back to my group. My hand slips out of his unnoticeably as I clap, and sway in place slightly—forgetting to look back at him as I stumble over and hook my arm in Pepper's as she cheers approvingly.

All the adrenaline, the excitement and joy is still pumping wildly through my veins as we saunter back over to our table.

I let out a breath as I plop down into the chair, and turn toward Heimdall and Loki. "Man, you guys missed out!"

Heimdall chuckles, and I glance at Loki—who merely tightens his lips responsively and raises the corners of his brows subtly before trailing his eyes away.

"I think we killed it!" says Pepper, and I glance over at her to Loki's left, seeing her pat her highly intoxicated love monkey on the back.

"We made the freakin' annihilated the floor!" Tony slurs, and I burst out laughing at his obvious incapacitation.

A sudden movement in the corner of my eye has me making a double-take at the table beside us, where the group of guys are either laughing, pulling back, or egging on the guy I'd danced with earlier. I raise a brow amusedly as I scan their faces, and blink surprisedly as the guy suddenly bursts out from their grasp, and runs across the room.

I follow him with my eyes confusedly—noticing Loki's eyes shift slightly in the same direction—and my jaw drops as I watch him run straight out the doors without his coat on. He returns a few moments later, having plucked some decorative flowery piece from the plethora of Christmas decorations outside. Tony's eyes widen as he jumps slightly in his seat, when the guy suddenly reappears at our end of the table, and offers me a plastic little piece of mistletoe.

In this lighting, I'm pretty sure that no one can really see the redness that suddenly flushes to my face—or maybe it's still there from all the dancing.

I laugh awkwardly as I glance around my table—at some of the eager, amused faces waiting to see what I'll do. Save for Loki—who's sporting the most empty, blank expression I've yet seen on him.

"Uhh," I look back, seeing the rest of his group watching us intently as well, with smiles sprawled across their faces. I reach up reluctantly and pinch the little plant between my fingers, taking it from him. " _Merci,_ " I nod at him, and his face lights up brightly.

My brows rise confusedly as he starts saying something to me in French, but I simply wave my hand through the air in turn. "Sorry," I say earnestly. "That's all I know!"

The guy eyes me for a moment, until the realization dawns on him—on us both—that we don't share a spoken language. A genuine frown seeps into his expression, but he steps back nevertheless, bowing his head respectfully before raising his fingers up to his lips, and blowing me a kiss. I nod politely, and curl my chin inward as I rotate around in my chair, and prop my elbow against the table—cradling my reddened cheek in it.

"Well then," I chuckle embarrassedly, looking back at the table—then at Loki, who continues peering back at me blankly. I narrow my eyes slightly, as if squinting at him is going to help me read his expression.

" _Hoooot_ ," Pepper croons before taking another shot, and Loki's eyes flicker to her briefly.

Only in that brief instant do I see a hint of discontent—fleeting quickly, as he looks back down at a glass of wine I hadn't noticed before, and grasps it lazily to take a sip.

The DJ's voice suddenly blares over the speaker again, and he begins a countdown in some other language. Tony glances at his phone briskly, and looks back up at us urgently, joining in the countdown and hyping us up to do the same with flailing limbs.

 _"Seventeen... Sixteen... Fifteen...Fourteen..._ " we chant in unison—in English, thankfully. "... _Five...Four...Three...Two...ONE!"_

A roar breaks out in the room and on the streets, and lift our drinks up into the air. Heimdall clinks glasses with Sif while Thor wraps an arm around Loki—barely managing to coax a hint of genuine exuberance in his expression as he clinks his glass, and mutters something indiscernible to his brother.

It makes me grin, but the grin fades slightly as I look over and see Tony planting a loving kiss on Pepper's lips. Daniel's face suddenly appears in my mind, and something sinks in my chest at the realization that in a matter of weeks ago, I'd fully intended to have him with me in this moment.

The smile fades almost completely as the thought aids the depressant already coursing through my veins. Though before I can lift my beer up to my lips to further my intoxication, a sudden movement to my right catches my attention.

I look over to see the French guy standing next to me, having sauntered over from his group. I stare at him wide-eyed as an understanding grin grows on his lip. He raises a hand and lays it on my shoulder, and slowly leans in to give me a kiss on my cheek—slowly enough to let me stop him if I want to.

I'm almost too shocked for a moment to process whether or not I should've let it happen, and I watch as he turns and heads back to his chuckling friends—watching the back of his head as he walks off. An interesting character, that one. Thinking about it, I grin as I turn back to my friends—laughing as I see Pepper's jaw hanging open, and her brows drooped low in an expression of complete and utter approval.

" _Gettsome!_ " Tony laughs, and takes another swig of his beer.

Next to Pepper, I see Thor's hand still resting on Loki's shoulder—though his expression toward his brother is slightly disconcerted, as Loki himself is glaring at the table next to ours with eyes widened slightly.

My stomach turns over as I see his eyes move in my direction, and I look away quickly—sliding off the chair as my legs grow a mind of their own and carry me off to the bathrooms on the other side of the room.

My heels click briskly against the floors and my cheeks redden as I think about the scene I just ran away from—the French guy, my friends, and Loki. Who, if I didn't know any better, seemed the slightest bit displeased.

My hands fly up to my face, and I shake my head—mocking myself inwardly for even considering the idea of Loki being displeased. Why would that even concern me? Why did the idea of him feeling that way set my pulse racing?

 _God, no..._ This isn't the time or the place to start considering the implications. I walk straight into the bathroom and make a beeline to the sink, staring at my own reflection until I feel a bit more grounded.

After a few moments, I look down and flip on the sink—running my hands under the cool water. When my heaving chest is sufficiently satiated, I turn it off and stroll back out of the bathroom—ready for another drink.

~

I pushed it. I really pushed it with the alcohol tonight—I didn't even realize how drunk I really was until we left the club. And now, even though the heels on my boots aren't particularly tall, I'm still having trouble walking around without stumbling.

At some point I sway for a moment, and prop myself up against a railing—stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to regain my composure. My eyes trail over the glimmering river to my left, and slowly make their way back to the group. They've mostly stopped, but Loki and Thor seemed to have stopped sooner than the others—since they're standing closest to me.

In fact, I could swear I might've heard Thor calling to the others to wait.

"Are you alright?" he asks, looking back at me.

"Yeah," I nod, slurring my words. "I just..." I gesture back in the direction we came from. "It's been a while. I forgot limits," I stumble slightly as I walk toward them, and movement ripples through both Loki and Thor at the possibility of needing to catch me.

"I'm good," I smile at them both—holding Loki's solemn gaze a bit longer than Thor's. "I'm good..."

"You certainly don't seem like it," says Loki, and even in my drunken state, I sense the tightness in his tone—even Thor throws him a subtle glance.

"Don't worry," I grin as I step past them, and wave my arm demonstrably ahead. "Onward, friends!" I giggle, but then stumble backward a bit—accidentally bumping into Loki.

A large hand tightens around my shoulder—steadying me. I look up at him from over my shoulder, feeling his breath on my cheek as he towers above me, and peers down at my face intently.

My eyes widen as I look at him—the human furnace radiating heat amidst this freezing cold. My eyes trail heavily over the tiny bit of stubble lining his strong jaw, the angular cheekbones, and most importantly, the piercing green eyes gazing down at me with undivided attention.

I raise a finger clumsily up to my chin, barely managing to coordinate all my limbs enough to keep me upright.

A burning warmth suddenly beats through my chest. " _Wow,_ " I breathe out—and suddenly clamp the hand over my mouth as soon as it's out.

The corners of his brows rise wryly, while my eyes widen with embarrassment—no, not embarrassment. No, I can fix this—no need to be embarrassed.

" _Shhhhh_ ," my eyes narrow intently as I whisper, tapping my lips with my index finger—his green eyes flicker down to it. "Pretend I didn't say that, okay?" I turn and pat his chest.

A grin tugs on the corner of his mouth as he parts his lips amusedly—looking unsure of what to say.

"It's okay, no—shhhh," I whisper again—because no, Loki didn't hear me say that, I'm just going to pretend he didn't.

I'm going to pretend I didn't say it too, and I'm going to pretend that Loki didn't hear me. In fact, Loki is now an honorary buddy for the night—he's not actual Loki tonight, because I'd never say that in front of Loki. I'm sure he understands me.

I open my eyes and look up with him, trying to convey my mental diarrhea with a look. "Just pretend," I pause, and giggle as I jam my finger into his chest. "You're honorary Loki, so you don't tell Loki I said that, okay?" his brows furrow amusedly, but I shake my head. "No no, it's okay—it's our secret, okay?"

He parts his lips, looking confused at first, but finally surrenders a nod. "Alright—we shan't say anything to Loki," he murmurs in a low voice.

"Good, good..." I pat him on the arm as I turn back, feeling my body betraying me slowly as I stumble away from the warm blip of air surrounding him.

Home—we gotta get home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Cerys, I felt bad for her when I wrote her accidental slip of the lip. A tad embarrassing XD
> 
> This was a particularly fun chapter to write, especially with what happened with the French guy. I pretty much started writing it as soon as I posted chapter 21. And I will tell you all this - French guys really can be that forward! But they're also super respectful, which was really amazing to observe when I was in France. I mentioned a while back that I traveled to Paris, and a few instances akin to that actually happened to me too while I was there. Not exactly like Cerys, but the general idea was close, and it was truly an interesting experience to say the least lol. I was thoroughly impressed with how romantic and gentlemanl-y they were. I couldn't help myself - they're in Europe, so I had to throw a little something in there. ;)
> 
> I know many of you are probably wondering what's up with Cerys' strange abilities and whatnot, and I can tell you now that much will be revealed once they are back in the states. The chapters will probably get longer from here as well, and I'll leave you all with a little hint: "SHIELD has no shortage of enemies." -Barton... 
> 
> So, what's Loki going to do about that, when the danger comes?
> 
> And thank you so much for your comments, I'm not really sure whether you guys want me to respond to you all, but I do want to let you know that the kind words mean a lot to me and gets me excited to keep writing the story. :) Til next time!


	22. Chapter 22

I only had a brief moment of missing New York while we were abroad—it disappeared quickly, and by the time I was back in my apartment, I was simply aching to be back in Switzerland again. At least, I was wishing to relive all nights except New Year's Eve—which is still a haze. On our way home, at some point, 'It Ain't Right' came on the radio, and I immediately started feeling nauseated. I really don't remember half of what happened that night, but Pepper assures me it was a good one in more than one respect.

Still, my return to New York wasn't nearly as exciting as the Asgardians.' They had, in fact, received more death threats and other threats of violence upon their return—or rather, conditional on their return.

So it was no surprise that I ran into Daniel on duty at their apartment building three days after our return, when I'd promised Thor to pick up a few things from the marketplace. He sounded horribly upset to ask me for such a favor over the phone, and it took some effort to assure him that I was more than happy to help.

Despite that, seeing Daniel wasn't exactly the cherry on top of my day. I strode past him briskly in the entrance, and I only locked eyes with him for a moment before looking away—amping up my earphones' volume loud enough that I couldn't hear my own heels against the floors. Or him, following after me—the only indication of that was a sudden grab at my arm.

"For fuck's sake, what do you want?" I eye him menacingly as I pull an earphone out.

He opens his mouth for a moment, and closes it again, looking unsure of himself.

I nod. "Right," I say, and turn to keep walking.

"Cerys-" he stumbles after me. "I..." he pauses, and I give him a sidelong glance. "I heard your apartment was broken into."

I narrow my eyes at him. "None of your business, but yeah—it was."

He shrugs reluctantly. "I... Wish you called me."

An icy look freezes over my expression. "And I wish you didn't waste my time, but we don't always get what we want," I say in a low voice.

I turn to walk away, but he steps forward again. "Please just... I'm sorry. I want you to know that you can call me if you're ever in trouble."

Sadness replaces the anger in my chest. This was the care I thought I once had in our relationship—I was wrong the first time, shame on me if he fools me again.

"I can take care of myself, Daniel," I say. "And you clearly had your plate full with someone else when your give-a-damn actually mattered to me."

"Not anymore," he shakes his head. "I...We...We're not together anymore. I didn't really even believe that I did that to you either, I've never cheated on anyone before. And..." he pauses, and I swallow hard. "I'm just really sorry that I hurt you like that. It's not me."

"No, it was you. Have some responsibility, you knew what you were doing. And if you knew me as well as I thought you did, you'd know that I wouldn't fall for that 'it wasn't me' crock of _shit,_ " my voice starts to break by the end, and I turn away before he can see me shoving the tears down.

"Cerys," he says in a stern tone—stern enough to make look back, and nervousness beats through me at the concern that's seeped into his slightly hardened expression. "Just... Take care of yourself!" he calls out to me a final time.

I narrow my eyes confusedly and shake my head as I turn back, feeling the tears rise. The redness barely escapes my eyes by the time I get to the Asgardians' apartment, and I put on my best smile when Thor opens the door.

"Lady Cerys!" he says, smiling at first and beckoning me in—but then his face turns grave as soon as he notices the redness. "What—are you alright?"

I exhale deeply, nodding my head as I saunter into the apartment. "Yeah, yeah I'm alright. I just," I gesture back with my free hand. "I ran into Daniel on my way in."

Realization suddenly blooms in his expression. "Oh no," he says. "Forgive me—I'd completely forgotten, they'd always had him downstairs when a threat was issued. I shall see to it that he's immediately excused."

"It's alright," I chuckle as I set the bag down on the counter and turn back to him, raising a shoulder and let it drop as I shake my head. "I can handle Daniel, there's no need for that."

"We could always fillet him alive," I jump at Loki's voice behind me, and spin around to see him suddenly perched on one of the bar stools, with a cup in his hand and a book in the other. "Then _none_ of us will have to tolerate his insufferable countenance," he says casually, taking a sip of whatever's in his mug, as he continuous reading.

"Tempting," I say laughingly, and he glances up at me briefly as I walk over to his side of the kitchen island, and set my purse down. I raise a brow, "But if anyone's going to fillet him, it'll be me. With my words. So _you_ don't go to jail."

A grin tugs on the corner of Loki's lip, and he looks back down at his book. "As you wish, darling," he purrs.

I grin as I turn away, subduing the heat in my cheeks by averting my attention back to the grocery bag and gesturing to it. "I think that's everything you asked for, but if there's anything missing, I can go back and get it."

"You're too king to us, Lady Cerys," Thor grins, opening up the bag to start unloading it. "I'm sure that won't be necessary. Though, if you have the items list, I would like to see it—so we know how much we ought to repay."

"Oh, that's right," I turn, unzipping my bag as I start ruffling through it. "I have it here, somewhere..."

My voice trails off as I sigh frustratedly—going through the pile of receipts and other miscellaneous items, until I start pulling things out and dropping them on the counter. A giant, beige paper stock card covers the top of the pile, and it comes out with the second handful.

I glance at the golden letters as I set it face up:

_Winter Gala_

_01/13/2019_

_~_

_Cerys Adelin_

_RSVP: Attending/Not Attending_

_+1___________

I look back into my purse and continue rummaging around in it, until I finally find the receipt I'm looking for. "Here it is!" I hold it up to Thor. "Minus the Starbucks coffee, I bought that for myself."

In the corner of my eye, I see the card disappear from the table. I turn and look over, seeing Loki holding it up by the corner as he eyes it blankly.

"Winter Gala," he muses. "Is that a ball?"

I shrug. "Sort of. It's formal, so everyone's going to be dressed up, but no one actually calls it a ball."

"And you haven't accepted this invitation?"

I shake my head. "It's just a formality, they know I'm coming."

His eyes flicker up to me wryly. "No 'plus one?'" he asks.

Something tight tugs at my chest as I shake my head, "Nope, not this year."

In a moment of silence, the only sound between us is Thor going through the paper bag.

"Well... Would you like one?" Loki asks casually, and I blink at him. Even Thor stops his rummaging, and looks up at Loki.

"Uhm," I pause, lifting a hand up. "Sure, why not?"

He nods—as if confirming the time for a haircut—and takes another sip from his cup as he looks back down to his book.

I bob my head in turn as I look over at Thor, who's staring dumbfoundedly at us with the slightest hint of a grin on his lip.

I shrug, and Thor returns the gesture as he continues going through the bag—finding everything he needed amongst its contents. Looks like I won't be needing to run to the store again today.

~

Pepper's dress looks even better on than it did coming out of the box. For one thing, the neckline plunges into a deep 'V' that runs all the way down my back, and there's a sliver running down the side that reveals my left leg.

I got my hair done professionally earlier today, in an elegant updo, but I did my makeup myself—even though it took me several tries to get the winged eyeliner perfectly symmetrical. The final touch is some bright red lipstick, and I glance in the mirror before throwing on my elegant red trench coat and heading out the door—checking to make sure that Crest did its job in whitening my teeth enough to make it look good with that shade.

I arranged with Loki to meet me at the Gala since I needed to get there early, mostly to celebrate with the crew before the other guests arrived—sponsors, and the like. James gave some stupid speech about teamwork and dedication in the center of the hall before letting us loose. At least, I thought the speech was stupid—either way, it was painful to wait through. Though that's hardly a surprise, I try to avoid being in the same room with him these days. Just to be safe, in case he goes and gets any other stupid ideas—again.

I sip the contents of my champagne glass as I turn away from the small dais where James was standing, and head toward the staircase at the end of the hall. Golden pillars pass me on either side as I stride toward it, seeing the reflection of the elegant murals on the beige, marble tiles clicking under my heels.

The stairs lead up to the second level of the hall, where I lean against the railing and listen to the soft, instrumental music as I watch the guests file in slowly. Most come in pairs, with the occasional loner or group of suited men—until finally, a familiar face strolls in.

I straighten up slowly as I peer down at Loki from above, leaving a hand against the stone railing. He's wearing an elegant suit, but it's not all black this time—he's got a white undershirt and a dark green tie, and one of his curls is hanging loosely over the side of his face. I watch for a moment as he saunters in, looking around the room with his hands in his pockets.

A familiar tension tightens in my chest as he notices the stairs, and follows them up to the second story—until his emerald eyes finally land on me. He narrows them as he peers up at me with a grin, and lowers his chin.

I smile as I turn, and sip the last of my champagne as I stroll across the level—keeping my hand on the railing—and descend the stairs. I'd lost track of Loki's whereabouts for a moment, and blink surprisedly as I see him suddenly climbing the steps below me.

"You're on time," I smile, stopping just above him, where his eyes are at even height with my own.

"I might say you were late by lingering so far away," he grins, and nods to the upper level. "Wouldn't exactly call that attending the the party."

I cock my head to the side. "A queen is never late," I croon wryly. "Everyone else is simply early."

Loki's brow furrows, and he smiles proudly. "Oh, truer words have never been spoken," he says earnestly, turning to the side to offer me his arm.

I smirk as I step down and hook my arm under his—immediately washed over by a bubble of warmth surrounding him, and his arm is solid against mine. "I didn't actually say that," I say laughingly. "I got it from a movie."

"Another film of yours?" he says sarcastically, looking over at me. "Will you force me to watch that too?"

"I didn't force you to watch National Treasure, if that's what you're referring to," I grin, giving him a sidelong glance. "And you didn't actually watch it, you were asleep less than halfway through."

"Well," he says. "You'll excuse me for compensating sleep after a lacking night."

I chuckle. "It's fine," I say, looking around as we rejoin the group of people at the bottom floor. "I appreciate what you were trying to do there."

Loki glances at me. "What I was trying to do?"

I open my mouth to respond, but am interrupted by the sound of James' voice to my right. "CERYS!"

I suddenly feel a hand pat my shoulder, and glance at Loki before we turn. And yes, it's James—always so considerate of people's personal bubbles.

I try to control the sour look on my face as I see him standing amidst a group of three, young-looking sponsors. "I'd like you to meet Tom Vernaki, Lisa Elinbeger, and Nick Jeren," he says, gesturing to them one by one. "This is Cerys, our little star this year."

"Nice to meet you," I say with a nod, smiling at them—trying to ignore the unconventional bitterness at being referred to as a 'little' star.

I blink at another group of three men standing just behind them—almost prepared to greet them by the way they're looking at me—until they turn away. I furrow a brow, and return my attention back to the company at hand.

"It's very nice to meet you," says Lisa. "I've heard a lot about you these past few months, and then when I saw you at the festival, I knew it was all true. You certainly have talent."

"Well thank you so much," I say, feeling a bit of color rising to my cheeks. "It's just a lot of practice, honestly."

"Oh I'm sure that's not true, we were all there," she says earnestly, and turns an eye to Loki beside me. "And... I think I saw you in the front row too, sir—I'm sorry, your name is...?" she asks, holding a hand out to him.

"Loki," he says politely, taking her hand and raising it up to his lips.

"Oh," she laughs, and my face calcifies a bit at the color I see rushing to her cheeks. I sway slightly, loosening my grip from Loki's arm a bit.

"Well, it's..." she pauses, nodding her head. "It's nice to meet you. Are you from around here?"

Tom and Nick look over at her strangely, and I suddenly have the impression that they're all friends—judging by the glance they exchange from over her shoulder.

"No," Loki responds matter-of-factly. "No, I'm from Asgard."

Three pairs of eyes suddenly widen at us—save for James, who steps away from me ever so slightly. From over his shoulder, I notice that one of the three men standing behind the sponsors suddenly turns slightly, and eyes Loki—along with myself.

"Oh, _wow_ ," says Nick. "So you're with the, uh..." he pauses, waving a hand through the air. "Group of people who resettled here a few months ago?"

"That's right."

"Wow," Lisa crosses her arms, cradling her champagne glass against her shoulder. "What was that like?"

"Well," Loki says, knitting his brows together and taking a breath, like he's preparing to spin a long tale—while I roll my lips together slightly. "It's been quite the process for us to assimilate to your society, but it's coming along nicely."

"Good," Lisa nods. "Good."

"We did enjoy the festival greatly as well," Loki adds, looking over at me, and then to James. "Particularly the addition made in our honor."

"Oh yeah," James says, relatively tightly. "Yeah, that was the committee's idea, mostly."

"Well, it was a good one," Loki responds.

A waiter walks by with a tray of glasses, and James turns toward it—beaming slightly. "Ah, here we are," he takes two glasses and holds them out to the sponsors, before taking two more.

Loki and I accept them politely. Both seem to make the subsequent conversation flow a bit more easily—on my end anyway, since talking to sponsors and guests alike as they come and go around us gets more and more dull. Answering the same inquiries, offering the same statements—it all grows tiresome after a while.

Eventually, my eyes fall back to the three men still standing near us—occasionally turning and whispering amongst themselves as they eye myself and Loki. It doesn't seem like they intend to introduce themselves like all the others, and that kind of behavior at a big, crowded event like this is just giving me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Actually," Loki's voice suddenly brings my attention back, though I have no idea where I left off of the conversation. "Cerys—I was wondering if you might want to dance."

I blink up at him surprisedly, reading his knowing expression—almost as if he could sense my sudden discomfort.

"Oh, uh," I pause, glancing back at the men—who file off somewhere one by one. "Yeah, sure," I say, and we excuse ourselves politely from the group of sponsors, guests, and James.

Loki leads me somewhere off to the side—away from the crowd, and I can feel his eyes on me as I look around for the men.

"Feeling alright?" he asks. I look up at him, suddenly realizing his towering stature, and the depth in his disconcerted eyes pulls my attention back to him wholly.

"Yeah," I breathe out, and shake my head slightly. "Sorry, I just... got distracted for a minute there."

"By those men that were watching you, I presume?" he says.

I know I should be alarmed by the fact that he noticed them too, but my brain feels stunted by the hand that suddenly appears at my waist—even more so as the other lifts my right hand up into the air.

"Oh, y—you saw that too?" I ask, holding his emerald gaze as my hand slides up his shoulder—over the rough fabric of his suit.

"I did," he says solemnly—keeping eye contact as we sway slightly to the music.

"And," I pause—trying to compose a coherent thought, while the the white-hot nervousness steeping in my chest extends through the rest of my limbs. "What do you think?"

"Certainly strange," he says coolly.

I nod, trailing my eyes over to the right as Loki does the same—immediately landing on the three men, looking over their shoulders at us and whispering amongst themselves.

"Wait, you said they were watching... me?" I breathe out, looking back up at him.

"In large part," Loki says, sliding his hand further around my waist until it touches my exposed backside. My breathing nearly stops as he pulls me closer—almost protectively—as his attention remains fixed on the men waiting for the next chance to look over at us.

With how close I am to him now, I can practically feel my breath bouncing off him, and blowing back into my own face. At this point, I'm praying that my backside doesn't suddenly start perspiring under his hand. Loki, on the other hand, seems completely unfazed by the closeness.

"Has anyone been inside your apartment recently?" he asks, looking down at me. A flicker of softness passes over his expression as he suddenly sees me staring up at him in such close proximity.

"Uh," I blink, shaking my head. "N—no, why do you ask?"

"Because I might expect some negative attention in my direction—but those men are most certainly watching _you,"_ he says. "And your apartment _was_ recently broken into."

A different type of tension spills into my chest—more fearful, more apprehensive. "Oh," I murmur quietly. "Why would they be watching me?"

Loki raises a brow. "I don't know," he says. "Though... I suspect strongly that they will abate when you're no longer in my company."

I nod, feeling a glimmer of relief. "I hope you're right..." I say. "They don't exactly seem... friendly."

A wry grin tugs on the corner of his mouth, and he glances at them intermittently as he steps to the left—guiding me into a crowd a bit further, where they can't see us.

He grins softly as he turns his attention back to me. "Well, perhaps you could lull them into better affections."

I blink confusedly, and tilt my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

Loki exhales lightly through his nostrils, pausing for a moment as he studies my face.

"I mean..." he says in a soft voice, suddenly inching closer to me as his voice trails off. "Demonstrate that gift of yours... As you have with me. Though perhaps, not quite to the same extent?" he grins.

"I've... done you? I mean—" I shake my head, fully aware of the insane babble pouring out of my mouth—a direct result of the speed of blood flow coursing through me. Not enough time to oxygenate my brain, and it doesn't really seem like singing exercise would help my current enunciation. "You mean... like I lulled you?"

Loki eyes me amusedly for a moment, and the grin spreads broadly across his face.

At this point, I'm pretty sure that my pulse is racing faster than in any workout I've ever done, and Loki's eyes scan the length of my face heavily as he pulls me forward. And here—in some inconspicuous corner of this grand, magnificent hall—everything around us disappears as his warm, soft lips graze mine lightly. My eyes shut slowly of their own accord, and after a moment of light grazing, I suddenly feel the coarseness of his stubble as he presses harder against my lips.

My grip grows weaker in his hand, but he holds it tightly, still pressing his other hand firmly against my backside. Hot affection burns inside my chest, and I can feel my knees getting weaker as well. Goddamn, when did he start having this effect on me? And... when did I start having this effect on him?

But, this effect... What ' _effect_ ' do I have on him, exactly?

 _I felt your humming..._ His words suddenly pop into my head—of course, coaxing more mental diarrhea at the most unwelcome of times ... _Perhaps you could lull them into better affections._

I pull away from him gently, hearing the soft, sensual sound of our lips parting slowly. The air cools my dampened lips as I open my eyes as I open my eyes slowly, and look up at him.

Loki's eyes flicker open subsequently, and he peers down at me blankly _._ The heat in my chest begins to dim as I knit my brows slightly.

"I'm sorry, but... what did that mean?" I ask, practically whispering.

Movement tugs on the corner of his lip. "Which part?"

"Is that a jab at..." I pause, holding his gaze. "At what I've been doing?"

The blankness fades to utter confusion in Loki's expression. "What?"

"What did you mean when you said I could 'lull them into better affections?'" I ask calmly.

"I..." A glimmer of realization suddenly appears in his eyes, and Loki's expression shifts slowly as he glances off to the side—revealing a hint of contemplation before looking back at me. "Well, I'm not fully sure," he says, shaking his head lightly. "I just know that... You've some gift."

My lips part hesitantly. "Some... gift? You mean the..." I pause. "The humming, and the praying?"

Loki eyes me for a moment. "Yes, that," he says tightly.

A tiny hint of dread tugs at my chest. "And... How does it affect you, besides waking you up?"

Loki stares back at me intently, keeping his lips pressed shut—though the look on his face says he understands exactly what I'm getting at. That somehow, for some reason, whatever motivated this... Act of affection, is just the product of some pent up physical attraction. That something about those nights was more than just my accidentally waking him up—something about them affected him.

I sigh, looking away. I bite my cheek and shake my head, summoning the best smile I can muster.

"You know what, it's... it's okay. This is a weird thing to ask after someone kisses you. Just... don't worry about it," I say, pulling away from him and intertwining my arm in his once more. "Let's just enjoy the night, okay?" I say, gathering as much sincerity as I possibly can.

Loki eyes me solemnly for a moment, but finally nods.

I exhale lightly through my nostrils. Unfortunately for both of us, I doubt I'll be able to get those words out of my head—' _Demonstrate your gift... As you have with me.'_

If all this was just a lone product of some physical attraction on Loki's end, then that's that. All the questions and implications can be contemplated at a later time, but for now, one thing is clear—I'll still be nice, I'll still be friendly, but it's not what I have time for these days. That thought alone further cools the warmth and excitement I'd felt just moments ago—but it's alright.

I try to feign a distraction as I glance around the room once more, looking for signs of the men that had been watching us—watching me—and see none.

Loki seems to have bought it, as he goes back to his stoic self in a matter of moments.

At least that's one less thing to concern myself with tonight. Time to wrap this up, I suppose. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just have to give kudos to one of my commenters! Lalo117, you mentioned that it was about time for them to have a kiss, and when I read that, I gave you a mental high-five because of your timing. I was in complete agreement! Though of course, I couldn't let you all know that quite yet. ;) But I had planned all along for the Gala to be their first real moment of 'alone' time, when they aren't surrounded by their friends. 
> 
> Speaking of which, yes-Cerys caught a little bit of what's been going on with Loki with the sleepless nights. She's confused, he's confused. The only one that isn't confused, is me. (MUAHAHA) But this means, I hope, you all have also caught a teensy tiny little glimmer of what's been going on with Loki too. Either way, all will be revealed soon.
> 
> Once again, thank you guys so much for your continued support, your comments honestly just make my day - and some of them really make me think! And of course, they make this so much fun to write. I'm right there with you fangirling over all this, and your hype just adds to my excitement tenfold! So thank you, truly. :) Til next time!


	23. Chapter 23

I didn't tell anyone what happened the night of the Gala. I assume Loki didn't either, considering the fact that we all gathered at Stark tower a week ago, and had a seamless night together. At first we wanted to go out, but opted for a casual night in instead. Some of us were on the couches, others were in the kitchen, but all in all, everyone was enjoying themselves with some food and casual conversation.

I did my best to treat everyone equally—Loki in particular took the main hit of this initiative. He seemed a bit dour at first, and slightly shocked at my nonchalant demeanor toward him—but I suppose he understood my meaning, as he went on the rest of the night as normal as he ever is. Throwing in his occasional two cents, but otherwise lingering in the background of every conversation.

It's probably better this way. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to ask questions about what Loki and I discussed at the Gala, but it didn't seem like he had any answers at the time, and I was doubtful that trudging it up now would make a difference. I assume that if he did, he would've sought me out on his own.

Either way, I make it a pointed effort not to hum or otherwise direct myself verbally toward Loki in some extracurricular way. Loki, in turn, throws me a few sidelong glances throughout the night—which I pretend not to notice. Instead, we all talk about our coming plans, the near future, and other topics of the like.

I, for one, officially announced my intent to move up in the Academy. Having studied under them for almost three years, and performed for two, ambition is starting to creep into my radar, and I've been considering possibility of landing some kind of directing or executive position with them. After all, I don't want to work part time at Barnes and Noble forever.

That conversation comes toward the end of the night—end of the night for me, anyway. I end up leaving relatively early, for the sake of getting some sleep before going into the studio tomorrow. Just as I have a million times before, I say my goodbyes and take the elevator down to the lobby, where Tony has a car waiting to take me home—generous courtesy of the fact that although it's early for me, it is still 11 PM, and therefore late for me to be walking around alone outside.

By the time I get back to my apartment, I'm more than a little ready to slide into bed and sleep. I slide my key into the lock, feeling my eyelids getting droopier and droopier at the thought of it. But as soon as I push the wood of the door open and flick on the lights, my heart jumps up into my throat, and practically bursts.

My apartment is wrecked.

Absolutely, positively wrecked.

The essence of sleep escapes immediately leave my body, and I feel my heart pounding against my chest as I look around at it all—torn pillowcases, strewn books, disheveled sofas, and broken plates... Like someone had been looking for something, and decided to tear the entire room to shreds.

My hands shake as I reach into my purse, rummaging around inside it as I look for my cell phone. Even as I manage to pull it out and dial 9-1-1, I can feel hot tears lining the bottoms of my eyes. After giving them my name and address, it takes a few minutes for the police to show up—longer, this time, for them to leave. At least there's the promise of assigning a patrol car to my building.

I step carefully over the mess as I walk toward the couch, and tears run down my cheeks as I plop down onto it—feeling overwhelmed by pressure of figuring out what to do next. My mind circles and circles around a plethora of thoughts as I sit amidst the destruction, and scan the floors around me—which are littered with broken pieces of glass and torn fabric. After some unaccounted amount of time and effort to simply slow down my own thinking, one thing becomes plainly obvious, plainly rational—I can't live here anymore.

My first impulse is to call Pepper, but I know that she's about to have a busy week—the last thing I want to do is burden her with this. Call Thor, or Loki? Hardly—I couldn't bother them again with something like this.

Call... _Daniel?_

I shake my head. No—I'm not desperate enough. At least, I don't think I am—if I think hard enough about it, I might get there. Which means, I need to calm the hell down and _not_ do that. So for now, I'll stay here and trust in that patrol car.

And cry... Cry a lot.

Suddenly, my phone rings. I look down to see Pepper's name lit up on the screen, and pause for a moment—considering whether or not I should answer. The call eventually goes to voicemail, and I sigh only briefly before it starts ringing again. So I take a deep, deep breath before answering.

"Hello?" 

"Hey Cer!" I hear her shrill voice on the phone, along with an echo—indicating that I'm on speaker.

"Hey," I say softly. "What's up?"

"We just wanted to ask if you were up for dinner tomorrow, we can pick you up at the studio—but you didn't mention what time you were off."

"Oh, uh..." I pause, rubbing my eyes.

I was going to call the studio to let them know what happened, and that I wouldn't be coming in for the day. At this rate, I'd be remiss to make plans to go out.

"You know," I say. "Tomorrow's not great—you guys go ahead without me this time."

"Are you sure?" I hear Thor's voice in the background. "We were going to that place you like, the one with the fragrant chicken."

Ordinarily I might laugh at Thor's depiction of sweet and sour chicken, but the slightest impulse doesn't even enter my body.

"Yeah," I murmur. "You guys go ahead."

Silence.

"Cer, are you okay?" Pepper asks.

I move the phone away from my mouth, inhaling lightly as I try to gather myself. "Yeah I'm okay," I sigh exhaustively.

After a muffling sound over the phone, Pepper's voice comes back more clearly. "Are you sure?" she asks quietly, and I can tell I'm no longer on speakerphone.

"Yeah, Pep..." I hear my own voice break involuntarily toward the end—followed by the reservoir of crying that I've been trying to hold back.

"What's going on?" she asks again—quietly, but no less concerned.

"Pep, someone broke into my apartment again, they..." I pause. "They trashed the place."

" _What?"_ she hisses over the line. "When!? When did it happen?"

"Tonight I guess," I say, letting a few tears fall. "While I was there... Please don't tell the others."

"Yeah, yeah... It's okay, I'm in the kitchen, they can't hear m-" Pepper pauses, and I hear her voice again. "Where is he going?" I hear her ask, before returning to me. "Sorry," she says.

"What was that?" I ask.

"Oh, just..." she pauses. "Loki just left."

I sniffle, but still my eyes narrow at the possibility of him overhearing our conversation. "Oh, no..." I mumble.

"What?"

"I, uh... He might come here, I think..."

Pepper pauses for a moment. "Why would he do that?"

Damn it all, this is hardly the time to have this conversation. "We had a... moment, Pep. At the Gala."

"What kind of moment?" her voice drops low.

I shake my head. "Look, can we talk about this later? I just... I need to figure out how to deal with this right now, I think I need to talk to my landlord tomorrow. I can't stay here anymore."

Pepper sighs. "No, probably not. There should be a clause or something in your lease that lets you break it early. I know there're some apartments a couple blocks away from you, they're brand new and they might be leasing. Check that lease first, though. Do you want me to come get you?"

"Well I already know what's in the lease," I say. "I can break it, I'll just have to pay for it. But no, don't worry about me. I'm sorry Pep, I really didn't want to bother you with any of this... I know you've had so much on your plate lately."

"Stop it—you'd do the same for me," she says, her voice softening. "I just don't know why all this crap's been happening to you lately... I'm so sorry, Cer."

"Yeah, I don't know why it's been happening either, but-" I'm interrupted by a sudden knock at the door. I blink up at it surprisedly—if I was right, and Loki was on his way here, then he must've been running to have gotten here so fast. "Oh, hold on. There's someone at the door."

"Loki?" she asks.

"I don't know," I say, still walking over to it.

With the phone still at my cheek, I go to open the door—stupidly, for not bothering to check through the peephole. The color drains from my face as I look through the opened door, and there, on the other side of the threshold, see the three familiar faces from the Gala.

I instinctively slam the door shut before even having the chance to blink, and lock it immediately. " _Holy shit, what the hell,_ " my voice trembles against the phone.

"Cerys? What's going on!?" Pepper demands.

"There's... Those men are at my door," I step back as blood curdling terror courses through me, and jump at the sudden banging that ensues. 

"What men!?" Pepper yells at the phone.

"They were watching us at the Gala, they were watching me," I run back to my bedroom and shut the door behind me—but not before grabbing a knife off the kitchen rack. "I gotta call the cops," I say, and hang up on Pepper before she can respond. I dial 9-1-1 shakily while the pounding continues.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

"My name is Cerys Adelin, I called you almost two hours ago, there's men outside my apartment right now and they're trying to break in!" I stutter. "There's a patrol car outside my building, tell him to come up!"

The pounding continues as the woman confirms my name and address, but stops suddenly after a few moments. I gasp lightly at the sudden silence, feeling a sliver of relief snake through my chest as I try to listen for some noise on the other side of the door.

"It... The pounding stopped," I whisper into the phone, opening the bedroom door slightly and looking through it. "Did you call the officer?"

"No, not yet—stay where you are," the operator says sternly.

"Cerys?" I suddenly hear a familiar voice, muffled on the other side of the door.

I blink, and my eyes widen as I slide the phone away from my face, and set the knife down on the back of the couch that's up against the wall beside the bedroom door.

" _Loki?_ " I breathe out. Ignoring the operator's directions, I step out slowly into the living room.

"Cerys, it's Loki," I hear his voice again, and absently set down the phone as I stride toward the door—toward something familiar, maybe something safe.

I look through the peephole this time to make sure it's him. When I see a pair of emerald eyes looking back, I fumble to unlock the door and open it. Loki, in his black leather jacket and black jeans, peers down at me solemnly for a moment, studying the wetness under my eyes.

"What happened?"

I part my lips to speak, but amidst the chaos swirling in my head, my brain only narrows down on one thought—that he came all this way to make sure I was alright. Forget what happened a week ago, forget what any of it meant—who knows what would've happened if he hadn't come? The pounding disappeared just moments before he appeared.

Tears pool along the bottoms of my eyes, and let out a breath as I cover my hand with my mouth, and step toward him—throwing an arm around his neck, squeezing him tight. His arms rise reluctantly, before wrapping gently around my waist.

" _Thank you_ ," I manage to get out before pulling away, and wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"What happened here?" he asks again.

"The-" I start to tell him, but then movement in the corner of my eye draws my attention down the hallway, where the police officer is stalking toward us.

"Everything alright?" he asks.

I cross my arms over my chest as I turn toward him, lingering close to Loki. "Yeah," I wipe my face again. "There were some men here, they were trying to get in my apartment."

"They were _here?"_ the officer asks. "I didn't see anyone come in downstairs."

Dread sinks further in my chest as I stare at him pointedly. "Well that's comforting..." I sigh, running my hand through my hair as I try to gather myself. "I recognized them, I know who they were."

"Okay," the officer nods, pulling out a pad of paper. "What were their names?"

"No," I shake my head. "That's—that's not what I mean. I don't know their names, I... I saw them at a Gala last week—we saw them."

Loki turns toward me sharply, eyes widened. "The three?"

I look up at him and nod. "The same ones."

"You were there with her?" the officer asks.

"Yes, that's right," Loki responds, and then looks back at me. "Did they say anything? Do anything?"

"Other than pound on my door?" my voice shakes as I recall it, and my brow crinkles. "No, I shut them out in time, they couldn't get inside... Do you think they were the ones who broke into my apartment?"

"It's possible," the officer answers. "I'll call the station and let them know this happened, but do you have someplace else you might be able to stay tonight?"

I part my lips hesitantly, and look back through the door—at my wrecked apartment. My last resort are my parents, but I'd have to go out of the city to stay with them. I guess there's no other option.

"She'll stay with us," I hear Loki's voice, and turn sharply toward him. He only glances down at me before nodding to the officer, and giving him the address that I can be found at.

"Wait," I say, stopping him. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" he asks.

I shake my head. "I just... I imposed on you guys once, I don't want to do it again."

"Cerys," he says, glancing behind me at my apartment. "I believe you'll find us particularly sympathetic to your plight."

Loki peers at me solemnly for a moment, waiting for me to respond. Finally, I nod. "Okay," I murmur.

The officer asks just a few more questions, which Loki answers more so than I do, and leaves when he's finished. I shut the door behind him, with Loki in the apartment with me, and turn around—watching him walk over the debris with his hands buried in his pockets. 

"I wonder what they could have been searching for," he mumbles.

"I don't know..." I let out a shaky breath.

I couldn't possibly know, and the idea of someone tearing through my belongings like this... So many sentimental items either broken or torn. Tears start draining from my eyes again, and I make a beeline for the couch, plopping down and surrendering myself to a sob as I raise a hand to my forehead.

The couch depresses to my right as Loki sits beside me, and lays a heavy hand down on my back. As soon as I register the touch, I look over at him tearfully.

"I'm sorry this happened," he says in a low voice, as he glances around the apartment.

I bob my head lightly, letting the tears fall as his eyes trail over my face. They soften slightly, leaving his otherwise solemn expression unchanged as movement ripples through his arm—reluctantly at first, but then he reaches out and lays a hand on the crook of my neck, pulling me gently toward him.

I blink at him surprisedly, and he pauses—looking back at me searchingly. For the short instant that I suddenly lock eyes with him, I forget about the apartment—forget why I've been crying, as the pain and fear mutes for a moment, replaced by a comfortable warmth spilling into my chest. After a moment of recognizing the effort, a thankful grin tugs on the corner of my mouth, and I lift a leg off the couch—crossing it under the other, and letting him pull me into an embrace. His leather jacket is cool to the touch, but heat radiates from underneath. 

I lean into the crook of his neck, and it warms my forehead as I press into it, letting him slide his hand through my hair as he holds me against him. I tuck an arm under his jacket and squeeze tightly, letting the comfort come without any regard to what happened last week. It hardly matters, really, in the grand scheme of things. And it doesn't seem to matter to him, either—he's here, he came to be here if I needed help. It doesn't matter, not even the slightest bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so we all probably saw this coming, but I saw it coming when the first break-in happened, lol. I can't say much more without revealing too much, so I'll just leave it at that for now!
> 
> Also... I had a very discouraging conversation with someone earlier today, that led to a pretty bad mood tonight. I didn't want to let that stop me from pumping out another chapter that I was excited to write, but it was harder than usual to stay focused. So if you guys like the story so far, I could really use the kind words today, of all days... Apart from that, thank you all so much for reading and being supportive thus far. I appreciate it immensely. Til next time. :)


	24. Chapter 24

I've spent the whole night crying. It's half-past one in the morning now, and I'm still wide awake. Loki brought me back to their apartment before anyone else got home, and after situating in the same guest bedroom, I've pretty much been crying since we got here. I've heard of apartments and houses getting broken in to, but I never realized how much of a traumatic experience it can be—and to have those men come pounding at my door like that? That just adds an extra layer of feeling violated.

At some point I hear the front door open and close, and I know the others are back. The subsequent murmur in the living room, and quiet knock at my door further proves that everyone knows exactly what happened tonight.

"Come in," I mumble.

The doorknob twists, and Thor comes in—followed by Loki.

"Cerys," Thor says as he saunters over and kneels before me—no 'lady' this time. I hardly look like a lady right now, albeit. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm better," I say softly with a nod. "Thanks for checking on me, and for letting me stay here... I'm so sorry this keeps happening. I promise I'll... I'll figure something out soon with my housing. I'll just.." my voice trails off as the tears come on.

"Please don't apologize," Thor interjects solemnly. "This home is a refuge to us as well—you're welcome to stay as long as you need to."

Tears spring to my eyes as I nod earnestly, and cover my mouth with my fingers.

" _Oh, no—_ come, no need for that anymore, now," he croons as he stands, lifting me up by the arm and opening his arms to give me a hug. I return it in equal measure—thankful for the care and hospitality.

"It's good my brother was there to help," he adds as he pulls away. I watch as he furrows a brow concernedly, still holding onto my shoulders as I steady myself, and sit back down on the bed. "He mentioned there were some men at your door as well—who were they?"

I nod solemnly. "Yeah," I breathe out. "We saw them when we were at the Gala. They seemed like they were watching us and stuff, I didn't really think all that much of it at the time, but... I think if Loki hadn't shown up," I pause, glancing at Loki. "Something worse would've happened."

Thor nods quietly for a moment, and pauses before looking to his brother—exchanging a purposeful glance with him. "Well they're welcome to knock at our door—aren't they, brother?" he says slowly with a hint of care, no doubt trying to muster some confidence in me. "We haven't seen a good fight in... How long has it been, now?"

"Six months," Loki responds matter-of-factly, still looking down at me—and the scintilla of shared effort between the two of them makes me grin.

I laugh as I wipe the stray tears from my cheeks. "Thank you guys..." I snap my head up suddenly. "Oh—how was Pepper doing before you left? Did she say anything?"

Thor exhales. "Well, she was concerned of course—though I believe she was more distressed that you refrained from asking her help."

I sigh. "Yeah, I guess I understand that... If something happened to her or Tony, I'd want to help too."

"She said that as well," Thor adds solemnly. "You should give her a call tomorrow."

"I know," I nod. "I will."

Lies. I'll text her to let her know everything is okay, that I'm okay, but I don't want to burden her with problems that aren't hers. At least, that's my way of showing love.

I glance up, seeing Loki's eyes soften slightly—though his demeanor remains otherwise stern as he stands there, arms crossed and back straightened.

"Yeah, so... Yeah, I'll call her tomorrow," I add with a nod. "I'll probably sleep in, but I'll call..." my voice trails off as I turn slightly in place, looking about the room as though I'm contemplating tomorrow's events. "Maybe before I go in to the studio..."

"The studio?" Thor asks. "Would you not rather stay home and rest?"

I sigh, shaking my head as I wave a hand through the air. "I don't know... I've been thinking about it a bit, and... I just think I should go anyway. I think doing something normal would help."

Thor nods. "Very well. Though, I advise you to be careful—try to refrain from walking alone in the evenings."

"Yeah, I generally do," I say.

"I would offer to come meet you with the others," Thor asks. "But we've matters to attend to tomorrow—do you have someone to walk with you?"

"She does," Loki chimes in, and we both give him a sidelong glance. My cheeks flush slightly in a pulse of anticipation, though his gaze is steady and intent—lacking any hint of personal care. "I will accompany her."

I knit my brows together. "You... No, you shouldn't, I'll probably be there for a few hours."

"Allow me to clarify," he says, tilting his head. "I will accompany you home."

I part my lips reluctantly, looking between them for a moment. "Well, I... I guess, if you want to."

Thor nods emphatically in agreement. "Yes—it's a good idea," he says, and exchanges glances with Loki for a moment, who stares back at him blankly.

Thor's gaze drops down briefly, and his head bobs subtly after a moment of some unspoken exchange between them.

"Well, I..." Thor pauses, glancing back at me. "I suppose I'll take my leave, then. You should try to get some rest, Cerys."

"I will, thank you Thor." I stand, and give him a warm grin.

He returns it, and bobs his head as he raises his arms up for another hug. The grin grows into a grateful smile as I pat his shoulder lightly before pulling back.

Thor looks between us for a moment before he nods, and gives us both a grin before he turns to leave the room. "Good night—to both of you," he says, and I raise a brow as he closes the door behind him.

Loki looks back at me, and silence passes between us for a moment.

"Tomorrow, then," he says coolly. "I shall meet you at your studio."

"Yeah," I bob my head. "But... Loki?"

He blinks, remaining silent. I slump just a little, loosening my grasp on my own emotions a bit—just enough to express my gratitude.

"Thank you so much for helping me," I murmur sincerely.

A hint of softness slackens the tension around his eyes, and he nods. "Sure."

***

Loki isn't around by the time I wake up, sometime around noon. He'd gone with the Asgardians to check on some of their people—check in and whatnot, make sure everyone's doing alright. I help myself to some of the contents of the fridge, knowing I'll play a role in replenishing them soon, and spend the day lounging on one of the soft, white leather couches.

I've opted to give myself a day or two before throwing myself into a heated negotiation with my landlord. Since the first break-in, I'd made sure to keep all the windows and doors closed and locked. I have the one and only key to my apartment, so if someone was able to enter the complex, the landlord is responsible—should be enough to get me out of my lease.

After several hours' worth of internet research, a lengthy phone call to my worried parents, and a lengthy lunch, I finally set my laptop down on the coffee table and get ready to head out to the studio. So, I put on the usual—my thickest black leggings, a tank top, and an additional hoodie to wear under the coat that goes on top.

Even in the light of day, walking around by myself outside makes me nervous. I find myself looking over my shoulder every other minute or so, and keeping my eyes peeled all the way until the studio. I'd called in earlier in the day, amidst the apartment calls, and mentioned to Janice—our administrative assistant—everything that happened. She put me on the phone with James, and James was surprisingly understanding about what happened. I was free to go and use one of the smaller stages. He made it clear that I'd only get today to do that though, since it's the first day of the season, and we're all just focusing on getting back in the groove.

James had asked me to stop by the main studio for a special announcement, and after that I was free to go and use one of the smaller stages. I'd only get today to do that though, since it's the first day of the season, and we're all just focusing on getting back in the groove of dance and song.

When I get to the main studio, I see roughly everyone that was in the festival show with me. And although I missed them all quite a bit, the greetings that ensue feel much more forced on my end. Could be from a lack of sleep, or maybe stress—probably a combination of the two.

"Hey everyone, if I can have your attention please," James' voice greets us all from the far end of the large room. "I'm glad to see everyone back after our big break. We are going to jump right back into it, but you'll have all of today to catch up and warm up. Though I am still hoping all of you still took plenty of time to keep in shape..."

As we all listen to him drawl on his typical intro to the season, my eyes eventually start drifting metaphorically in separate directions. He doesn't dismiss us until I'm nearly at the point of counting seconds, and through the brief conversations that ensue right after, I finally get the chance to tear away from the company—my energy-to-socialize meter desperately imploring me to stop its depletion.

I make my way to the main _stage_ , which I know is going to be empty. Not only that, but it's also closest to the tiny courtyard where I'd agreed to meet with Loki after.

The silence is penetrating as I saunter over to the center of the stage, away from the little control panel—where my phone is hooked up and ready to got go with a three-hour playlist. Of course, I don't spend the next three hours dancing back to back—not in my current, fatigued state—but it feels good to let off some steam. Singing along, losing myself in the movements... It's like hitting a reset button, like every ounce of tension is unhinged with every note that flows out of my throat and swift movement purging it from my muscle.

And being alone in here means no holding back, which makes it even more amazing—easier to let go, to let the energy flow and whisk me away to a solitary place where only the vibrations of the music cut through the magic.

At least, until I realize I'm not alone.

I'm not sure how long he's been there, but the moment I see his shadow shifting along the seats—leaning his temple against his fingers—in the back of the auditorium, I come to an abrupt stop. My voice snaps into silence after the final note of the chorus of 'Shatter Me' by Lindsey Stirling, and the momentum of the spin I'd been in the middle of causes me to stumble over a bit, until I'm steady enough to peer up into what I know is a pair of bright, emerald eyes.

I turn my head sharply, glancing back at him once before running over to the power box and shutting off the music—poking my head back out behind the curtain to be sure he's actually there before strolling back to the center. I hadn't even realized that three hours had gone by already."

"Loki?" I call out to him.

"Yes?" I hear his baritone voice reverberating tautly through the empty hall.

"How long have you been up there?" I ask, feeling a slight flutter in my chest as I peer up at his form.

A pause. "Long enough," he responds with a hint of sarcasm.

I grin. "Well, come down here!"

Loki doesn't respond, but I can see him stand and stride across the row. I prop my heads against my hips as I watch him descend with his hands in his leather pockets, and I glance between him and the door he must've entered through.

"How did you know I was in here?"

"Age-old method by now," he says wryly, sauntering up to the stage with a casual expression.

My eyes widen slightly with realization. "What— you 'felt the humming,' again?"

Loki crinkles his brow as he bobs his head. "I'd say it was more of a wild bellowing tonight," he says, and a subtle grin tugs on the corner of his mouth—he's clearly in a good mood.

My own brow rises. "Damn, well I'm glad to hear you liked it," I say sarcastically.

From this distance, I can't tell if the movement in his shoulder is anything akin to a shrug. "I didn't say I didn't like it."

I smile as I roll my eyes. " _Right_ ," I say. "Well, if you just give me a few minutes, I'll go get my things—unless you want to come with me?"

He steps forward, and leaps onto the stage in one swift movement. "I'll come with you," he says, walking toward me.

Already, he's towering over me—more and more so as he gets closer. I swallow hard, breaking the eye contact first as I turn away, and head off stage. I slow near the control box, and give him a sidelong glance as I hear his footsteps near me.

Loki follows me as I turn and walk off, guiding us over to the backdoor leading to the hallway.

"You know," I say, looking back at him with a glimmer of concern. "If you were able to get in so quickly, then maybe..." my voice trails off.

"Maybe some unwelcome company will find their way in as well?" he mutters casually.

I nod as I open the door, and fluorescent lighting pours over both our faces. I probably look a mess, but Loki's complexion is just as smooth as it ever is.

"Perhaps," he continues. "Though you might have less cause for worry if you practice with others."

I beam at him slightly, continuing down the hallway to the locker rooms. "Well I _will_ be with the others," I say earnestly. "I just wanted to practice alone for a bit today... To clear my head."

Loki nods as I speed up a little toward the door. "Good," he says as I open it.

"So," I turn back, looking at him through the crack of the door. "Just wait out here for a minute, okay? I'll be back in a sec."

He bobs his head, and I disappear behind the door for a moment.

"Who the hell is _that_?"

I jump at a sudden voice appearing behind me, and I turn to see two other girls in there with me. Karine in particular is speaking, but all of them have the same amusement splattered across their expressions—which is amusing, considering their shared brunette locks and relatively similar build.

"Oh," I smile, feeling a tinge of color rising in my cheeks. "Just a friend," I say, waving a hand through the air.

"Well, your friend's hot," says Martha in her naturally deep voice, crinkling her nose emphatically.

"Dibs," Karine responds laughingly as she looks over at Martha.

I press my lips together to keep from chuckling as I sneak through them, not bothering to subdue the wide grin growing in my expression. "Well, go for it," I say sarcastically as I walk over to my locker.

"Wait—what is that look?" Martha's voice lightens as I continue on—face hidden by my backside. Silence befalls us for half an instant, broken only by Martha's croon. "Oohhhhhh wait, no... No, that's not it—I get it now."

I look at her. "Get what?"

"He's not a friend, he's a ' _friend,'_ isn't he?" she asks, emphasizing the word.

"What?" I shake my head, but not the smile on my face. "No—he's _actually_ just a friend _."_

Martha snorts. "Yeah, okay," she says, crossing her arms as she wanders off to her own locker.

"What?" I shrug as I look at her, and then back at Karine.

Martha chuckles a bit before gesturing to me. "Not gonna lie dude, your face is giving you away."

My grin falters a bit, and I press a hand to my cheek—it's hot. Which probably means it's red—which means I need to take a few deep breathes imperceptibly as I saunter back across the room.

"Yeah, don't even," I shake my head as I saunter toward the girl.

" _Will do,_ " Martha teases as she notices me stalking toward the door.

"Oh shuddup!" I hiss laughingly at her as I turn the doorknob—aching amusedly to remove myself from the situation—and let the subtle breeze of stepping through the hallway further cool my cheeks. Loki's brow rises as he looks back over at me, eyeing me head to toe as I shut the door behind me.

"Won't be cold in that?"

"Hm?" I widen my eyes, then glance down at the purse I'd retrieved from the locker. "Oh damn it," I murmur, and turn back to the door—I forgot to grab my coat.

I jog briskly to my locker and back across the room again—leaving no time for further teasing I make my way back out to Loki, though Martha and Karine seem to have gone off into their own conversation anyway.

Back in the hallway, I savor the last bit of warmth in my cheeks as the cold, night air hits me like a brick wall once we're outside. Loki keeps up with me easily as I break off into a brisk walking pace—heels clicking against the sidewalk much more loudly as a result. After a few moments of energy expenditure, I feel a familiar rumble in my stomach.

"Do you want to get some food?" I turn and look over at him as we near the first corner, knowing we're about to pass by a Chinese place that marks the halfway point to Stark Tower—the halfway point to the loft as well.

"I'm not particularly hungry," he says, and glances at me plainly. "But if you are, we can stop somewhere."

I beam at him. "Awesome! Because yeah—I'm famished."

I turn and gesture down the street—at the portion lights on the sidewalk that I know are from the restaurant. "That's a pretty good place up ahead, have you ever had Chinese food?"

"Never heard of it," he says.

"Well _good_ ," I widen my eyes mischievously. "Not every day I get to introduce someone to the best takeout food in the world."

"The _best,_ is it?" he raises a brow doubtfully, still sporting a grin, and I nod enthusiastically in turn—suddenly realizing the lightness in my chest.

A lightness I hadn't expected to feel tonight, not after what I'd been through not twenty four hours earlier. My brows furrow slightly as I look away, processing the sudden realization, and I'm not sure where it's coming from; today's practice, the thought of going home to a group of friends, or... Loki.

"Everything alright?" his voice suddenly draws me back.

"Oh, yeah," I say earnestly. "I just... zoned out a little there."

"What does that mean?"

I chuckle, shaking my head as I look back at the restaurant. "Don't worry about it," I say, slowing down demonstrably as we near the door. "This is the place—are you ready for this?"

My brows rise amusedly as I watch him study the signs intently. "We shall see," he says—in a purposefully ominous tone that makes me grin.

"Come on," I cock my head in the door's direction before reaching out for the doorknob and opening it.

A waiter seats us as soon as we walk in, though he lets us choose where to sit—I choose a booth way off in the corner, next to a window. I slow down a little to let Loki choose his spot first, and after glancing between the booth and the window, he choose to sit adjacent to it—leaving me the spot that faces the outside. I soften inwardly—wondering whether or not he had the same thought I did, to let the other have the view.

Loki ends up ordering the same thing I do—sweet and sour chicken—and I ask for a large bowl of hot and sour soup to split between us. The food comes quicker than I expected, and it doesn't take long for the subtle look of confusion and awe to appear in Loki's expression as he watches me power through my meal. With mindful manners of course, just with unprecedented speed.

I smile as soon as I recognize it, and lift the back of my hand up to my mouth to keep steady—and keep from laughing with food in my mouth. "Sorry," I say, after swallowing a mouthful. "Dancing really works up an appetite."

Loki smirks. _"Clearly,_ " he says, and his eyes drop down to his quarter-empty plate as he continues eating.

"What do you think of the food?" I ask.

Loki sits back against the booth, chewing slowly as he exhales through his nostrils, and peers across the table at me.

"It's acceptable," he says finally, finishing off the bite.

I grin, but it doesn't quite meet my eyes as I look him over. "You know, I really appreciate this," I say, and Loki's brow flickers slightly. "Coming to walk me home, and all."

His eyes drop down to my plate thoughtfully for a moment, and he glances briefly to the side before looking back at me. "It's no trouble," he says.

I nod. "Well, still."

Movement ripples across his jaw as he eyes me intently—almost as though he's considering his next words careful. "Don't be too appreciative," he says matter-of-factly, his gaze dropping down to his plate.

I tilt my head slightly. "Why not?"

"It's not _just_ for you," he says blankly, looking down at his food as he takes another mouthful.

"No?"

"No," he looks up at me, and pauses for a moment. "I don't particularly enjoy being in that apartment all hours of the day."

I lower my chin, pulling my lip back. "I'm not surprised to hear that, to be honest."

"It'd be strange if you were," Loki says casually.

"Probably," I agree. "I'm just not sure why."

"And again—it'd be strange if you were."

I exhale lightly through my nostrils—I'm curious of course, I want to ask. Want to ask why there's this obvious rift between him and the Asgardians, and why he feels the need to conceal himself and be so... _quiet_ around them.

But I won't push. I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's not interested in discussing the matter, so I won't press it.

"Well," I say. "You don't need a reason to go out with me. That's what... friends do, isn't it?"

I stumble at the word— _friends—_ but only inwardly. Despite that though, the flicker of movement in Loki's jaw suggests that he might've noticed it anyway. The glance that follows is neither bitter, nor confused—simply plain.

"Yes," he says blankly, and nods. "I appreciate the offer."

The offer to be friends. I grin, though I wonder if it looks as insincere as it feels. On some level, I've grown to care about his wellbeing, and clearly he's grown to care about mine as well—and it's probably best to leave it at that. It wouldn't be worth it to ruin that _and more_ by making something else of it, wouldn't be worth making things more difficult and complicated than they have to be—most _especially_ now that we're living under the same roof for the time being, and have such a harmonious flow within our circle of friends. Which would undoubtedly dissolve if things turned sour between the two of us.

Loki had looked back down at his plate when my mind began reeling again with mental diarrhea, and I shake my head briskly—realizing suddenly that I'd been staring at him. My eyes drop back down to my plate, and the disappointment that settles into my chest is hardly due to the half-emptiness upon it—or the brittle mood that lingers through the rest of the evening. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I wanted to pop in and say sorry about my little hiatus, it's been an insane week and I basically had to write this chapter in pieces. I went skiing, drove back home from the mountains (nearly fourteen hours total), cooked and cleaned and drove around some more for the holidays, and now I'm packing up my apartment to move ten hours away again tomorrow. Will probably be up all night tomorrow night. My boyfriend's currently in the living room tearing apart a couch that we're not going to keep, so I had some time to come on here and finish writing this chapter. So many boxes surrounding me right now. Madness. >.<
> 
> Anywho, I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter - we're going to see some action in the next chapter, and then some other kind of action soon after, if you know what I mean. ;) 
> 
> One last big, big thank you to my commenters! Some of your comments are so thoughtful, they really get the engine going in terms of ideas to think about. But all in all, you guys keep me coming back to this story with fun and excitement. Thank you all - til next time, and happy holidays! :)


	25. Chapter 25

Almost every day for the past several weeks, Loki's been walking back with me from the studio. It was a little disconcerting at first, to be so burdensome, but I think we both look forward to it now—that little bit of downtime at the end of the day, when we can stroll through downtown.

He becomes easier and easier to talk to with each passing day, and resultantly, I've been learning more about Asgard and some of their heritage. Though I've yet to learn much about his history with Thor—why that tension continues to linger between them. I would never press for that insight of course, that can come in its own time—if at all.

Today's the first night in quite some time that he won't be walking me home—some prior commitment he'd had with the other Asgardians. He wanted me to wait, but it would've been three extra hours of sitting around in the studio. I decided it wasn't worth it, especially since the apartment really isn't _all_ that far from the studio. Perks of living in a city.

Admittedly, I almost feel naked walking around the streets without him. Like some essential part of my routine—of me—has suddenly gone missing, and the streets seem a little bit quieter without him, despite the fact that they're just as busy and bustling as they always are. A twinge of sadness tugs at my chest the entire way back, serving no other purpose than being outrageously annoying and putting me in a sour mood.

It leaves me annoyed at everything, really—even the weather. The nights are getting warmer, and I should've known better than to wear such a heavy coat. I huff frustratedly as I turn a corner down a smaller street—two minutes away from the apartment—and let my purse string drop down to my elbow as I start taking off the jacket. Plenty of room to stretch my arms out to do so on this street, as I leave behind one crowd to approach the next one on the other side, between the buildings.

A sudden jerk against the string makes me gasp.

Before I can look to my left, a pair of fingers bear down on some point in my shoulder that blows the consciousness straight out of me.

"Let Alastair know we've got her..." I hear a voice as my vision fades to black.

***

Alastair.

It's the first word to appear in my mind as I slowly come to. The ground is hard against my backside, but as I drift slowly out of sleep, it seems much more comfortable than it actually is. At least, until I'm more awake—then the aching parts of my body slowly rear their angry heads, letting me know just how uncomfortably I've been laying in this place.

This place... _What is this place?_

I lift myself up off the floor of what looks like a cell, propping myself against the ground with my elbow as I look around. A tall glass door is before me, and the cell itself is an ambient blue, with nothing but a bench built into the wall behind me.

I shift over and lay a hand on it, slowly lifting myself onto it. A beeping noise catches my attention, coming from the wall beyond the glass, and I look up to see a small heart monitor built into the wall. A flashing blue light draws my attention back down to my arm, where I notice the smallest device lodged against the skin of my wrist.

Not a moment later, voices start to sound in the hallway—followed by footsteps. My pulse quickens sharply as they approach, and I straighten up against the wall, lifting my foot up onto the bench to push against it.

The plain, dark room beyond the glass yields a pair of sliding doors that open on the other side, and two men stride in through it—eyeing me intently amidst their hushed conversation.

One is wearing a lab coat, while the other a suit—I don't recognize either of them, and my eyes jump between their faces as they murmur quietly to each other before turning to me.

"Cerys Adelin," says the man in the white coat. "I'm Alastair, it's good to finally meet you."

My chest rises and falls, and the air blows past my lips as I stiffen against the wall. By the way they're staring at me, I hardly dare to move—not with the twisting feeling in my gut, telling me it might encourage them to attack me.

After a moment of silence, I realize they're waiting for me to speak. "Wh..." the sound comes out of me with a breath, and it takes every ounce of strength in my body to remain calm enough to squeeze out some words. "Where am I?"

"You're at A.I.M headquarters," Alastair says matter-of-factly, and the realization bolts through me that if they're so willing to give me that information, they must not be expecting me to go anywhere anytime soon.

"What... What is that?" I ask, my voice trembling as I fight back the tears. And fuck, is it hard—it'd be so much easier to loosen the control, to let it all out to someone somewhere in this building that might be willing to help. At the very least, I imagine it might stop the nervous tremors barreling through my limbs.

"Advanced Idea Mechanics," he says, and lifts up a hand. "Oh and don't be nervous, we're not going to hurt you here, per say—as long as you cooperate with us."

My brows narrow confusedly, and that's enough for him to continue. "Well there's not many of you left, you see. So we'll be delicate until you give us reason not to be. You can think of us as your fans—we just want to learn off you."

I shake my head. " _What?_ " the word comes out in a breath. "Not... Many of... _what!?_ "

Alastair shrugs wryly. "Sirens, obviously."

Still pressing up against the wall, my brows rise sharply. The word echoes in my head as my thoughts jump back to my childhood cartoons—The Little Mermaid, Sinbad... _Cartoons. Sirens!?_

I take a deep breath, gathering myself—the pointed direction in the conversation helping me put together my thoughts a tad more coherently. _"_ What... _What the hell are you talking about!?_ "

"Exactly that," he says, gesturing to me. "You've nothing to fear from us at all. We've just got a couple of things we'd like to learn from you, and then we'll be happy to hand you back to S.H.I.E.L.D—provided you're alright with having your memory wiped. Otherwise, you can bunk with us forever."

I realize then that Alastair is like a crueler version of Tony. The flatness, the blunt demeanor...

"Wait, what do you..." I pause. "What do you mean ' _hand me back to S.H.I.E.L.D?_ '" I shake my head. "I've got nothing to do with them."

He scoffs. "Is that so?" he says. "So you never stopped to think why you became such fast friends with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts?"

My chin pulls back. "What? They're... They're not S.H.I.E.L.D agents."

"No," he says. "But who do you think they've been working for all this time?"

"They don't work _for_ anyone," I protest, but I can feel my own voice faltering—from confusion, from fear, from faith... I can't tell which one.

"So it's just an odd coincidence that they happened to ship you off to Switzerland the last time we planned this operation?"

Something of a mental brick hits me suddenly. "What... What operation?"

Alastair pulls a small chip from his pocket, and I flinch as he tosses it toward the glass. Before the chip hits it though, a plethora of screens and images burst from it—projecting onto the glass.

My stomach drops.

Pictures. _So many pictures._ Pictures of me, pictures of mission directives, pictures of the Asgardians—of Pepper and Tony even, staring suspiciously at the camera that took the snapshot of them. It must've been a street camera, I've never seen Tony look at any reporter like that. And Loki—something warm and sad and frightened seeps through my chest as I peer at the image of Loki.

I'd give anything— _anything—_ to see him walk through that door behind them. To have him come and scoop me up, to take me away from here and just... Stay with me somewhere safe.

But I've no idea if anyone's even realized I'm missing. If they have, I can scarcely imagine what Loki's thinking and feeling—all that effort to watch out for me, all for nothing...

My eyes jump back to Pepper. My best friend—staring coldly at the camera. "Pepper..." I whisper.

"Pepper Potts," says Alastair, and I look at him through the transparent images. "Yeah, she was a tough cookie to get around. She's a scrappy one, I'll give Stark that one—I'm not surprised he recommended her for the job."

_The job..._

I shake my head—I can't believe it, I won't believe it. All the laughs we'd shared, all the moments, the gifts, the secrets—no, all of that had to be real. Laughing at the idea of Tony in a dress, the smile on Pepper's face when I opened her Christmas present... It couldn't all be just a hoax, you can't fake friendship like that.

But here it is... All the pictures—are those really proof, though? I knew that Pepper and Tony worked _with_ S.H.I.E.L.D, but is any of this proof of what Alastair is saying about how any of it relates to me?

  
I shake my head. "No.. No, I... I don't believe you."

Alastair shrugs. "Well, you don't have to believe me," he says casually, and then to the suited man beside him, cocking his head in my direction.

The man nods, and steps over to the heart monitor, placing a thumb over it. I gasp as the glass wall disappears, and fear courses through me as he strides straight toward me—grabbing me by the arm.

Alastair turns toward the door, pulling a hand on his pocket. "Remember now, I did tell you that we'd be gentle if you cooperated—don't make this more difficult than it has to be. In fact, these next few months might be fun for all of us, if you let it!"

 _Months..._ My breath hitches in my throat, and I struggle as the man pulls me off the bench and drags me across the room. My knees feel weak and shaky from the fear, and I cry out as he twists my arm slightly—forcing me to _cooperate_ as he drags me down the hallway.

They bring me to a chamber at the very end, and upon entering, I can tell that it's vast—though only a portion of it is visible before me. A chair at the center is illuminated by a single beam of light from the ceiling, and my heart races wildly as he throws me onto the chair and straps me in. Alastair's disappeared somewhere, and I only hear his voice after a moment.

"Now Cerys," his voice echoes against the domed walls as the man rotates some clawed device attached to the back of the chair, and pushes my forehead back against it as he secures the claws around my neck. "We're going to start the show with something really simple—all we need you to do is talk. You can sing if you want to, but talking's all we really need. Crying works too, but that'll just ruin everyone's mood, if you know what I mean."

As I struggle against the bindings, a single tear streams down the side of my cheek as sharp metal presses into my skin, causing a small whimper to escape my throat. Even that small sound alone seems to reverberate through the hall, and a pulse of electricity explodes through a small node at my throat—coursing through my body and making my vision flash blue.

My stomach twists and turns, and my body aches to move—just move, anything to not feel so trapped and bound by this horrifying chair.

"Talk, Cerys," I hear Alastair's voice again. "Tell me when you met Pepper Potts."

I clench my jaw.

"Don't make this difficult," he says. "It can get a lot worse, trust me."

I let out a fearful breath, feeling the tears rise. Someone has to help me, someone has to be looking for me—they have to know I'm missing. One of the Asgardians, just one of them—

Heimdall.

My eyes burst open.

Heimdall—I remember, remember Loki telling me about him, that he was the gatekeeper at Asgard, that he had the power of seeing throughout the universe. Maybe he can see me, maybe with some help—

" _Heimdall,_ " I whisper, as another tear drains from the corner of my eye. "Heimdall, help m—"

I scream at a bolt of electricity cutting violently through my body. Like having every last muscle fiber sliced mercilessly.

"None of that, Cerys," Alastair says sternly. "Answer my question. That's your last warning."

I can barely move, but that doesn't stop my chest from heaving. I squeeze my eyes shut, letting the tears fall—I have to do it... Maybe if I cooperate... Maybe, I can get out of this.

"The..." I breathe out. "The show... I met her at the show."

***

  
  
I've no idea how long I've been here. There isn't a clock in here, or even a window for me to count the passing days with. After a while, I figured that nighttime came when people stopped visiting my cell for several hours. And the only time I get taken out of it myself is for more experiments.

At least, that's what I think they are—they've made me hum, they've made me talk... They've even made me scream. Their methods—unspeakable torment. Alastair wasn't lying when he said they'd be gentle as long as I'd cooperate—the punishments for deviating were even worse. Having a knife pressed against my abdomen to the point of blood—verses a burning poker being pressed against my backside, for the simple crime of refusing to answer a question.

After what I thought was nearing two weeks, I started losing track of the number of times that hours flew by without any visitors. It all faded to a blur, so I've no idea now, just how long they've been doing this to me. Numbness has begun settling in, and footsteps in the hall don't make me jump the way they used to.

My eyes open slowly as the glass slides down, and I shift slowly—too slowly for whoever grabs my arm and hauls me off the bench. I don't bother to eye the suited man as he drags me down the hall, and then down another hall. There's a sphere in the room he brings me to next, and something inside me winces—they had me in here some time ago already. The bubble reverberates my own voice off the glass, making it louder somehow, to see how much my ears can tolerate.

"Good morning, Cerys!" I hear Alastair's chipper voice from off to the side—where the computers are. "Ready for another day at work?"

I look at him, feeling bile and contempt rising in my throat—I'd throw him a vulgar gesture if I didn't think it would end with fiery pain.

Another man approaches me from behind, and takes me by the arm—guiding me gently to the sphere.

Halfway to the center of the vast hall, he mutters my name imperceptibly. "Cerys." I turn my gaze slowly up to him, hardly seeing his full expression. "Don't make a sound."

I furrow a brow as I look up at him—I definitely don't know him, but he's much more gentle than any of the other workers here.

He closes the door behind him, leaving me in the sphere. As I turn slowly, the light of the device reveals a pair of bright, green eyes peering up at me softly from the bottom of the stairs.

A different type of light flickers in my chest as I peer down at him—at the first expression of softness I've seen looking back at me in who knows how long.

 _Loki?_ I feel my lips mouth his name slightly, and if I'd had more energy, I might've said it out loud by accident.

Hope seeps through me as I watch him walk back to the doors and stand beside one of the guards, even as the machine hums to life around me. There's a pair of guards standing on either side of the doors, and another coated figure saunters past them—taking his place on the opposite side.

"Go ahead," Alastair's voice echoes through the speakers.

I wince, keeping my gaze fixed on those green eyes. They narrow to a feral gaze as he turns his head toward the guard, and with a flash of light, Loki and Thor appear inside the room—shedding their disguises as they turn and drop the guards on either side of the door.

Alastair jumps out of his chair, jolting the 'off' switch back in the process, and the machine dies down again. The humming sound subsides, and the latch on the door turns green. My eyes jump down to it, but back up to Alastair as he fumbles over to the edge of the counter, pressing a button and mumbling into the speaker beside it.

A dagger materializes in Loki's hand, and with a brisk, skillful movement, he throws it straight into Alastair's shoulder. My eyes dart between them, until Thor's bellowing voice thunders over Alastair's cry throughout the room. "

Cerys!" I look at him as he gestures to me from beyond the glass, and bolt toward the door, pushing open the glass.

"You're here," I look up at him, and Loki, as he runs to my side. "Loki..." I whisper as he takes my arm, and I step toward him as Thor runs back to the door—checking around the corners. " _Loki..._ " I whisper again, laying a hand on his shoulder, letting it move up his neck and to his jaw.

A glimmer of pain passes over his taut expression at the trembling touch, but it disappears in a heartbeat. "Later," he growls, squeezing both my arms as he leans into me—close enough to feel his breath on my lips. "We have to go."

" _Now!_ " I hear Thor call to us. "While we've a chance, the others are outside!"

Loki turns his head toward his brother and nods before looking back at me. "Let's go," he lowers his chin, and tugs me toward the door.

It takes me a moment to realize that this is actually happening—that it's not some cruel hallucination, that I won't wake up back in my cell, staring up at the ceiling. Every pinch, bump, and thump of my feet against the floor brings me closer to acceptance of my wakened state.

I barely get the chance to marvel inwardly at the realization before Loki's head turns sharply in my direction. I look up to see him staring past me, and quick as a heartbeat, he reaches out and grabs me in his arms—pulling me to him as he pivots away.

Some invisible force explodes behind us—against his backside—but his grip remains tight around me as my backside presses into his front. The subsequent sound of his pained cry shatters me, tears my heart out as I feel his breath against my neck, and the side of his face pressing against my ear. His right hand rises up to cradle the other side of my head protectively—fingers tangling in my hair as he looks back sharply—toward the source of the explosion.

Burnt flesh sears my nostrils, and I look up to see slivers of wetness trailing along the top of Loki's left shoulder. " _Oh my God,_ " I whisper, barely minding the blue, flaming figure approaching us from behind him.

My eyes widen as it gets close enough for me to finally feel its heat against my skin, and I cry out as something tears Loki away from me sharply. "NO!" I scream as I watch some mechanical being pulling him back, while another grabs me from behind and pulls me away.

I hear a familiar voice grunt at the door, and turn to see Alastair stumble through it—a cruel expression on his face as he looks between us. "Fucking S.H.I.E.L.D..."

I look back at Thor, who's glaring angrily at a figure I now realize is standing just beside me—holding a knife pointedly at my throat, ready to cut me down if Thor makes a move.

"So Fury sent _you two_ , huh?" Alastair growls as he approaches us—Loki and Thor remain silent. "Didn't think he'd be that stupid, I thought he'd bring more of a fight!" he laughs. "Those shitheads think they're the only ones with superhumans?" he gestures to the flaming figure. "Get rid of them!"

My head snaps to Loki, and my eyes widen as the fiery creature approaches him—reaching over with a long, flaming arm that singes his clothes as it gets close. At the first sound of Loki's pained gasp for air, something inside me snaps.

My whole body tenses in a flash, electricity bolts through my muscles, building in my chest... "STOP!!!" I scream out.

The creature stops, stumbling back—along with the two mechanical figures that had been standing on either side of me. And the sound that explodes from my throat is... Unrecognizable. My voice, but it's paired dual set of higher and lower chords, pouring out with a force that jolts through those intended—all but Loki and Thor.

My entire upper body vibrates with it, and energy floats amidst my state of seeing red. They regain their composure after a brief instant, and many of the figures around us bolt toward me immediately.

"NO!" Loki exclaims, and makes toward me—cast back by a blue, flaming arm that explodes against his side, and sends him flying through the air, obliterating his shoulder even further.

"STOP!!!" I exclaim again as the creature steps toward him, and everyone in the room falters again. "YOU LET US GO!" the voice—the energy—explodes with every word, commanding each and every one of them to the ground—save for Loki, Thor, and the creature—who, in its massive resilience, attempts another step toward me. Red blisters in my vision as I scream out at it with every bit of pent up rage and pain that's been simmering inside me.

The creature stumbles back amidst my cry, and the low, rumbling sound of the its bellow is matched only by the sound of Alastair's agonizing sob. As the last drops of energy in my body pour out, I gasp—falling back into an abrupt silence as I stumble in place, giving Alastair a sidelong glance and seeing him crumpled to the ground, tears of blood streaming out of his eyes and ears.

"Cerys!" I hear Loki call out to me, and turn back to see him running toward me, grasping his bloodied shoulder.   
  
Through the ringing in my ear and dazed state, I hadn't even realized I'd been falling—not until I watch Loki drop to his knees, matching my descent as he extends his wounded arm and catches me. His face contorts violently with pain as he hovers over me, and a single twinge of hurt and love zips agonizingly through my chest at the sight of it.

He came for me... They all did. But he protected me—or that would've been my shoulder, and I probably would've been dead in minutes from losing so much blood.

I'd cry if I could bear it, if I had enough energy to bear it... But my eyes are barely staying open—barely allowing me to look at him, despite the burning in my chest begging the rest of me to stay awake, to keep looking at him, taking in more of him. It couldn't ask for more, couldn't ask my arms to be strong enough to grab him, to pull him closer and never let him go. I can't do any of it—I just have to make it back. _We_ need to make it back, so I can let him know...

His head snaps up at the sound of Thor's deep voice approaching us, and another, stronger pair of arms grasp me tightly—though I can't make out the words being said between them both. I only feel myself hover in his arms for a moment, before my vision fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o
> 
> Guys. You guys should be so excited for the next chapter. At least, I HOPE this one got you excited for the next one! I dropped a hint in my last AN about what's going to happen in these chapters, and... Well, I think by now you all have been really looking forward to what comes next. Thank you guys so much for reading and for interacting with me about the story-honestly, I've been pumped for these past few chapters because I know all the secrets of the story, but also because I really, really hope that I managed to construct the story well enough thus far to get you guys to the same level of fangirling that I'm at. I feel like I owe it to you guys at this point--you're the best, and I love writing this for you. Til next time! :D


	26. Chapter 26

I feel myself shift uncomfortably in the bed. Even though I know the nightmares are only just that, they still terrify me. A swinging blue flame and burning rod against my backside, and—

I scream.

In the dream, I think—until a pair of arms shake me awake. “Cerys!” I hear a familiar voice, and I open my eyes to see a black shadow hovering above me.

Loki? No—Thor. Someone flips the light switch in the corner of the room, and I squint at the subsequent flash of light, still swaying atop the soft bed. Steady hands calm me, until I’m no longer moving, simply looking around the room. 

“Are you alright?” Thor asks, and his heavy breath cools my dampened cheeks.

I’d been crying—I hadn’t even realized that in the dream, but I’d been crying. I look over to see Heimdall near the door, lowering his hand from the light switch.

“ _Heimdall,_ ” I breathe out, and his brows knit together.

“Lady Cerys,” he says in a deep, compassionate voice. “Happy to see you awake.

“Cer?” I hear another, softer voice, just as I’m about to respond. 

My eyes jump to the slightly opened door behind him, and Pepper stumbles into the room. My face hardens, and by the tension that flickers in her jaw, I know she notices the change. Her lips part reluctantly as she gathers her hands in front of her.

“How… how are you feeling?” she asks, and I simply stare wordlessly. Tony appears in the doorway behind her, glancing at us both. “Are… Are you feeling okay?” she tries again.

I look between them for a moment, and tears betray the coldness in my expression as they pool in my lower eyelids.

Pretty soon, I can’t hold it in any longer, and my lip trembles as I address her. “You two…” I pause. “Did you know?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

Silence.

“Know what.” Tony asks flatly. Not aggressively—rather, searchingly.

“Did you know about…. this? Did you know that there were people after me?” 

Pepper hardly moves, aside from pressing her lips together and casting her eyes downward. I shake my head, “You knew, didn’t you?” my voice trembles. “You were… Was this a job?”

Thor’s hands slowly remove themselves from my shoulders as he pulls away, clearing the space between myself and Pepper.

Pepper shakes her head, closing her eyes as tears fall from them before looking back up at me with a nod. “I was… I _am_ your friend.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” I interject, and she blinks surprisedly at me. “But it sounds like an answer anyway—you knew, didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me!? You knew that people were after me, you knew what I was somehow, didn’t you? And you didn’t say anything!?”

“She wanted to,” Tony mumbles, stepping forward. “We both did, but… They didn’t want us to.”

“Who, S.H.I.E.L.D?”

“Yes,” he says. “I’m sorry Cerys. We—”

“ _You should’ve told me!_ ” I snap at them. “I wouldn’t have walked home alone, I would’ve waited if I thought… _Do you have any idea what they did to me!?_ ” I exclaim, and Pepper turns away—her face contorting a bit.

Tony glances at her before looking back at me solemnly. “We know.”

I lean back a little, turning my attention to Thor. “Where’s Loki?” 

“Asleep,” he says. “He’s remained so as long as you have, he’s still recovering from the…” his voice trails off.

“From the giant, flaming shit that attacked us?” I respond aggressively, looking at Tony and Pepper. I open my mouth to tell them to leave, but the sight of tears streaming down Pepper’s cheeks punches an unexpected hole in my chest—placing a brick wall against my heart’s intent to kick them out, despite the anger accompanying it in my chest.

I shake my head instead, feeling hot tears stream down my own cheeks. Is this why she was always so loving and generous toward me? Did all the secrets guilt her and Tony into it?

“Cerys,” says Thor, and I look over to meet his intent expression. “Tony and Pepper are the reason we managed to return you home. Heimdall,” Thor turns his head and glances back at him. “heard your call—but without their help, we would never have made it through those defenses. They worked tirelessly—even S.H.I.E.L.D has nary managed to accomplish such a feat.”

I drag my eyes up to them, seeing Tony lay a hand on Pepper’s shoulder. She hooks her hand over her elbow as they both peer back at me. As much as my anger wishes I wouldn’t, I feel the sincerity in the room. In Thor’s voice, their expressions. I feel it—the regret and sorrow for what I had to endure.

Tension seeps away from my cheeks and forehead as I give a subtle, understanding nod. My lips open and close a few times as I try to figure out what to say. 

“Can…” I finally start, but the sound barely escapes me as more than a whisper. “Can you guys leave us alone for a little bit?” I say, looking up at Pepper. 

She peers at me sadly, pausing for a moment before nodding to Tony.

“Come on, guys,” he says to the others, and I exchange glances with Thor and Heimdall as they ready to leave. 

We wait, watching them shut the door behind them before returning our attention to each other. Pepper sways in place for a moment before turning toward me slowly, and her shoes thump loudly against the floor as she strolls around the bed, and sits on the edge of the mattress.

“I never wanted this to happen,” she says. “You’ve got to know that.”

“I think I do. I just… I have to know if all of this—if everything you’ve ever done—did it mean anything, or was it all just part of the job?”

“Of course it did,” she says, and I can see the tears building in her eyes once more as she rotates slightly against the bed, lifting her knee onto it. “You’re still my best friend. Tony’s. And we should’ve told you. I saw the burn marks on your back,” her voice breaks. “I _never_ thought you’d through something like that…”

I peer at her sullenly as her voice trails off. “How’s Loki?” I ask in a quiet voice.

Pepper blinks, wiping away the small streams that managed to escape the corners of her eyes. “He’s fine, he… He has some burns too, but they started healing by the time we got back.”

“How long have we been back?”

“Just a day,” she murmurs.

“Okay,” I breathe out. “So he’ll be okay, too?”

“Yeah,” she nods. “I think he… I don’t know, he was really upset when you disappeared.”

I lift my head slowly. “Upset how?” I ask, feeling the tension drain slowly from my voice as we converse—barely scraping the surface of how we did before all this happened.

Pepper shakes her head. “He just… he lost it. Almost put a dent in the suit when he found out about all this, if you know what I mean.”

“Did the others know, about all this?”

“No,” she says. “Just me and Tony.”

“And…” I pause, almost afraid to ask the question. “Who asked you to do this?”

“Director Fury,” Pepper answers without hesitation. “You popped up on S.H.I.E.L.D’s radar at last year’s show. They didn’t see any intervention as necessary, but he knew we’d met, so… he asked us to keep an eye on you.”

“I see,” I say. “So that’s… Is that why S.H.I.E.L.D was at the show this year? They were watching me too?”

“Yeah,” she says softly.

I nod. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

She blinks, casting a glance down to the blanket before looking back up to me. “No, not that I can think of.” 

“Okay.” I pause. “Does anyone know when Loki might wake up?”

“I don’t think so,” she says. “At least, no one told me.”

I bob my head slightly, and silence passes between us for a moment.

“I guess I’ll just…” she pauses. “Let you get some rest.”

“Yeah… that’s probably a good idea.”.

Movement flickers in the corner of Pepper’s lip, giving somewhat of a melancholy grin as she lifts herself off the bed and heads toward the door.

She stops, looking back at me as her hand rests against the wood of the door. “We’re really glad you’re okay,” she says. “It wouldn’t be the same around here without you.”

I stare at her for a moment, feeling a lump grow in my throat as I look down at the blanket—pulling it forward as I lay back against the pillows. In the bottom half of my vision, I see Pepper stretch out an arm, flicking the light switch before shutting the door behind her.

***

I guess I shouldn’t have expected to get sleep. Of all the traumatizing experiences I’ve endured these past few months, have I ever managed to get sleep afterward? As relaxing as it is to lay in this warm, dark room, my eyes have stayed wide open for several hours now—forcing my brain to relay the images of everything that happened.

The creature, Alastair, the experiments… And Loki. His blood leaking onto me from his shoulder, his face contorting with pain…

I blink away the image, turning my toward the window. It’s the only source of light in the room, save for the alarm clock on the nightstand beside me. The numbers are glowing brightly—2:13 AM. I let out a heavy sigh, feeling frustrated at the amount of time I have left before the night is over.

A door opens in the hallway.

I turn my head back toward the sound, and sit upright in the bed. The heavy blanket folds at my waist as I listen intently—whoever’s up has just gone to the bathroom. I wait a few minutes for them to come back out, and listen for the direction of the footsteps.

Right. Loki’s room is to the right—maybe he’s awake?

I grab the corner of the blanket and toss it to the side, sliding off the mattress in my silk tank top and pajama pants as I make a beeline for the door. I take the doorknob and turn it slowly—careful not to make any excess noise. The hallway is dark, except for a light pouring into it through one of the empty thresholds—Loki’s. His door is open.

My feet shuffle quietly over the rug as I approach the doorway, carefully leaning over the edge and peering inside the room.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before—though it’s simple in ways that I might’ve expected. A simple dresser, a closet, and a bed. Loki’s bed, with a nightstand beside it. He himself is sitting atop the mattress, leaning over his elbows—which are perched against his knees—and rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

My breath hitches in my throat when I realize he isn’t wearing a shirt. But not because of the sheer sight of him, no… His shoulder; it’s rippling with scars that don’t look like they’ve fully healed yet. I grimace slightly, and my chest tightens—it must have been painful.

I step out from behind the doorway, and his brows lift with the rest of his gaze up to me in a quick movement. His hand remains suspended in the air where he’d been rubbing his brows, but whatever he’s thinking wholly disappears behind a mask of calm as he straightens up on the corner of his bed. 

I swallow hard. “Hi,” I whisper. 

Tension tugs at my chest as his eyes flicker over me. “Hi,” he responds quietly—tonelessly.

I take a step forward, into his room—slowly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone go into his room except for him, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that no one else knows its arrangement. I know it’s not the case, since there must’ve been someone coming in here to check on him, but still—it wouldn’t surprise me if he kept his door locked all this time.

“How’re you feeling?” I saunter over to him, hooking a hand over my elbow as I look down at his shoulder—fighting back the rising impulse to reach toward it in some gesture of help, or comfort at the very least. 

“I’ll survive,” he responds pointedly. “How are you feeling?”

I shrug. “Small victory that I’m still feeling, I guess.”

Loki continues staring up at me, the light from his window casting a shadow across half of his face. I gesture to his arm, “Is that going to be okay?”

He glances at it and nods. “It already is.”

I bob my head slightly, taking a step back—my heart thumping against my chest. “Okay,” I whisper. “Well I just… wanted to come and check on you. And to say thank you, for coming to get me. It was…” I pause, and Loki’s eyes narrow as he peers at me. “Just… Thank you for doing that. You’re a good friend,” I nearly choke on the word.

Loki’s brows knit together, almost confusedly—like I’d just called him some obscene name for no apparent reason. I turn to leave, but stop at the doorway, looking back at him for a moment. The look in his eyes turns to uncertainty, and flares to a keen blankness as I turn and walk back toward him.

His eyes widen slightly as I bend in front of him, leaning one hand on my knee as I take his face with the other, and press my lips against his warm cheek. My heart thuds against my chest as I pull back slowly, letting my lips drag slightly against his faint stubble. His face is blank—if not slightly uncertain—as I straighten up in front of him.

“I’m _really_ glad you’re okay,” I murmur. 

He says nothing as I step away again, only parts his lips slightly. A man of few words in tense situations I suppose, or maybe he’s just tired, and wants to be left alone. I don’t have the willpower to ask, or to push him to talk to me—not now. In as much as the impulse tore through me for a brief instant to throw myself over him, push him down against the bed and press my lips against his… I couldn’t. I couldn’t even find the courage to stand before him much longer, with his eyes on me like that. 

After all he’s had to endure because of me, the pain and injury… I’m not too sure how long I would’ve even been allowed to stay in his room. His expression was completely and utterly unreadable, and it stripped away whatever confidence I had left to offer any kind of friendship or affection to him. How else could I possibly approach him? What else could I possibly say to someone that endured that kind of injury because of me? It’s the furthest thing that a friend would cause—a liability, maybe.

I close the door behind me as I return to my room, and walk over to the bed—feeling sullen. Guilt twinges in my chest—but it doesn’t manage to linger long, before the sound of a door closing in the hallway makes me snap back to the one I’d just stepped away from.

Not a moment later, it opens again, and Loki appears in the threshold, still sporting the expression of icy calm as he steps quietly into my room, and shuts it silently behind him. 

My pulse skyrockets, and my eyes widen as I watch him glance down at the ground, and then pointedly up at me. Utter, deafening silence hardens around us for a moment, and I almost step back as Loki straightens up and stalks toward me—closing the space between us quickly.

His hands fly out and cup each side of my face, and I gasp before his lips crash into mine—capturing my breath. I snake my arms between his hands and wrap them around his shoulders, ripping my lips away for a moment to glance at his shoulder worriedly. As though he’d read my thoughts, Loki reaches up and grabs my shoulder from the back, pressing me harder against him—as though assuring me that it doesn’t cause him any pain.

His breath fans my cheeks as I pull him in, thoughts wheeling through my mind as I tangle my fingers in his hair, trying to get closer—closer and closer—until I’m certain he can feel my heart pounding against his own ribcage.

_Loki…_

He was furious that I’d been taken. Went into that place for me, protected me—let his body burn and bleed for me. This man, holding me and caressing me…

Something inside me snaps, and I pull away slightly—still panting, and keeping a hand on his bare chest as my eyes narrow lovingly at him. I take his arm and pull him in, pivoting as I shove him against the bed. Ordinarily, I know I could never push him on my own, but moves and falls easily against the edge of the mattress—all too agreeable to end up where he is, sitting on the corner of it and gazing up at me.

I don’t hesitate for a moment, too much of me is screaming and clawing to be close to him again. I lay a knee on the mattress beside him, and push him back against the blanket with my weight—laying flat atop him, and sliding my leg against his side as I slide it up over the edge of the bed.

My face dampens as my hands slide up and down the sides of his face and neck, catching a few hair strands as I invade his mouth. Loki’s hands travel up and down my waist as his tongue caresses mine sensually, and I press my entire frontside against his—inhaling sharply through my nostrils as I feel him harden underneath me.

The sound seems to snap whatever leash Loki had on himself as well, and he tears the back of my tank top, until it’s nothing but a little cloth that slips off my arms seamlessly. Strong hands press against the small of my back as Loki sits upright, and lifts a hand to grasp my neck—grabbing some hair in the process, and pulling it back gently as his lips worship my neck. Not aggressively, though—not by the gentle, yet firm way that the entirety of his cheeks and jaw join with the brushing, passionate movement of his lip.

I lower my chin, prompting him to kiss me again. Loki’s free hand drops down to the mattress as he attempts to turn me over onto it, but I pull back and grab his strong shoulder.

My other hand finds its way back to the crook of his neck. “ _No,_ ” I breathe simply against his lips as I push him back down against the bed.

Loki peers up me, his pale eyes heavy and sunken with desire, and an approving grin tugs on the corner of his damp lips. I push off the bed for a moment, grabbing my pajama pants with my toes and pulling downward—scraping them downward with my fingers at the top, and letting them fall to the ground as I kick them away.

Loki props himself up on his elbows, and his eyes widen slightly as he takes in the sight of me—nose crinkling a bit as passion flares in them. He tugs at his pants, and I barely have to give them a pull as I climb on top of him.

Our mouth smack quietly—sensually—as I pull away from the caress of his tongue. “ _Loki,_ ” I mutter against his damp lips, letting my power surge and glow with the effect I know it has on him.

Movement ripples through Loki’s brow as he opens his eyes heavily, letting out several heavy breaths. His nose crinkles after a moment. “ _Again,_ ” he murmurs, and I grin as my hand slides down the length of his torso. His breath hitches as I position myself over him.

“ _Say my name,_ ” he mumbles, a little louder this time—a little more desperate. 

I press against him slightly—holding him in place as I run my lips along his jaw. “ _Loki,_ ” my throat nearly vibrates with magic as I say it again, and smile as he lets out another breath—shutting his eyes tightly and knitting his brows together slightly, as though taking in every single bit of the sound. I know it’s magic now—even I can feel it surging between us.

His hands, which were strong and demanding just moments ago, glide lovingly against my skin as his expression relaxes. Soft, gentle lips caress my own. Still pressing against the length of him, I slide my lips off him and let out a quiet breath, letting need fill every note of my quiet voice as I slide down the length of him abruptly.

 _I love you_ —the words almost escape me. 

Loki groans sharply—letting more of the sound slip out than he’d intended—and he pants as he stiffens against me. 

“ _Gods…_ ” he whispers in a deep, hollow breath.

I capture his lips with mine, devouring the sound as I rock my hips against him slowly, pressing down and gripping the sheets so tightly, that my knuckles turn white as the sheets themselves.

I peer heavily into his emerald eyes, which narrow as he pulls me in to deepen the kiss once more. Through every movement and caress, I take in what he must’ve thought—what he must have felt while I was gone. And then, when he knew where I was… he was determined.

And thank goodness for the obscene sturdiness of this bed, which hardly makes a sound as our bodies writhe in unison, and pleasure builds beneath my navel. I pant heavily as the pleasure builds and builds—growing limp in the instant that release sends me over the edge. I pause only for a moment, before laying a trembling hand on his shoulder and lifting myself upright to rock against him. I raise my hands up to lift the hair off my wet skin, stretching to my full length above him. His hands trail up the sides of my waist, and grip me tightly in the middle.

“ _Gods, I can’t…”_ I hear him whisper, and I smile as I bite my lower lip, pressing down as I rock harder against him.Loki instantly grips my sides tightly and closes his eyes, groaning as he finds his own release. I capture his lips with my own—devouring the sound.

We pause mid-movement, our lips moving gently against each other as our shared panting dies down—the beads of sweat along our skin cooling slowly. 

When I finally slide off of him, we lay there quietly beside each other for a few minutes, staring up at the dark ceiling. I look over at Loki when he finally sits up, propping himself against an elbow as he shifts to his left—facing me.

He parts his lips to speak, but movement barely manages to ripple through his jaw as his brows rise pointedly. I smile—understanding the unspoken words—and take his face with my nearest hand, pulling his heavy weight back atop me for another kiss.

He stays with me for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> And there it is-the intimacy I was waiting to write between them. The timing felt right, and at the end of the day, Loki is still a man - known to express his feelings through intimacy. Though I will point out ahead of time that things aren't always in seventh heaven in relationships - things get difficult, and then they get better again. "Nothing is ever easy." -Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander.
> 
> I suppose I'll leave you all with that. I'm curious to hear what you all think so far, so please let me know in the comments! Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and the progression of Loki and Cerys' relationship... Til next time!


	27. Chapter 27

A heavy arm weighs on my waist as I stir the following morning. Light slowly pours over my eyes, giving my vision a red tint before I open them.

A soft breath on my neck draws my attention backward, and I turn my head to see Loki sleeping peacefully on the pillow behind me. My eyes widen as I shift slowly onto my back, and my cheeks prickle with color as images flash through my mind—images of what we’d done just a few hours ago. I don’t even remember when I managed to fall asleep, amidst the sensuous kissing that ensued after our amorous activities—I’m surprised that things didn’t go in that direction a second time.

I lay in bed staring at him for a bit, with his face half sunken into the pillow—his breath fanning my profile. The closeness renders me tempted to lean forward and kiss him, but instead, I slide slowly away from him—trying not to move the bed too much.

I don’t get far before a hand grips my wrist tightly, stopping my movement. “And where are you going?” Loki mumbles sleepily, reaching further and taking my waist—pulling me back closer to him. 

“Oh hi, I thought I’d let you sleep…” my voice trails off as he pulls me back, until my backside is resting comfortably against his front.

“ _Hm,_ ” he muses quietly in my ear, and I pull the blanket up to my chest as his hand slides down to my hips. “I prefer you here,” he murmurs lazily, and I smile as I open up my neck to him—happy to feels his lips against it, just like I’d wanted. 

I reach up, sliding my curled fingers against his jaw as he relaxes against me. We lay like that for a few moments, pressing our weights together as his lips trail the length of my neck lazily—intertwining his fingers with the backs of mine above our heads, somewhere in the pillows.

The feel of his smile against my skin kindles a small, intimate flame in me once more. “Good morning, then,” I mumble contentedly.

His lips barely manage to come up and graze mine, before I take his shoulder and flip onto him. I kiss him for a bit, enjoying the feeling of our lips moving against each other, while I trail my fingertips down his torso.

“If you’re tired, darling,” he murmurs with a grin. “There’s no need to—”

“Shush,” I whisper, before lowering myself onto him again. Loki sighs contentedly, eyelids draping as he relaxes heavily into the pillows. I hold his gaze intently, grinning warmly as I move against him. Slowly, intimately, lovingly… Blissfully.

***

The apartment seems quiet, and I’m the first to sneak into the shower, bringing my clothes with me. By the time I’m out, Loki’s made us both two cups of coffee and toast, and is sitting alone at the kitchen island.

“Where is everybody?” I ask as I approach from behind. 

Loki holds up a note between his fingers, and I don’t see the subtle smirk on his face until I walk around the corner of the island. I furrow a brow as I take the note, and Loki takes a sip of his coffee, keeping his eyes fixed on the book laying on the counter.

_Loki, Cerys -_

_I hope it’s not evening by the time you finally read this. We must return home at some point, after all. Preferably sleep at night, as well. !_

My face is hot and red by the end of the note. “Oh my _god,_ ” I set the it down and bury my face in my palms. “Were we loud? I thought we were quiet!?”

“Loud enough, apparently,” Loki says, in just about the sassiest tone I’ve ever heard him take.

“It’s not funny!” I explode laughingly.

He nods, smiling broadly. “Oh, I’d say it’s quite amusing.”

“ _Oh my god,_ ” I walk away from the counter, shaking my head as I laugh.

“Are you hungry?” he asks casually.

“What?” I turn, seeing him giving me a sidelong glance over his shoulder. My eyes flicker down to the toast and coffee I hadn’t touched, and I sigh. “Oh, the toast? I mean… I am, but… Honestly, I think I’d rather go out instead.”

He raises a brow. “Go out?”

I nod. “Yeah, go out and get some breakfast.”

Loki’s eyes flicker to the clock, and I follow his gaze, cringing a little when I see that it’s actually 2:03 PM—well past breakfast time.

“Okay—lunch, maybe?” I shrug. 

I look back at Loki, and his lips thin into an affectionate smile as he turns in his chair and closes the space between us. I bite my lip as he leans in and pecks me on the lip, “Whatever you want,” he muses in a low, smooth voice before walking by. 

_Well, sex definitely makes him more agreeable_ , I laugh inwardly. Then again, I’d be pretty grouchy too, under the circumstances he described to me.

At first, the pleasant start to the day tempts me to be a little bit adventurous, maybe go get something new, but the old temptations of familiarity end up dragging me—and him—back to the Chinese place around the corner. By Loki’s recommendation, we take a walk through Central Park next, and only start heading back to the loft when the sky becomes streaked with the sunset.

Time flew by so quickly today, I’d completely lost track of it. I had not, however, lost track of how many times the three most dangerous words slipped out of my mouth—I count three, up to this point in our conversation.

“And when exactly were you planning on telling about your plans?” he muses, and with my arm hooked around his, I grin at the way the corners of his eyes twist into a genuine smile.

“I did mention it, that night at Pepper’s house—I haven’t gone back to the studio yet, but I _really_ want to apply for that job!” I respond happily, realizing that he’s successfully managed to draw me away from the events of these past few weeks. In no small part by guiding the conversation with questions to keep my mind off specific topics.

It’s worked in part, at least. Whatever grip he’s got on me, he’s been using it to his advantage—his smile makes me smile, his laugh makes me laugh… Though when his disappears, so does mine.

Almost abruptly, at that, and I follow his gaze to the doors of our apartment, toward the sight of several S.H.I.E.L.D members guarding the entrance—Daniel, among them.

“ _I thought Thor asked Tony to move him somewhere else?_ ” I murmur quietly to Loki as we get closer to the door.

“He did,” Loki responds coldly.

“ _What the hell,_ ” I hiss imperceptibly, eyeing him angrily.

It’s been months, and there are absolutely no appropriate circumstances for Daniel to keep appearing like this. None.

Daniel looks up as soon as he notices us approaching, and pushes off the pillar he’d been leaning against as he strides away from the door—intercepting us. His eyes harden as he looks at Loki, but soften as he turns his attention to me.

“Hi, Cerys,” he says.

I don’t respond, and Loki doesn’t have to give much of a tug as we try to step past him together. 

“I heard what happened to you,” he mumbles, and Loki stops—along with me—and I can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking the same thing I am. That this really isn’t information Daniel should be spouting out in public.

I look back at him. “So what?”

“So you’re going to need protection, aren’t you?”

I shake my head briskly, “And why the hell do you sound like you think that concerns you?”

“It doesn’t,” he says solemnly, visibly biting back his discomfort—even giving me the same look he’d always given when another guy paid the remotest amount of attention to me. “I just wanted to… Remind you to get on that.” 

I furrow a brow at his audacity—coming here and talking to me like we’ve got some semblance of a friendship or relationship at all. I almost take a step toward him until a realization hits me like a giant yellow school bus.

My eyes widen. “Aw, _shit,_ ” I hiss.

At one point in time, I had the same relationship with him that I have with Loki now—albeit much less passionate, but I had feelings for him too. And I talked to him all the time. Really, really _talked_ to him.

“Damn it all,” I sigh frustratedly as I glance back at Loki, who peers at me confusedly. “Let’s go,” I insist assertively, shaking my head as I push him toward the doors. 

Somewhere inside, I groan as I hear footsteps behind me that I’d hoped to leave outside. “Cerys,” I hear Daniel’s voice again, and I cock my head annoyedly, stomping a foot on the ground as I turn toward him. More annoyed than anything—I can’t really take him seriously, knowing why he’s acting the way he is. “So what, are you two together now?” he gestures to Loki.

I blink surprisedly, hardly expecting the abrupt change in his address. Meanwhile, Loki stares at him quietly.

“Daniel, you really need to go home,” I say pointedly. “I mean it—go _home, Daniel,”_ I continue, invoking the voice. “ _And leave me alone.”_

Jealousy and confusion shift abruptly to rage in his eyes, and my brow rises slightly as I realize that the voice hadn’t had quite the effect that I anticipated—not as I watch him charge at me angrily. 

“You think you can just tell me to leave!?” he spits out, reaching for my arm. “You think you can just do that? You think I’m scared of you!?”

My heart starts thumping in my chest, and for a moment, all I can see is the rage in his eyes—rage that wasn’t there before. I instigated it.

“No,” I hear Loki’s deep voice growl beside me as he steps between us. “But—you should be very much afraid of _me_.” 

I cry out as Daniel throws a thoughtless punch at Loki, but he deflects it easily—grabbing Daniel and throwing him over in a swift movement, shoving him into the ground.

I gasp sharply at the sight of it, but something deep inside me is calm—calm at the sight of violence, unfazed by the bit of darkness I’m witnessing. A splinter of an instinct inside me knows that it’s all part of the same thing—part of the trauma I’d experienced. Darkness will never penetrate my heart so deeply again.

“So,” Loki croons as he kneels beside Daniel, holding him against the ground. “You’re going to leave, and you’re going to leave _us_ alone. I trust these instructions are clear enough for a dullard like you to understand—I will not extend this warning again.”

He finishes on a low note, and emphatically presses Daniel’s face against the ground once more before standing up—letting out a satisfied sigh as he turns toward me, and grinning contentedly. Almost makes me wonder if he’s been holding _that_ in, too…

My eyes jump back down to Daniel as he stands, swaying confusedly, and looking utterly disoriented. He looks about the room once more, as if seeing it for the first time, and grimaces as his eyes pass over me. I stand frozen for a moment, watching as he turns and stumbles toward the doors behind him without another word. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keeping it short this week cuz I got a run! Thank you guys for making this story get more and more popular! It honestly makes my day when I get a little e-mail notification pops up that I got a new comment - I really do LOVE hearing from you guys, so please do continue sharing your thoughts with me. Makes this whole thing so much fun to write. Til next time! :)


	28. Chapter 28

"I want him dead."

That's all I say—four magic words that have two different effects on the two people sitting across from me at the kitchen island. Only Loki seems the least bit bemused, and he offers me a grin in response—like he's happy to entertain my darker impulses. In the meantime, Thor seems more concerned than anything else.

Regardless of anyone's reactions, I know it in my heart of hearts—I want Alastair dead. Or locked up at the very least, where he might as well be dead.

"We never figured out why they took _you_ in the first place," Thor says, leaning forward in one of the island bar stools. "It may not have been personal."

"It was personal to me," I respond earnestly, looking toward him from the center of the living room.

"Of course," he knits his brows together. "No one can deny the horror of what you endured, Cerys. But I believe that now is the time to be wise and strategic, rather than emotional and impulsive."

My cheeks tint a bit as I lower my chin, feeling the slightest bit embarrassed—I know he's right, but I can't help being emotional about it. I can't help wanting the man who tortured and experimented on me to be made sorry for it, in one way or another.

"Wisdom and strategy are well-employed in combat," Loki remarks, looking between us. "And she has no experience in it."

"Are you suggesting that we train her, brother?" Thor asks, looking over at him.

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting—I'll train her myself."

Thor sighs. "And where would you go about doing that? We've a recreational area on the first floor, but there isn't much space. I might suggest the roof, but she hasn't the same resistance to cold air that we do."

My eyes narrow as I look off into a corner, considering one particular idea. "Well," I murmur, and both pairs of eyes turn toward me. "I have a gym membership technically, I think... Assuming it hasn't expired, there are some rooms that I can reserve that would probably be great for that."

" _Hm,_ " Loki lets out a breath. "Well alright, then. Look into that for us."

I nod, "Will do."

***

Racquetball rooms. Apparently that's what those rooms are called, and it took me a while to navigate the gym website before I finally figured out which room I had in mind.

I smirk when I see Loki wander out of the men's locker room, sporting a pair of black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt—one of the same shirts he uses to sleep in. From where I'm sitting, in one of the rounded leather cushions just outside the locker rooms, I grin as I take a quick second to admire him. The toned arms and doubtlessly muscular stature hidden under his sleep/exercise apparel... I guess it's true what they say, sometimes less turns out to be more.

"What are you smiling at?" he muses, grinning warmly as he approaches me.

"Nothing," I say, shaking my head, trying to pull the corners of my mouth back down—trying and failing to control the impulse to smile, and the wandering thoughts that follow.

Especially the ones that ensued at the sight of the grey t-shirt. Since, during the past week or so, Loki's been known to sporadically wander into my room in the middle of the night—sometimes waking me up, other times, not. And whether or not he visits me seems to depend on who goes to bed sooner that particular night, or how tired we are.

I do enjoy it so much when he does, though. I don't even mind being woken up, really—not the way he does it. The creak of the door may or may not be enough to wake me up, but the mattress depressing behind me will surely get it done. Which isn't nearly as unpleasant as it might sound, considering the warm, soothing embrace that tends to follow. 

And the voice, goddamn... Depending on what he says, his smooth voice in my ear can either work as a shot of arousal, or a soothing balm to have me arch relaxedly against him, drifting back to sleep—even his hands trailing my curves, searching for a comfortable sleeping position of his own.

As of now, it's been two nights since he last came to my room. A healthy amount of time and space apart, I'd say—especially considering how much time we otherwise spend in each others' company, living with mutual friends under the same roof. Granted, both of us have also been busy—Loki with Thor and their business, and myself with work and rehearsals. A S.H.I.E.L.D vehicle picks me up after both these days, something I have no objection to.

"So are you ready, or not?" Loki's voice suddenly snaps me back to the moment.

"Oh," I shake my head as I stand. "Yeah—right, sorry. I'm ready."

I stretch to my full length in front of him, grabbing my hands and twisting back and forth a bit. I'd be lying if I didn't say it wasn't fun to visually tease him a bit like this—it is, after all, why I chose my most flattering sports bra and exercise leggings.

I let out a breath, settling back to normal as I grin wryly at him. Loki's eyes dart back up to mine, shamelessly revealing where he'd been looking a moment ago, but he levels a flat stare at me.

"None of that, now," he says flatly.

I raise a brow. "None of what?"

"That," he snaps motionlessly, casting his gaze over me. "That's not what we're here for."

I press my lips together, holding eye contact for a moment before a sly grin finally reveals itself on the corner of my lip.

I shake my head, "I don't know what you're talking about," I say in a low voice as I walk past him, letting my hips sway freely.

His shoes shuffle behind me as I lead us to the upstairs level, where the racquetball courts are. We leave the racquets themselves in the corner, though I sincerely doubt we needed to bring them upstairs with us at all. It's fairly late in the evening, and there aren't many people here tonight—none to look through the glass window and care about us not playing racquetball in the designated courts.

In my experience, no one in the gym really cares about what anyone else is doing—everyone just wants to be left alone and not paid attention to. Aside from the occasional assholes that like to compare muscles or calories, and feel good about themselves by shaming other people—those tend to be the types of characters I steer clear from in any setting, though. Because fuck anyone who tries to heighten themselves by belittling others, that sounds like a personal problem—one that I'll never deign to tolerate.

"Alright," Loki's voice echoes against the tall walls as he positions himself opposite me. He raises both hands and curls his fingers. "We'll start with your defaults. I'd like to see where you stand, so attack me."

Despite the utter seriousness in his expression, I raise my brows as a smile pulls on my lips. "Well I don't even know where to start with that," I chuckle. "I've never attacked anyone in my life."

Loki presses his lips together, holding his steady gaze. "Well how were you planning on handling Alastair, then? Charming him to death?"

Color rushes to my cheeks as I smile at him. "I just can't take this seriously with you looking at me like that," I say, regarding his taut expression.

"How else am I supposed to look at you?" 

I shrug. "I don't know."

Loki blinks, glancing off to the side as an idea crosses his mind. "Fine," he muses, looking back at me. "I'll attack you, then. Show me how you defend yourself."

Instead of tightening, every muscle in my body loosens at the sight of him stalking toward me. I can see how it would be terrifying for some people, but I could watch him all day—savoring the idea that he would never actually hurt me.

...so it's pretty shocking when he proceeds to slam me into the wall—hard enough to hurt, but not enough to bruise.

"Ouch," I wince, looking up at him—our faces inches from each other, and his forearm pressing into my bare stomach while his other hand grasps my shoulder, pushing me into the cold wall.

"I told you to defend yourself," he breathes out, and steps away.

Damn, he really is taking this seriously... Enough to prompt me to start collecting myself as I watch him stride back to where he was in front of me.

"Again," he says tightly, and launches himself at me again.

I bend my knees slightly, anticipating his approach, and when I see his hand fly out at me, I jump out of the way in the very last moment. Loki turns, and swings his arm out at me—slow enough to stop if I don't react. This I know for certain—I've seen his true reflexes, and they are much, much faster than what he's dishing out right now.

I jump back, again and again. "I want contact," Loki remarks. "Show me how you would react if there was nowhere to run."

I watch every movement like a dance—a spontaneous dance. The kind where you don't know your partner, and you just have to get a sense of their movements. Granted, that's not a short-cut to combat muscle memory, but it does give me some kind of idea.

At least, that's what I tell myself until I realize I'm wrong. Very wrong. It's not like a dance at all, and by the way I grab Loki's flying arm desperately with both hands, it's plainly obvious to see that my movement training won't play much of a role in this arena. His arm stops midair, and I realize I was right—he _was_ holding back.

"Okay stop, hold on," I let go of his arm, stepping away. "I can't—I have no idea what I'm doing."

Loki props his hands on his hips as he looks me up and down. "Yes, that much is clear."

I raise a brow. "Hey, be nice."

"Your opponent won't be nice," he retorts sharply, narrowing his eyes at me. "They will be cruel and merciless."

"Fine, then what do you want me to do?"

"Attack me."

My shoulders drop. "I told you, I've never attacked anyone in m-"

"Then improvise," he interjects tightly. "Do whatever it takes to show me where you stand. Imagine I'm Alastair—or anyone who's ever hurt you," a faint grimace ripples in his expression. "Daniel, even, if that helps."

Awkward.

"I'm not pretending you're my ex-boyfriend," I shake my head at him. "That's weird."

"Then imagine I'm one of those men who broke into your home," he says frustratedly.

"I really don't want to relive that, Loki."

" _But you must_ ," he snaps earnestly, and I furrow a brow at the deep disconcertment in his voice. "You must," he repeats more softly, "if you wish to survive—that is what survival requires of all of us. To relinquish our fears, and face that which frightens us. You cannot falter when you're in training, else it will be all too easy to..." his voice trails off abruptly as he blinks, biting back the other half of his sentence.

I watch as he slides his gaze away from me—fists tightening as he sighs with frustration. With my lips slightly parted, I stare at him for a moment, sliding my gaze along his chiseled profile, his shoulders... But a different type of fear slowly begins tightening in my chest—not mine, but his. And I realize suddenly, that I'm not the only variable in this equation. Loki is, too. Him, and his fear—fear of what might've happened to me when I was taken, and fear of what might happen if they managed to do it again.

Assuming I'm right, that is... Assuming I'm interpreting the falter in his voice correctly, along with everything else. Of course, how could he not care about me at this point?

I close the distance between us, using the momentum to rise onto the balls of my feet as I throw my arms around him. I press my lip against the crook of his neck as my arms tighten around him, and his hair tickles my nose as his shoulders tense up with a returned hug. I shut my eyes for a moment, savoring the way his hands glide over my bare backside, and tangle with my hair as he holds me against him.

Tense, passionate warmth seeps through my chest as we stay like that for a bit, and it barely subsides when I finally pull away. I look up to see the tautness in his expression diminished slightly, replaced with a softness that I can only assume is love and care.

Well, care at the very least... I don't know about love. And I don't want to guess.

"Let's," I say softly. "try again, yeah?"

Loki blinks, and nods his head slightly. I grin in turn, stepping back from him and trailing back to the starting point. I hear him do the same behind me, and he's standing opposite me once more when I turn back to him.

He sighs. "Show me how you defend yourself," he says tiredly, and closes the space between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies. So I really like the whole 'training' idea and you guys may or may not be seeing it again, depending on how the rest of the story goes, though it'll probably be more 'fun' and less 'heavy,' like this chapter was. So, just something to maybe look forward to. ;) Which I definitely need, this past week has sucked - apart from other stuff, the power got shut off for a day, and then something went wrong with the water heaters, and we had icy cold water for an additional two days. Of course, where I'm from, we used to stock up on big blue bottles of water, just in case they turned off our water and power for days at a time. This wasn't the type of thing that would've upset me before, it's amazing how comfort changes us...
> 
> But anywho, enough about that! I tried to make this chapter nice and low-key, and I hope that was okay-it's a prelude to some turbulent times ahead that will bring the story to a close, and hopefully it was also a bit indicative of how Loki's feelings for Cerys are evolving.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who reads and comments on this story, you guys are really just the best. Have a great night, my dears!


	29. Chapter 29

Training with Loki proves much more difficult than either of us anticipated. Too many distractions cropping up here and there, since getting thrown against the wall by a Norse god and manhandled by him is exactly as hot as it sounds.

So when Thor and Sif offered to help out, things were really sped up with the additional effort. It still took several weeks before I was moderately able to hold my own, though I still can only take one of them at a time. Training's gone faster with weapons at least, thanks to Loki—I'm real good with daggers.

The emotional side of things are still a bit shaky still, though. I've had to keep all of this a secret from my friends and family, which was rougher than I thought it'd be. Pepper, Tony, and the Asgardians are the closest friends I have, but they're not particularly inclined to discuss these matters much. I've never been particularly close to my family or people at the Academy, but it sucks to pretend like nothing's going on every now and again when people ask. Part of me feels like it would be a huge relief to just pour it all out to someone.

Apart from that, life goes on as usual. Loki walks home with me a bit less than he used to, though he insists that I carry his daggers on me on nights when I do walk home alone—nights like tonight. They're outrageously uncomfortable, but I've been wearing boots just for the sake of having someplace to tuck them into. Changing out of my dance apparel and sneaking them in there is a bit of a hassle every time, but walking home from Barnes and Noble is a lot easier, since there's no changing involved.

At least, for now it's easier. It won't be for much longer.

And that, in fact, is the reason I've got a bit of a skip in my step tonight. Since at the end of the summer, I'll be saying goodbye to performing and Barnes-and-Noble-ing for a while, because I landed a position with the Academy as director of choreography.

Only downside is that I'll be working with James a bit more frequently.

Still, for all that he's a sleezebag, he's been getting more and more well behaved over the past few weeks... in no small part because I've been directing my power toward detangling the mess I'd apparently made there too.

Evidently spending an excess amount of time listening to me sing had a bit of an 'effect' on him too—which is _supposed_ to excuse his behavior and prior 'attempted' offenses, but I think that if he didn't have it in him, the power probably wouldn't have brought it out.

Still, I'm willing to accept friendly terms and second chances as long as he behaves himself—which he has been doing. After all, no one else ever really had the same complaints about him that I did, never the same issues. It's in my favor either way, and practicing control of my power on him also has its obvious uses. Nothing cruel or out of character, obviously. Just... Detangling.

The daggers are shifting uncomfortably in my tall boots, but I've got the biggest smile on my face as I sift through the people on the street. I won't be making the mistake of turning the corner down the alley again, even if it is a shortcut—the street we live on is generally quiet enough as it is.

So quiet, in fact, that the two pairs of footsteps behind me seem to appear out of nowhere, and match my pace all the way down the block. My smile fades a bit, but I continue striding down the block briskly, eyeing the stairs to my right and cars to the left of the sidewalk as I go—trying to catch some reflection, or anything at all, to figure out who's behind me.

Definite possibility that I'm just paranoid, of course... It might just be some normal couple walking behind me. But the silence between them is bordering on being unnatural, and I really, really don't want to find out whether Loki was right to have me carry these things around.

"Cerys," a deep voice says my name and I turn my head, hands buried in my coat pockets as I continue walking, seeing two figures following behind me—a man and a woman, both dark-haired, and wearing seemingly casual apparel, save for long, dark coats.

"Who are you?" I ask monotonously, and my heels click more loudly against the asphalt as I turn back and pick up the pace a bit.

"Please wait, we're not here to hurt you."

"Famous last words to be heard," I murmur, but stop anyway, pivoting slowly toward them.

They come to a stop, and the woman eyes me intently. I furrow a brow slightly at the reddish tint of her eyes. "Who are you?" I ask assertively.

"We're with A.I.M," the woman says.

A.I.M.

The people that kidnapped me.

Color drains from my face as my breathing slows. "What do you want?" I ask sharply, trying to keep my tone steady.

"We're not here to take you, if that's what you're thinking," she says, shaking her head knowingly—as though she'd read my expression. "We're here to make you an offer."

My brow drops as my eyes widen. "... _Excuse me_?"

"Your situation was... mishandled," the man addresses me, and I look over at him, glancing about his tall stature beside her. "You were never meant to be taken by force."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"We came here to make you an offer, to ask you to come with us. Completely of your own free will, and only if you want to. We have a team, and we'd like you to be a part of it," says the woman, raising a hand and gesturing to herself. "My name is Yuriko, this is Pyreus," she pauses, tucking it back into her coat. "You actually met before, under... Less fortunate circumstances."

I look up at Pyreus, and his gaze slides downward as he raises a hand slowly into the air.

I gasp as it bursts aflame, jumping back with both hands out at my side.

It's him, the... _flaming shit._ The creature from the lab that burned Loki. I bend down to my boots, grasping the small bolsters and pulling them out of my boots—stepping back into an offensive position, half-turned and prepared to make a run for it if I need to.

" _What the hell is this!?_ " I hiss through my teeth.

The flames subside as he turns his gaze heavily to Yuriko. I watch as they exchange concerned glances for a moment, before looking back at me.

"I've been called Lady Deathstrike," she says. "This is Firelord. We were recruited by A.I.M as part of an initiative, and we've been searching for others like us. You, for example."

"And kidnapping me was what, a recruitment method?" I grind out at them with a low, aggressive tone. "Do you know what they did to me?" I nod in Pyreus' direction.

"You were the only one of your kind that we managed to find," he says. "Alastair isn't known for doing things by-the-book, and again, those experiments weren't authorized. He didn't tell us that, though," he regards Yuriko annoyedly. " _Fucking scientists."_

I narrow my eyes at him. "Seemed to me like you guys were pretty _well prepared_ to receive someone like me. Had all that shit ready to go when I was there."

He shakes his head. "Those machines weren't meant for you. Alastair lied when he told you they brought you to headquarters. You were at a peripheral lab, and he brought you there to harvest your powers and catalog them for usage, with or without your consent. When our people at headquarters heard what was happening there, they shut his projects down and sent us to collect you the right way. We need people to be with us because they believe in our mission, not because they're being forced to."

"And what's that, exactly?"

"We overthrow governments," he states plainly. "And reforge them."

My eyes widen with disdain. "And why the hell would I want anything to do with that?"

Pyreus continues. "Your ass lives out in this world, am I wrong? Have you _seen_ what's going on out there? War and ruin—people die by the hundreds every single day," he steps toward me, gesturing earnestly with his hand in the air. "Two-hundred and forty three women and children were murdered today alone, blown to bits because they were caught in the cross fire between an authoritarian government and rebel soldiers. Look it up yourself, you won't find it handed to you on the news. But it's all happening right now, even if you're too far away to see it."

"And," Yuriko interjects. "By your close association with the younger Odinson, we thought you'd be open to the idea."

I lower my chin, looking toward her confusedly. "Loki? What does he have to do with any of this?"

I watch as they exchange glances, and Yuriko knits her brows together as she looks back at me. "The leader of the Chitauri invasion... Living amongst the Asgardians and S.H.I.E.L.D itself, true enough, but he's the very emblem of our mission. We thought that you might-"

"Wait, _wait,_ " I interrupt, shaking my head briskly. "What are you talking about? What 'Chit-auri' invasion? You're... You're not talking about..." my voice trails off as I glare at them.

Yuriko catches the hint to finish my sentence, "The invasion that happened here, years back? Yes, that's the one."

Silence hardens the air surrounding us, and I lower the daggers slowly, lips parted slightly as I stare at her. "No way," I shake my head. "No way in hell, you're lying—whatever that was, it was... If Loki was a part of that, I would've heard about it by now."

She shakes her head. "I'm surprised you're only hearing about it now. We assumed you knew. Why do you think the Avengers encircle him so closely?"

For the first time, I look away from them, trailing my eyes along the ground as I try to put together the pieces. Seeing all the S.H.I.E.L.D agents surrounding him the first day we met, the way that Pepper told me to be careful with him the day of the festival, how Sif warned me about him too... It can't be, though. I would've known sooner, someone would've told me...

"We'll give you time to think about it," Yuriko's voice snaps me back out of my thoughts, and I recoil slightly as she approaches me with a piece of paper in her hand. I look down as she holds it out to me, "Call this number when you decide. You can always turn back if you want to, and nothing will happen if you choose not to call. Nor will you see Alastair again if you do," she pauses, eyeing my disconcerted expression intently. "We take care of our own."

I watch as she looks down and begins digging around for something in her coat, until she pulls out a small device. "And as for the Odinson..." she mumbles, and a screen pops up with a number of codes and cyphers that I can't make out.

After a few moments of watching her punch in some passwords, a camera recording of Loki begins to play, zooming in on him wearing golden horns, and circling a device with a blue cube in the center of some rooftop—golden spear in hand. I swallow thickly when I realize that the building is Stark tower, where the portal had opened up.

I stare at the screen as it zooms into him further, unsure of what to say as she reaches out and presses the paper against my thumb—still gripping the dagger tightly in my hand. Almost without thinking, I shift it slightly to make room for it against the hilt.

"If you still don't believe it, you can ask your friends at S.H.I.E.L.D. Or dig around a little in their files," Yuriko says, staring at me earnestly as she puts the device away. "Even if it means breaking the rules a little, you'll find out the truth. I'm sure it would help you decide. And," she steps back and tucks her hands into her black coat. "You could make a real difference in the world if you did. Much more than you would dancing and singing away your gift. So, think about our offer. We'll be waiting to hear from you—hopefully."

I watch as she turns back toward Pyreus quietly, and disappears with him down one of the alleys between the buildings. I look down at the piece of paper for a moment, and deafening silence rings between my ears.

So much information to process, but hardly a single coherent thought manages to form in the moments that follow. My boots scrape across the ground as I finally pivot slowly, turning in the direction of home.

***

The loft is quiet by the time I get back, and it's clear that no one has come home yet. Loki'd mentioned to me that they had some Asgardian business to deal with tonight, one of their bi-weekly check-ins with their people, and it seems they haven't finished yet.

I leave the lights off as I stride into the middle of the dimly lit living room, looking out at the city lights beyond the glass, while my head buzzes amidst the fragile silence. I still haven't quite managed to think clearly about what just happened—my head's been too busy spinning with all the information it got bombarded with.

Never mind trying to calming myself down from the fact that I just had another encounter with A.I.M. Seems my brain's insisting on processing one damn thing at a time.

I lose track of how long I've been standing by the window like this, and pretty soon, I hear a pair of keys unlocking the door on the other side of the kitchen. A few merry voices fill the hallway on the other side, and I barely turn my head in their direction as they walk into the loft, flicking on the kitchen lights—leaving the living room in darkness.

Thor and Heimdall are in the middle of some conversation about schooling, it seems, while Loki and Sif trail behind them, silently listening. Thor gives me a smile and a greeting as he sets a small grocery bag on the counter, followed by Heimdall. Sif continues listening to Thor's statements about grades and age grouping as she follows him into the kitchen, eyeing the grocery bag, and only Loki seems to notice something off.

Only for a moment, though. The conversation ceases between the four of them, the mirth slowly melting away as they start to notice my sullen expression.

"Cerys, are you alright?" asks Thor, and Loki glances at him before looking back at me.

Loki pauses, waiting on a response that doesn't come, and finally steps forward. "Cerys?" he asks, stepping forward in his usual black jeans and leather coat. "Did something happen?"

I stare at him blankly. This supposed leader of the 'Chitauri' invasion, the reason for the remembrance festival that I've performed in these past two years. The emblem of A.I.M's mission. And... My lover, I guess. I haven't even called him my boyfriend yet, if that's what he is. He's just a lover, who never bothered to tell me exactly who and what he was before I bothered falling for him.

Loki's eyes narrow confusedly as he observes me.

 _Lies._ The words seethe in my head as I peer at him. _So many lies._

I turn my head back toward the window, feeling something cold and icy tighten in my chest. A calm resentment squeezing all the warmth and trust and care into a dense, unfeeling ball inside my heard. Part of it wants to tell them what happened, but... if what Yuriko said was true, if what she showed me was real, then they never bothered to tell me.

In fact, no one bothered to tell me anything important at any point—that I was a 'siren,' that they were taking me to Switzerland because there was a threat against me, that S.H.I.E.L.D was at the festival because of me, that Loki led an invasion that killed thousands of people and crumbled our city. None of it was information that anyone thought was relevant to share with me. Not S.H.I.E.L.D, Pepper, Tony, Thor and the others, and not Loki. No one.

The paper crumples a bit as I turn it over in my left hand, glancing at my hollow expression in the window reflection. I squeeze it tightly, and tuck it into my pocket. I won't bother to tell them, either. Who's to say what they would do with the information, what they would try to cover up, or what kinds of plans they might hatch for me? Yuriko said that nothing would happen if I decided not to call—I guess we'll find out, while I make up my mind.

"Nothing," I murmur, looking back at them blankly. "Nothing happened."

I glance at Loki, holding his emerald gaze for a moment. His brow flinches confusedly as he steps toward me, but nothing flickers in my chest in turn at the sight of his disconcertment. Nothing at all.

The others stand motionless, staring at me from the kitchen as I pivot slowly on my heel and tread across the living room. With their eyes on me, I disappear into the hallway and head to my room—pausing to lock the door behind me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :X Uh oh. Looks like Cerys might be digging herself a bit of a hole. Maybe... I really can't help but wonder how this chapter left you all feeling, what you guys think is going to happen. Let me know in the comments? I'm honestly super curious what you all think of what's happening right now, or what's going to happen. Or what Loki's thinking.
> 
> ALSO, I'm sure some of you noticed that I pulled in some characters from the comics. Yuriko and Firelord. AIM too, since they're not super directly part of the cinematic universe. I'm not exactly following Marvel's design by involving them with AIM, that's all just for the purpose of this story. But I thought it'd be cool to bring in some characters from the comics.
> 
> Also I don't know if you guys would want a heads up that the story will soon be coming to a close, but while I was reading others' work, I noticed that a lot of writers gave one. So I'm letting you all know too, we're definitely nearing the end. For this book, anyway. I've already cooked up a sequel that I will probably write.
> 
> But yeah, that's all for now. Love you guys, and I'm really really grateful to you, my faithful lurkers and commenters, subscribers and kudos-err! I really, really appreciate all the support you guys give. Really - thank you all so, so much.


	30. Chapter 30

Loki knocked on my door several times last night, but I didn't answer. I know I won't be able to avoid him forever, but I don't want to approach him with this until I have more information. So despite my grumbling stomach and the lingering smell of pancakes the following morning, I slip back into my leggings and black boots, pausing hesitantly before taking Loki's daggers off the night stand.

With my usual crop top dance shirt and warm trench coat on top, I tie my curls back into a high pony tail and high-tail it out of my room. I barely look up at the Asgardians as I walk through the living room, but my presence quickly brings their conversation to an abrupt stop as they turn their attention to me.

I meet Loki's searching eyes for a moment as I walk by, and he turns toward me in his bar stool.

"Cerys," says Heimdall, drawing my attention to him. "Would you like some breakfast?"

I glance in his direction as I continue heading toward the door, hands tucked firmly into my pockets—no intention of joining them. "No, thank you."

"Are you sure?" he tries again. "And perhaps... We suspect there's something wrong, something you wish to discuss with us."

I come to a stop just to the right of the island, staring at him blankly. His golden eyes narrow slightly as he studies my face, and I press my lips together a bit with reproach.

"No," I state plainly, despite the ire simmering just under the surface, and continue my beeline toward the door. I let it swing shut behind me, and pull out my phone once I'm in the hallway, dialing Pepper's number as I walk on.

"Hello?"

"Hi Pep," I say—rather casually, considering we've spoken all of once or twice over the past few weeks, and seen each other less than a handful of times.

"Hey Cer," she responds softly. "What's up? It's been a while."

"It has. Do you have time right now?"

"Well, I'm... I mean, I'm out of town right now, but I can talk—why, what's going on?"

"Well I _was_ hoping we could meet. I needed to talk to you about some things, but maybe when you get back?"

"Sure," she says earnestly. "What things?" 

I press an elevator button. "Loki. And the invasion."

Silence.

  
"What about the invasion? And... Loki?"

I swallow hard, wondering whether she'll take the bait. "Well, can't talk about one without the other, right?"

Another pause. "I..." she murmurs. "Did he tell you?"

My throat tightens, and I let out a deep breath as the elevator doors open in front of me. That's all I really needed to hear from her. Another big, fat secret to add on the list of things that no one told me about—things I'd certainly consider my business.

After a moment, I say, "No. But we should talk more about this in person," my voice drops as I attempt to keep it steady. "Let me know when you're back in town, okay?"

I don't wait for her to respond as I step into the elevator, lowering the phone and ending the call. I dial again—knowing the person on the other side will have time to meet. At least, I suspect so, since his weekend schedule had never changed much when we were close. It was the same for all six months that we were together, so it's a fair assumption.

"Hello," a voice answers sullenly—Daniel's voice.

  
"Hi Daniel."

Silence. "What do you want?"

I take a deep breath, gathering my resolve as I invoke the voice. "I want you meet with me," I say, stepping out of the elevator. I'd be lying if I said that the assertion didn't make me nervous, especially considering the fact that I haven't actually tried using the voice over any kind of technology, and have no idea if it transfers.

"When?"

I blink at the answer, raising a brow at the barest hint of sluggishness in his voice.

"Now," I respond tautly, pressing my luck a little bit further. "I need something from you."

"...what?"

"Information."

***

Guilt twinges in my chest as I sit in the corner of a diner a few streets down, where I'd told Daniel to meet me. It doesn't take much of a conscience to know that it's pretty shitty of me to manipulate people like this, but hell—since everyone's been lying to me, this seems like the only way for me to be sure that I'm getting the truth. And last time I was kept out of the loop, things ended pretty badly.

So, I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I recognize Daniel's brown locks as soon as he walks into the diner, and looks around the room for me. He gives me a double take as soon as our eyes meet, and saunters slowly in my direction, sliding into the booth across from me and setting his bag down beside him.

"Hey," he says.

"Hi."

"It's, uh... Nice to see you, I guess."

I press my lips together as a grin tugs on the corners of them. I shake my head, "I know it's not," I say softly. "Not like this. It hasn't been nice for a while, huh?"

Tension flickers through his brow, and Daniel blinks down at the table. "Yeah, a while."

I tilt my head, parting my lips hesitantly. "Daniel, did... Did you _know_?" he looks up at me solemnly, likely hearing the hint of sadness seeping into my tone. "When we were together, did you know what I was?"

I watch as he looks off to the side for a moment, glancing at people passing by before turning his attention back to me. "I didn't know what you were. I knew that Pepper and Tony were interested in you, but I didn't know why."

"And what about now?"

He shakes his head. "Am I supposed to know?"

"No," I say, looking down at the table in front of him, and glance up at the waitress that suddenly approaches us—a plate and a cup in hand.

"Coffee for the lady," she says, setting the cup in front of me. "And an omelet."

Daniel furrows a brow as she walks away, and looks down at his plate.

"I remember it was what you liked, so I ordered for you," I say with a shrug. "Eat it or don't... it's not why I asked you here."

"Yeah," he says, without making a move toward the omelet. "You wanted... information."

"Did you bring it?"

"Yeah," Daniel presses his lips together, and turns reluctantly to the bag at his side. I wait as he rummages through it for a moment, before pulling out a grey plastic case that parts in the middle. He pauses as he turns back to me, and I raise a brow at him.

"Alright... hand it over," I say, toggling the voice as I reach over the table.

He raises it slowly into the air, and I lean forward to take it from him. "This has everything I need to know?"

"Yeah," he says. "Everything about the invasion. Just like you asked."

I nod. "Good... Is anyone going to realize it's missing?"

"No. We have a lot of these, whatever information gets loaded onto it is kept in a separate database."

"Got it," I say, looking down at it.

I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, biting back the guilt as I sigh heavily. Sadness weighs in my chest as I look up at him again. "Look, I'm... I'm sorry about this. I really am. It would've been easier for both of us if I didn't have to get you involved, but now that you are..." I say, slowing to incite the power. "I'm going to need you to keep this to yourself."

His eyes relax a bit as he stares at me, and bobs his head. "Is this about Loki?"

My breath hitches in my throat. "Yeah," I breathe out.

He blinks down at the table, and back at me. "Who told you?"

A jolt of hurt replaces the guilt I'd been feeling moments ago, renewing my resolve a bit. "A few people," I murmur. "I'm guessing you knew about him too?"

Daniel bobs his head slightly, and I glance out the window before letting out a heavy breath, and sliding out of the booth. "Enjoy that omelet, Daniel. I'll see you around," I say as I walk off.

***

I can't go back to the apartment without the others noticing the device, so I opt for the studio instead. I chose the diner specifically to be close to it, and just as I suspected, the entire building is nearly empty on a Saturday. Which makes it easy to find a vacant room.

I sigh as I cross the small, empty dance space, making a nervous beeline for the far corner. I pull the daggers out of my boots and set them on the ground carefully as I cross my legs underneath me, letting out a taut breath as I set the device down in front of me.

The plastic is thick, but it's light as a whole. I tug on the openings here and there a bit, and a piece finally comes loose on the side, humming to life with a bright, golden hologram shining in the middle of a rectangular piece of glass. A glowing square appears to the right of the hologram, with a small index and an access bar just beside it.

_I. TESSERACT_

_II. ODINSON_SCEPTER_

_III. CHITAURI_SPECIES 0X00A23_

_IV. ASGARD_THOR_

_V. AVENGERS_INITIATIVE_

I scan the list before looking back over to the access bar. ' _Slide to Open_ ' - I read the gleaming words on the little button, and carefully lay a finger on the cold glass, sliding it downward. I blink as a number of pictures and text boxes suddenly appear on the screen, with small print at the bottom saying ' _Swipe up to view_.' I furrow a brow, looking between the command and the images for a moment, before reaching up and swiping two fingers up over some arbitrary space on the screen.

An array of lights come on at the top of the screen's handle bar, projecting the text boxes out into the air in front of me. I flinch as a myriad of sounds suddenly start playing from the little speakers lining its sides, leaning forward toward the floating text boxes and videos.

They shift forward with me, and I straighten up as soon as I realize that moving the device means moving them too. So I hold the glass steady as I blink from box to box, seeing each of the index components laid out in front of me.

All the information I could need... Something about a tesseract, images of the Chitauri creatures that invaded earth, information about the Avengers that wasn't released to the public...

My eyes stop over an image of Loki, branching off a text box and two smaller video clips. One of him zipping by in some kind of flying vessel, surrounded by aliens flying in similar ones, and another of him wearing a suit, grinning and looking around outside some fancy looking, well lit-building with arched windows—captioned "stuttgart_streetcam."

I look over at the text box.

_II. ODINSON_SCEPTER_

:: _ASGARD BIRTH. SCEPTER MIND CONTROL, COMP. AGENT CLINT BARTON. STOLEN TESSERACT ON 23 NOVEMBER, 2243 HOURS. ASSAULT STUTTGART GERMANY. GALA 13 DECEMBER. CHITAURI INVASION COMMAND. COLLUSION W SHIELD RIVAL. WAR CRIME::_

_War crime... Invasion command..._

I'd have thought that learning all this would make me feel sad, betrayed, or even afraid... The idea of thousands of people dying because of the man I've been sharing a bed with should scare and irate me at best, but... I feel nothing.

Just another secret that was kept from me, but as much as I want to feel upset at Loki's involvement with this, I just... can't. I feel absolutely nothing as I stare at his face, replaying again and again in the Stuttgart video.

I don't even recognize him. He doesn't even look much the same anymore. And the more I look at him, the more that little ball of care and affection in my chest condenses, further and further into itself until there's no piece of it loose enough to break off of. It just can't handle any more disappointment.

I stare past the screen, out onto the ground beyond it. I know everything, now. Everything about everyone I'd grown close to over the past year. And Loki... his crimes are vile, but I'm not even in the realm of understanding why it's so unfathomably easy for me to wrap my head around the fact that they happened.

They _happened..._ And I feel nothing.

***

After tucking the device securely into my locker, I spend the rest of the day wandering around Manhattan, ignoring all texts and calls while contemplating everything I've learned. The time goes by quicker than I might've imagined, and at some point, I end up on a bench in Central Park, in front of the memorial statue they'd erected during the rebuilding efforts.

I only start feeling the impulse to finally go home when the cold evening air begins nipping at my cheeks. I let my hair down for some warmth, and take my sweet time going back to the apartment, happily stopping at a nearby bar to get a drink before finally making it back—sometime after midnight.

I pull my phone out along with my keys for the first time all day, seeing four missed calls from Pepper, a couple less from Thor (which could've been any one of the Asgardians), and a text from Daniel - ' _thanks for the omelet.'_

I furrow a brow at the text, wondering if there's more to Daniel's willingness to help me than what I'd coaxed with the power.

The screen slips against the fabric of my coat as I drop it back into my pocket, and take the proper key in my fingers with the other hand, unlocking the door. The loft is quiet and dark, save for a single light emanating from the kitchen. I step inside and look over to the right, pausing at a figure resting his forehead against his hand on the other side of the kitchen isle. Heavy, sullen eyes look up to me as I step up to the counter slowly, watching him coldly.

Loki's eyes soften as his lips part, and he drops his hand down to the counter. "Where have you _been_?"

I tilt my head toward the door. "Been everywhere, today," I mumble, looking around the dark apartment. "Is anyone home?"

"No," He shakes his head, rising from the chair. "Would you mind telling me what's going on with you?"

"I don't, but you might, hearing it," I murmur, holding his steady gaze.

Loki pauses, contemplating the remark. "What's that supposed to mean?" he retorts.

I exhale lightly through my nostrils, and swallow thickly. "It means... I've learned some things these past few days..." I say, feeling a tiny bite of pain as I peer at him. "About you. About the Avengers."

His brows narrow a bit. "And what's that?"

I part my lips hesitantly, second guessing what information I'm willing to share with him. "A.I.M reached out to me again. Made me an offer, and then gave me some information I didn't have before, to help me make up my mind," I pause for a moment while Loki's expression turns grave. "It took some effort to find out for sure that they weren't lying, but... now I know for sure."

"What did they offer you." he asks tautly. "You understand they can't be trusted, right?"

"Maybe. Maybe they offered something I thought I already had," I say, feeling my voice shake a little as thoughts zip through my mind—images of Switzerland, of our dinners together, our laughs and adventures. "Maybe not... Do you not want to talk about what they told me? About you?"

"What is there to say of it?" he says darkly. "It sounds as though you've already ascertained the truth for yourself."

The bluntness jabs at something sore in my chest. "I don't need to ask you if it's true. I just don't understand, after everything that happened, why you didn't tell me about it yourself. Didn't you think I'd find out about it eventually?"

Loki exhales lightly through his nostrils. "What I did was nothing that you needed to know," he says flatly. "If the occasion rose that you did, I would've told you."

I press my lips together, nodding with disdain. " _Right,_ " I hiss. "'Cause that was your decision to make before letting m-" I press my lips together, and Loki's eyes flicker at the unfinished sentence. I tilt my chin up at him, "So basically, you have nothing to say for it."

"No."

I bob my head. "Got it," I respond dryly without hesitation, sliding my gaze down the counter as I pivot to my left, striding around the island.

His footsteps thunder as he jumps to my side, grabbing my arm and turning me toward him.

"What, is that all?" he drops his hand down to his side. "You think you know everything about me, just because you've learned one thing about my past?"

I extend my neck toward him angrily. "Well you don't exactly seem eager to _share,"_ I say through clenched teeth, raising my arms up at my sides. "Please, enlighten me if there's anything else I should know."

"There isn't anything you _need_ to know."

"You _murdered_ people," I growl at him, feeling the ball in my chest tighten and tighten. All the while, every single word I say slashes at it mercilessly, and tears slowly rise to my eyes. I step toward him. "That's something I think I _needed_ to know, Loki. You _murdered_ people! And I... I fucking slept with you, I..." I grimace at the bite of hurt in his eyes. " _I fell in love with you._ And you... it's like I don't even _know_ you _._ "

I watch as the he hurt slowly melts away from Loki's expression, replaced with heavy calm and silence. Meanwhile, the ball in my chest is completely shredded from every word I've said, and my face contorts with pain as I lean over the back of the couch.

After a moment of silence, tears start pooling in my eyes, blurring my irate vision as Loki steps toward me.

He pauses, and takes a heavy breath before speaking. "Clearly, you haven't learned why everything happened the way it did, or what led to it. But you're wrong about one thing—you haven't gone all this time without knowing me. And I..." he pauses reluctantly. "I care for you ardently—you must know that much, at least."

I slice my eyes at him, watching stress crease between his brows as he bores into me with his own, seemingly toeing the line between talking and saying nothing. A flicker of pain passes over his expression as he lifts a hand slowly, inching toward me until his fingers brush lightly against my cheek, taking a bit of the wetness with them.

"You don't understand all that happened, Cerys," he says in a low voice, eyeing his hand as he shifts his thumb against my neck. "But I've paid my dues for it. Let that be enough."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Let that 'be enough?'"

He lowers his chin. "Yes. _"_

"I can't just forget about this _,_ Loki," I growl.

" _And I can't talk about it,_ " his fingers drop from my cheek as I straighten up.

"Why the hell not!?" I throw my hands into the air.

He presses his lips together, sighing as he looks away, and I wait—watching indecision flicker across his expression. "I just... _can't."_

I shake my head. "Then I _can't_ either," I say, turning away from him.

" _No,_ " he grabs my arm.

I turn, glaring at him pointedly. "What do you want from me, Loki? Are you even _sorry_ for what you did!?"

His lips thin into a straight line. "I am and I'm not _—it's hard to explain._ "

"Why!?"

" _I don't_ _know, Cerys!"_ he bites, releasing my arm.

I look away.

God, I can't deal with this.

I've never been close to my family and I never will be. I've all but lost my best friend entirely, both of them, and lost the closest friends I had over lies and secrets, since I can't see how things will ever be the same with any of them again. And now, just add this shitty feeling to the list... Fucking hell, it was easier to just feel nothing.

My face hardens as my brows knit together, and I throw all my effort into not letting my face contort with the ire boiling under the surface. Loki's hands rise to my neck as he steps closer, rising to my jaw as he gently directs me back to him. His thumbs press against my cheeks.

"Stop crying," he mutters aggressively as he blinks heavily, leaning toward me. "Can you just stop crying?"

" _No_ ," I say, pushing his hands off me. "I'm _fucking_ mad!"

He peers down at me, and his intent expression does nothing for my confusion—the sharp disconnect between the truth about who he is, what he's done, and the person I've known these past few months.   
  
"You're just like everyone else—you've been lying to me this whole time!"

"I have _never_ lied to you," he growls, gripping the sides of my face again. "You see me, standing here?" he tightens them emphatically. " _This_ is the person you know. This is who I am—it's who I've always been with you."

I part my lips, but he interjects. "I know you can't forget what you've learned, and I am _sorry_ that you didn't hear it the way you would have wanted—but you see the life I've made here. Is it really all that different from what it was before?"   
  
The muscles around my eyes loosen a little as I study his expression, and glance at the room around us.

His voice simmers down a bit. "What we are hasn't changed, there's nothing about this at all that's changed—you simply see it now as everyone else does, do you understand?"

Loki's lips fall together as his hands leave me, and he steps back. "And it's your choice now, what you want to do with it," he says.

I stare at him for a moment, watching him stand there and wait for me to say something.

Slowly, my eyes trail away from him as I shake my head, stopping at the wine rack on the far counter.

Without thinking, I stalk past him, heading toward it and grabbing the only bottle on the rack that I know is twist-off. I turn, holding it up to him. " _What I'm going to do with it,_ " I hiss sarcastically before popping the top open, and pressing it to my lips—letting it pour down my throat.

The bottle clangs against the counter as I put it down.

"That was ugly on you," he murmurs under his breath.

"Do I look like I care right now?" I respond darkly.

He shakes his head. "No."

I part my lips hesitantly, feeling the tears dry up on my cheeks. "I don't.." I pause. "I don't even know what to do now."

Loki looks up at me from the counter. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know what to do," I blink at him, raising my brows. "I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do, I don't know anything..."

"You shouldn't _go_ anywhere," he says, stepping toward me on the other side of the counter. "This is your home, isn't it?"

"I don't know," I shake my head.

Loki presses his lips together. "Cerys," he says ominously, sliding around the isle.

"No, just..." I step back, and he stops. "I just... I need to think."

His outstretched hand balls into a loose fist on the counter, and he nods. "Alright," he says. "But can I ask one thing of you?"

I look at him.

"Don't make any decisions like this."

"Like what?" I grind out, narrowing my eyes at him.

"How you're feeling, now," he mutters lowly, trying to stay calm for the both of us. "Let it pass, before... before you choose to leave us."

His eyes flicker at me searchingly, and I hold his gaze for a moment, seeing the glimmer of anxiety in his otherwise taut expression.

I shake my head, stepping back defeatedly. "Don't worry," I murmur monotonously. "I'll give it plenty of thought." I say in passing, crossing the kitchen and heading through the living room. 


	31. Chapter 31

Things have been quiet. I haven't spoken to Loki since our argument, which was a day ago. Not that we haven't missed each other going in and out of the apartment, but the conversation's been clipped and to the point—assuming there was one to speak of.

As for the others, I've kept neutral and non-hostile—I wouldn't go as far as to say that I've been friendly, but enough to keep tension levels as low as possible. Though the longer this goes on, the more I start to feel like it might actually be time for me to go. Take that variable out of the equation altogether.

More than anything, that feeling grows the more I think about the fact that I've been living here on Tony's good graces—for the sake of safety in numbers—but I've hardly spoken to him in weeks. And being cooped up in my room has left me feeling more like an outsider than I ever did before.

Self-inflicted? Maybe. But sorting everything out has been difficult and confusing. Obviously, I won't even deny that I've grown to love and care about all the Asgardians as friends, and that I still love and care about Pepper and Tony. I probably always will—the moments and happy times we shared couldn't possibly have been fabricated.

On the other hand, every fundamental aspect of my life feels shifted. Outwardly, much of it is the same. Inwardly, though, it's been difficult to make room for the new realities I'm living in. Today, for example, I went to the studio early in the morning for some rehearsal, and then spent a few hours at work. Nothing was particularly different, but I didn't feel the same. I didn't feel like a dancer, and I didn't feel like an employee. All in all, it's become hard to see myself that way.

I wish I could say I haven't lost much sleep over it, but I definitely have. And I know I'm not the only one—it's half past midnight, and I heard Loki's door open a few minutes ago. Not that it prompted anything, I've continued laying against my pillows, listening to him shuffle down the hall and into the living room. And meanwhile, I've just been scrolling through Facebook, hoping that my eyes will eventually get droopy and tired from staring at a screen. I'd switched to my phone after spending forty five minutes looking at apartment postings online, and so far, anxiety has kept sleep at bay.

I blink, suddenly hearing Thor's door open as well. I move the phone away from my face, staring at the door as I listen to his heavy footsteps go down the hall, and into the living room. Strange—he's not usually up at this hour.

I listen to their voices mumble a bit before sitting up in bed, and slipping a leg out from under the blanket. I saunter quietly to the door, pressing my fingers against the crack as I turn the doorknob slowly—silently—until I can pull the door open without making a sound.

"It won't be sudden, brother..." I hear Thor's voice, and my brows knit together a bit.

"What I would have done, in that position. You remember what transpired."

I tilt the door a bit, lowering my weight slowly with every step onto the carpet as I slip out of my room, and inch down the hall a bit. With my back pressed against the wall, I listen quietly to the conversation in the living room.

After some imperceptible remark from Thor, I hear Loki's sullen voice once more, disagreeing with whatever it was that Thor suggested. "I can't—the situation is too delicate."

"Maybe," Thor mumbles. "But..." he sighs. "With her departure, life will go on, brother."

Something sinks in my chest.

"To come and go from our lives," Loki responds quietly. "like this... I feel responsible. I should have foreseen the consequences. Long before this, even. Before what happened, I should have foreseen, I..." he pauses. "But I had no care to do so."

"I know. But we learn from our mistakes, it's the only way."

"It wasn't a mistake, it was a choice. I could have turned away from it all, I knew I should have. I knew I'd set death in motion on this planet, but... there was no part of me left that felt driven to turn away from that."

Silence.

"Does it help to talk about it?" Thor says softly.

I furrow a brow slightly, letting a breath out through my nostrils. Have they never discussed this before?

Another pause. "She said she was in love with me."

I blink, widening my eyes as color prickles my cheeks.

 _Shit,_ I forgot about that... And about how he didn't say it back.

"Do you believe her?"

"I don't know," Loki answers.

Thor sighs quietly. "What about you?"

More silence. I swallow thickly, listening as my chest tightens.

"...I don't know," Loki finally answers.

I barely hear Thor breathe out the words, _"I see..."_ Until he continues a bit more loudly, "That may be something to sort out before you stop her leaving."

"Matters of her safety won't change depending on my feelings." Loki retorts.

"I know. And we will be there for her just as we would be for any one of our friends, but staying with us is a decision she must come to on her own."

After a moment of quiet that I can only assume was filled by a nod on Loki's part, or some other acknowledgement, I hear the sofa shift quietly.

I take a step back toward my bedroom, hearing some mumbles about getting some sleep, and quickly slip back behind the door.

Shutting it silently, I press my hand up against the wood as I did earlier, and close my eyes tightly. I know I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but... it was more truth than I've gotten from anyone lately. And I know I shouldn't judge Loki for what I heard, about not knowing whether he's in love with me, because I wasn't really supposed to hear it in the first place.

But that doesn't ease the confusion and indecisiveness. Doesn't make it any easier to rationalize letting Loki explain himself to me. Maybe he will, if I give him the chance. Maybe that's what this all needs.

***

After another hour or so of thinking about everything I'd heard, I finally manage to get some sleep. And in the morning, I put on a neutral face as I throw a robe over my shoulders, and walk out of my bedroom—casual and open to interaction, for the first time in days. I stop at Loki's open door, and blink when I see him sitting on his bed inside, tying the laces of his suede boots. I take a step in his direction, and his eyes dart up to me—halting all other movement as he straightens up slowly.

I swallow hard, feeling a little awkward and unsure of myself. "Hi, Loki." 

He parts his lips hesitantly, "Cerys."

I pause, glancing around his room, suddenly forgetting what the hell I planned to do.

Oh, that's right...

"Do you maybe want to... go get some food with me after work, today?"

His eyes fall to my feet, and back up in an instant. I shift uncomfortably in his slightly surprised, yet evaluative gaze.

"I think that would be nice, yes," he says.

I nod. "I'm off at seven, does that sound okay?"  
  
"Sure," he says. "Shall I come meet you at your work?"

"You can, yeah. They just opened up a new fish grill across town, near that shopping center, I can order us an Uber or something..."

Loki furrows a brow. "That's... that chauffeuring service, yes?"

My lips quirk upward a bit, and his eyes flicker down toward the subtle movement. "Yeah," I mutter. "Meet me outside Barnes and Noble tonight?"

He bobs his head, a bit of relief loosening his expression. "I'll be there."

"Me too," I offer a warm grin. "I'll see you there."

***

"Cerys, there's a pile in the fiction section, I need you to go put it back," I hear Marge say as she walks into the back room, and I roll my eyes with agitation.

Seriously, after all this time, one would think that she would figure out how to actually manage the store properly, and everyone working in it.

"I'm on my way out, Marge," I drone as I slip my coat over my arms. "I've already clocked out."

There's no way I'm going to jump out of my skin to stay an extra twenty minutes, going through somebody's abandoned pile of books. There's no telling if they all even belong in the fiction section.

"Oh," she murmurs as she looks up from the desk, turning to look at me as I walk by.

I lay a hand on the doorknob and look back at her, "I'll let Frankie know, if you want."

She nods. "Sure, do that for me."

I turn the knob and stride through the doorway without another word, sighing nervously as I stride across the massive store, and glance up at the tall ceilings as I go.

I'm not entirely sure what direction my conversation with Loki will go tonight. Some part of me doubts that I'll even get as much out of him as Thor did last night.

"Cerys," I hear Frankie's voice, and look back down to see her stroll up to me, all perked up and excited. "There's a guy at the front door asking for you," she says with a wry smile. "A really _hot_ guy."

I grin in turn, pulling my phone out of my pocket. "And an Uber, probably."

"Are you going on a _date?_ " she croons suggestively, pivoting to follow me over to the door.

I chuckle. "Um... Well, I'm not really sure if it's supposed to be a date, we're mostly just hanging out tonight."

"What's his name?"

I give her a sidelong glance as we turn the corner, around the history section, and see him standing by the double doors, looking around the store. Tall and proud, clad in his leather, black pants, and suede shoes, Loki's as strong and handsome looking as always. And if he's nervous at all, I can't tell in the least bit.

  
"His name's Loki," I say, and his eyes flicker over to me responsively, as though he'd heard his name.

He presses his lips together in a faint grin as we approach him.

"Well, you kids have fun," Frankie muses as she breaks away from me, waving as she heads back off toward the registers.

I wave goodbye at her before she turns, and look back at Loki—glancing between us as I come up in front of him.

"Friend of yours?" he offers a smile.

"'Slash' coworker, yeah," I nod, pulling out my buzzing phone. "Are you ready to go? Our Uber's here."

He cocks his head toward the door. "I'm ready if you're ready."

I smile, "Alright. Let's go, then."

Loki turns, stepping back to make room for me as we walk over to the doors, and holds one open for me as the night air pours over us from the outside. I look around, trying to find the 2002 Honda Civic.

"There it is," I point to the silver car across the street, as Loki strides up beside me. I bite my lip slightly as he lays a hand on my back, and turns his head from side to side—checking the street before his eyes flicker down to mine.

He parts his lips, and closes them again as he stares at me.

Finally, he looks away and gestures to the street. "We should cross now," he says, nudging me along. I nod my head and turn my eyes back down to the brightly lit asphalt, and both our shoes click loudly against it as we cross the street, running over to the far side of the car.

Loki strides ahead of me for a bit to grab the handle, and hold the back door open for me.

I smile at him, and then at the driver as I slide into the back seat. "Hi!"

"Hello," the man says friendlily, with some heavy accent I can't place—not by his voice, nor by the back of his head. "Fish grill, yes?"

I look over at Loki, seeing him eye the center seat briefly before glancing at me, and looking away as he settles in the window seat instead.

"Yes, that's right!" I say, and buckle in as I watch the driver punch in the address of the shopping center into his GPS. He taps on the first option, and shifts the car into 'drive' without another word.

Street lights flicker into the car as we pass by, and I look over at Loki on the other side of the cabin—watching as they cast passing shadows over his angular features. He remains unmoving, looking out at the sidewalk with some contemplative expression on his face—hands intertwined peacefully together in his lap.

He blinks suddenly, as though noticing my stare, and looks over at me. I turn my gaze quickly to the front of the car, looking out the windshield silently—still seeing him watching me out of the corner of my eye. The driver glances at us once in the rearview mirror, but otherwise remains silent for the rest of the trip—certainly less talkative than other Uber drivers I've had, but it's not entirely unusual, I suppose.

The driver leaves us just outside the restaurant, and Loki wrinkles a brow at its name: California Fish Grill.

"Should it not be New York Fish Grill?" he murmurs as we stroll toward the doors leisurely.

"I hear it's a chain," I say, taking in the smell of grilled seafood as we walk in. "Must be expanding—like In N Out."

"What's that?" Loki asks, looking around the restaurant as he enters after me.

I grin amusedly, shaking my head as I take a couple of laminated menus out from a little tray, and hand one to him. "A burger chain, super well known for being really high quality."

"And this place is what, in relation to that?"

"No relation to it, it's just a seafood grill I think," I say, looking down at the menu as I step toward the line. "Have you ever had seafood?"

"Of course I have," he says, following after me as he scans the menu.

I nod, and we fall silent for a moment as we look over the options.

"I think I'm ready," I say, moving with the line.

"What is... garlic butter sauce?" he asks dubiously, looking up at me. "Have you ever had it?"

I blink up at him, meeting his narrow, emerald eyes. My eyes flicker down to his lips briefly, and I shake my head. "No," I say, looking back down at the menu. "Not here, anyway."

I see him gesture to the counter out of the corner of my eye. "We're up," he says, and we step up to it.

"Hi!" the young, blonde girl chirps at us. "What can I get you guys?"

"I'll have the..." I pause, dragging my finger down to the option. "Shrimp skewers, with garlic butter sauce and grilled zucchini."

"Sure," she says, punching in the order. "And for you?"

Loki glances up at her reluctantly, and then casts his eyes back down to the menu. "I'll have the same."

"With zucchini on the side?"

He nods. "Sure."

"No other sides for you two?"

Loki slices to me for an answer. I grin, shaking my head, "No, I think we're good with just that."

"Alright, your total is going to be $24.78!"

As I start fishing for my wallet out of my purse, I suddenly see Loki hand a card to her from the corner of my eye. I pause, glancing at it as the girl hands it back to him, and seeing his name on the card.

"You have a credit card now?" I ask with a furrowed brow, and watch as the girl holds out a little black buzzer to him.

"I do," he says without looking at me, and eyes the buzzer strangely as he takes it from her. "What is this?"

I glance back at the line behind us, and nudge him away from the register a bit, laying a hand on his firm arm and stepping up closer to him. "It'll buzz when our order's ready," I murmur quietly, before looking up at him. He turns his attention to me briefly, sidestepping as I push him away slowly.

My cheeks redden a bit. "Let's find a table—how's that one, over there?" I bob my chin over at a table in the far corner, nestled under a window.

Loki drags his eyes over to it. "That works."

"Cool," I say as I slip past him toward it, noting the sauce bar beside the counter as I go by.

I take my trench coat off, hanging it on the chair as I look back at the sauces. "I'm going to go get some sauces," I say to Loki as he sets the buzzer down on the table. "Do you want to come?"

"I'm not sure what you're referring to, but sure," he nods, and follows me back toward the counter.

  
I smirk. "How do you not know what sauces are, after all this time?"

Loki shrugs. "I assume that implies you know what all of these mean?"

For a moment, we both stand in front of the sauces and read the labels, and I furrow a brow at some of the unfamiliar names. I definitely know what tartare is, but I've never had creole sauce before, which may or may not mean that it's spicy—which I can't handle too well.

 _Fuck it._ "Nope," I say, and shrug inwardly as I reach for a little plastic cup and pour a bit of it in with the metal spoon.

Loki's eyes jump toward the movement, and I look over to see him observing me carefully.

I cock my head toward the sauces. "Are you going to get any?"

His eyes scan the names once more before returning to me. "I don't know what any of these things mean."

A grin tugs on the corner of my lip as I hand him the creole sauce. "Here, just hold this for me," I turn back and grab another little plastic cup, and fill it with tartare sauce instead.   
  
The little buzzer vibrates as we approach the table, and deposit our cups before turning back to go and collect our food. Loki takes the tray from my hands, and I sigh through my nostrils as I look over his tall backside, feeling a rush of familiarity as he leads us back to the table. Such a plain, ordinary thing for us to be doing, I can't even remember the last time things were so easy.

The chair slides noisily as I pull it out to sit, and Loki turns as he sets the tray down on the table. I reach out to take one of the plates off of it as he situates himself across from me.

"Looks pretty good, huh?" I grin, cutting into the prawns as Loki does the same.

"That it does."

"Think we might have to come back here again."

He grins slightly as he looks up at me from across the table. "Of course."

"And..." I pause. "Maybe bring the others, too?"

Loki stops cutting, only for an instant, and then resumes. "Yes—we could do that," he says. "I assume that means you wish to continue speaking to them?"

I take a bite of the prawn, after dipping it into the creole sauce—not too spicy at all. Loki eyes me as he finishes cutting up a piece of his, and follows suit.

"Well... I think I should, right?" I murmur. "I mean... since we're talking about it, I'm not saying I like that everyone kept me out of the loop on things... I still don't. I was far enough out of it to where I didn't even know there was a loop, but... I just think that I get why things happened the way they did. I don't really think it's worth throwing our friendships away over."

Loki nods thoughtfully before taking another bite. "Does that mean you'll stay with us, as well?"

I blink up at him, seeing the blank, contemplative expression I've come to know all too well. He casts his eyes down to his food, and I part my lips hesitantly. "Well, I don't know about that part, to be honest..." his eyes dart up to me. "I'm not really on great terms with Tony right now, it feels weird to still be living there."

"Stark hasn't evicted you yet—you should stay there because it's safer."

I shrug. "He hasn't, but that place was meant for you. And I'm not one of you guys—I'm not Asgardian, I'm just... I'm not even sure right now, to be honest. But I'm not _that_."

Loki furrows a brow as he looks up at me, but his expression loosens as some thought flashes across his eyes.

"I'm not going to try to convince you of anything, Cerys," he says grimly. "You can make your own decisions."

"I know," I murmur.

"Nor will any of the others attempt the same. Whatever it is you're thinking of doing, they will remain your friends. And such, they will help if you should ask for it, but they won't hold themselves responsible if you run toward danger."

I nod silently, feeling my appetite subside a little.

"So... sticking around—that's what you think I should do?" I murmur quietly.

Loki glances up at me silently, swallowing the last bit of food before setting his utensils down. I swallow thickly as I watch him sit back against his chair, peering at me intently. "Do you want my honest opinion?"

I nod.

He blinks down at the table, almost hesitantly, and back up at me. "I think you ought to take more than a _day_ to think about things. Try to live your life with us again, don't make any decisions for the time being."   
  
I raise my brows a bit, running my thumbs over each other under the table. "That's pretty sound advice."

His head shifts to the side a bit. "Asking my advice _and_ offering compliments?" I blink at the wryness in his tone. "Whatever have I done to deserve it?"

I grin warmly—my only response.

Loki casts his eyes away for a moment, before meeting my gaze again. "So... No vacancy to your room, then?"

I wait for a moment, and then shake my head. "No, not today." 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I don't usually talk about the tracks I use to think up scenes... But I highly, highly recommend everyone go and listen to the song I used for the festival scene (you'll know it when you get to it). It's called "Alice" by Cocteau Twins-it's an unusual song, but I used it to model the performance in this chapter. It just came on in shuffle while I was driving and my eyes got all wide, cuz I totally pictures Cerys' voice being that rich and enchanting. I think listening to it will also enhance the mood of the scene. Hope you enjoy! :)

The Asgardians assured me I had nothing to feel guilty about, once everything was on the table. Loki did a lot of the talking, and I mostly apologized for all those days of clipped sentences and abrupt coldness. It was an emotional conversation to say the least, but it wasn't nearly as drawn out as dramatic as I was afraid it'd be. For all that they've been alive for hundreds of years, it really shows in the extent their wisdom.

Roughly two weeks later, a certain special occasion rolls around—Ostara, the celebration of the spring equinox. At least, that's what they call it. Loki explained that since it'll be the first one they'll have on earth, it'll be more of an occasion to come together than anything else—something that everyone desperately needs right now.

Myself included—so there's no hesitation on my part when asked whether I'd be happy to come to the event.

On the day of, having dressed in some nice jeans, tall boots and red shirt, I walk out into the living room and throw a beige trench coat over my shoulders.

"Cerys," I hear Sif's voice from the hallway, and turn to see her eyeing me up and down. "That's not what you're wearing, is it?"

I look down at my apparel, and then note that Sif is wearing some of her traditional Asgardian clothes—a red dress, to be precise. Much more feminine than she usually opts for.

"Uhh," I drone. "Well... I guess so?"

She shakes her head, scanning my length solemnly. "No, that won't do... Come with me," she beckons to me, and disappears down the hallway. I saunter after her, and she reappears in her doorway at the end of the hall before I manage to reach her room, with a purple dress in hand.

"This ought to fit your colors," she says. "And your size, I think."

I look over the dress as I take it from her hands, noting the short sleeves, emphasized bosom and shawls traipsing over the sides and back.

I raise a brow. "Well, I'll... I'll wear this if you want me to."

"Trust me," she nods. "If you're to appear there with a prince of Asgard, you'll want to look the part."

Color tinges my cheeks. "I'm not sure what you mean by that."

Sif levels a flat stare at me. "Loki appears at an event with a woman... Our people will make note of it."

I press my lips together. "So..." I mumble in a low voice. "Does that mean I need to do something, or... act a certain way?"

"Not in any way other than your usual self, but you should still dress the part," she gestures to the dress.

I look down at it. "Well, alright..." I say, and turn to go back to my room.

"Wait," I stop, noticing the empty rooms. "Where are the guys?"

"They said they'd meet us there a while later, had some matters to take care of before we got there. Didn't Loki mention that?"

I shake my head. "Nope..."

"Oh," she raises her brows and nods. "Well, now you know. I'll be waiting for you out here."

"Got it," I bob my head, and stroll back to my room with the dress in hand.

It takes much longer to put it on than any other I've ever had to squirm into. With the length of the shawl-things trailing all over me, it's easy to get them confused with the skirt, and the underdress—but at least they provide some warmth.

I pull my hair out from under the fabric and run my fingers through the blonde curls a bit before straightening up, and heading back out.

"Ready?" Sif straightens up from the back of one of the couches.

"Ready."

A black SUV awaits us by the curb, with Pepper and Tony dressed in their normal attire. Both press their lips together and give us faint nods, pulling away from the side of the car.

"We ready to go?" Tony asks, with a hint of awkwardness as he pivots in place and opens the car door.

"Yes," Sif answers, following him into the cabin.

I look at Pepper, quirking my lips as I step up to the car. We hadn't had the chance to talk about the whole 'Loki' incident since she got back, but word travels fast when shit happens, and I've heard that she's all caught up...

I gesture to her outfit. "So... no one made you guys dress up?"

She shakes her head. "No. I don't think we'll be staying that long, anyway... You look good, though."

"Thanks, Sif gave me the dress."

"Yeah," she smiles. "I figured."

We both sway a little in place for a moment, unsure of how to fill the silence. "We should get going, yeah?"

Pepper perks up. "Oh, yeah," she says, turning back to the car and opening the door.

***

Whoever designed this event really went out of their way to make Central Park look like a cornucopia of twinkling lights. Seriously, this is fancier than the remembrance festival. Little glinting lights hanging in the spaces between trees, canopies lined with little Christmas lights of their own, and... tents? Even from check-in at the entrance, I could see them lining all of the grassy areas. Some big, some small, and all embroidered beautifully with little jewels and colorful designs.

Keeping my beige coat wrapped tightly around me, I saunter at the back of our little group, looking around the scene. Every now and again, Pepper and Tony mumble something to each other, but the majority of my senses are dominated by the sound of chatter and laughter, punctuated by the occasional sound of clinking glasses and singing somewhere on the grounds.

Everyone here is Asgardian, and as my eyes trail down from the treetops, I almost stop in my tracks when I spot Thor—and Loki—surrounded by a small group of finely dressed women. I raise a brow as we stroll in their direction, noting the elegant brunette smiling and laughing a little too hard at whatever it is Loki just said—her sleek, straight hair glimmering as she sways back and forth.

Amidst a quiet mumble, Pepper glances back and notices me. I look over at her for a brief instant as she looks in Loki's direction, and then raises a brow as she trails her eyes back over to me—slowing a little to meet my pace.

"So you and Loki..." she murmurs.

"Still a thing," I mutter monotonously. "Sort of. I mean, we are. Things were awkward for a little bit when I found out about... you know. But things've been getting better."

In the corner of my eye, I see her bob her head a little. "Right. Sorry I wasn't around for that..." she turns her head toward me a bit. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "I'm fine, I'm just..." I let out a quiet, inhuman noise, crinkling my nose as I peer ahead at Loki.

Pepper scoffs quietly. "Yeah he looks a little 'happy,' doesn't he?" she says in a low voice.

I narrow my eyes as he clinks glasses with the group, and unfurl my coat from my chest. Pepper holds out an arm as I sift out of the garment, and I grin as she turns and gives me a knowing look. Her hand sinks as I lay it against her forearm, fixing the shawl around my shoulders.

All in all, it's still a bit chilly. But I'll survive.

Thor greets Tony with a handshake as we approach, and amidst the turning heads and assimilation into the group, Loki looks me over from head to toe—as does the brunette. The corners of his lips twist upward as he strides across the group to me, brushing an arm around my backside as he turns back to the others.

I swallow lightly at the touch, crossing my arms over my chest as I look up at his profile. A seasoned, savory smell suddenly catches my attention, and I start looking around at the tables lining the courtyards as the chatter continues on—at least, until I hear Loki say my name. I turn my head sharply up to him, meeting his bright green eyes peering down at me.

"Won't you join them, Cerys?" he asks, gripping my shoulder reassuringly.

"Uhm," I mutter, holding his gaze for a moment. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Gammel kjærleik rustar ikkje," says the dark-skinned woman next to the brunette. I narrow my eyes for a moment, recognizing the words.

"'Old love does not corrode?'" I repeat in English, recalling the phrase from the song I'd performed at the festival.

"Yes," the woman answers. "Are you familiar with the old lullaby?"

I nod. "I am, my colleague and I altered the tune for the festival," I turn to Loki. "Why?"

"Well, only a select few of us attended that concert. I thought you might enjoy the opportunity to perform for everyone else."

"Ah," I nod. "I'm sorry, you are..."

"Oh, forgive me," she steps toward me and curtsies slightly. "My name Adatte."

I bob my head. "Cerys, nice to meet you..." my voice trails off. I clench my teeth as I stare up at Loki, pulling the corners of my mouth reluctantly into a grin. It's not that I don't remember the lyrics of that song, performing just wasn't exactly what I anticipated being parent-trapped into tonight.

I roll my head emphatically. "Well, I suppose I could... do that..."

Loki grins a bit wider as he nods, sliding his hand down from my shoulder, to my waist. "I knew you would—but before you run off, do come with me, for a moment?"

I pause. "Yeah—sure," I bob my head, quirking my lips up to the group as Loki leads me away.

Both our shoes sift across the grass as he leads me off to a secluded area among the trees, and I turn and look up at him, noticing more than a few people following us with their eyes.

"So... What's up?" I pivot toward him when he slows.

"I wanted to give you something," he says, grinning as he looks down, and shifts in place a little as he raises his hand. With a subtle wave, he produces a golden band in the palm of his hand, with a group of small, embedded emeralds glinting in the lights.

I blink own at the band, parting my lips nervously as he lifts it up between his fingers. It couldn't be 'the ring'—it'd have to just be a normal gift-type ring. I mean, it's been almost a year now since I've met Loki, but we'd only really considered ourselves together for a little over two months—not counting when I found out about Loki, and things were tense for a week.

Loki tilts his head slightly. "Are you going to say something?" he asks, grinning. "Or take it, perhaps?"

I blink at him, nodding my head. "Yeah," I breathe out.

"Give me your hand—the right one," Loki reaches out for my wrist. "This is the hand you hold the microphones with," he says, slipping the ring on my ring finger. "Consider this a personal charm, to accompany you in your performances."

I peer at the ring motionlessly for a moment, and then blink upward. And for a moment, I just look at him against the background of the glinting trees. His slender face, stubbled jaw, and most outstandingly, the streak of gentility running deep behind his piercing eyes. I remain unmoving, but Loki's lips part hesitantly as his brow furrows a bit.

"Are you..." he says, stiffening a bit. "Going to say something?"

I shake my head briskly a bit, bringing myself back to the moment. "Oh, yeah," I nod, looking down at the ring. A grin slowly forms on my face, and I look back up, stepping forward and rolling onto the balls of my feet. Loki leans back a bit, but his expression relaxes as I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck. I close my eyes and grin, breathing heavily against him for a moment as he pulls me in, lifting me off my feet a bit.

"I'll wear it tonight," I breathe out, and strands of my hair blow back as he chuckles gently. My breath hitches slightly as he turns his face toward me, and kisses my neck endearingly.

I step back a little, meeting his gaze as he grins down at me. Warmth beats through my chest, and Loki pulls me to his chest, running a hand along my jaw as he leans down slowly, brushing his lips against mine. I reach up and place a hand on his neck, deepening the kiss for a brief instant.

Before I can even pull away, his mouth stretches into a smile, and Loki chuckles. "It's been some time, hasn't it?" he murmurs against my lips.

I nod. "Not _that_ much," I grin, and step back into his embrace, sliding my hand down to his shoulder as I nestle against his neck.

With every subsequent breath, every bit of tension in my body abates, and we remain motionless for a moment. In the corner of my eye, I see that Thor—along with the rest of the group—moved to a small circle of chairs surrounding a fire. The pit itself is near what I'm guessing are Thor and Loki's tents, according to their size and fine embroidery. Almost as though they're part of the general decor itself.

Thor grins, glancing at us warmly before taking another sip from his giant glass of beer.

***

"Damn, how long's it been since we drank like this?" I roll my head over to Pepper, who's sitting to my left around the fire pit.

" _Mmm,_ " she mumbles, swallowing what's left of her wine. "New Year's Eve."

I raise a brow at her empty glass before looking down at my own, noticing Loki's still-full glass to my right.

"Don't get too inebriated now, Cerys, dear," the brunette's voice draws my attention across the circle, while everyone else around us continues chattering. I furrow a brow at her casual address, and she raises her wine glass to Adatte. "You'll have to go on stage in a moment now, won't you?" she addresses the young Asgardian.

Adatte glances at her friend drunkenly, looking awkwardly between her and the wine glass.

I tilt my head, suddenly realizing that the brunette had never formally introduced herself to me—I wonder why? I perk my lips into a coy smile, and look over at Adatte, taking on the kindest tone of voice I can possibly muster.

"I'll be ready whenever you're ready—in fact," I pause, smiling as I glance at Loki—who's busy partaking in whatever the righthand side of the circle is discussing. "I'm looking forward to it."

I turn back to Adatte, and she looks over her shoulder at a stage nestled between a few sets of trees a short distance away. She nods her head, and gestures to me. "I think—now?"

I lower my chin. "Sure," I say earnestly, and lay a hand on Loki's knee as I lift myself slowly from my chair. I feel my legs sway a little, but I clear my throat demonstrably as I convince myself inwardly— _I'm not that drunk, I'm not that drunk..._

Not as drunk as I was on New Year's Eve, anyway. I can handle this.

Loki's hand catches mine briefly as I stand, and he lays a kiss on my ringed finger before releasing me to follow after Adatte.

"So," I murmur to her as we stride toward the stage. "It's just the original version, right? With the original tune?"

"Yes," she smiles as she looks over at me. "There will be one other with us, but we will perform the main lyrics. Alternate verses between us."

"Got it," I say, looking back at the stage. "Did you guys do this a lot in... Asgard? Sing, I mean?"

Adatte nods. "Oh yes, for the All-Father and Queen Frigga, when they were alive," she grins at me pointedly. "They say Queen Frigga favored her younger son."

"Loki?" I smile—finding her friendliness a sharp, relaxing contrast from her friend's. "What was he like, back there?"

She laughs. "He was known for his trouble-making behavior—near infamous, I'd say."

"I can just picture it," I say laughingly.

"If you don't mind my asking," she pauses. "Are you and the prince... Well, you're close, but, is it serious?"

I shake my head, and shrug at the same time. "Oh... I mean, we've known each other a while now, but I think it's too early to tell."

"Well, he speaks very highly of you."

I furrow a brow. "Thank you—but, uh, I'm a bit curious as to why you're asking?"

"Genuine curiosity," she says, tilting her chin down and giving me a meaningful look.

My lips pull back into a smile. "Got it," I say, nodding and slowing to a stop in front of the stage.

All in all, it's nothing terribly fancy. A few hanging lights and a raised platform, with three standing microphones—two closer to the front. Nothing to be nervous about.

After a couple of checks and a brief announcement in what I assume is Norse, I meet the third girl—Janya—and we head onto the stage. One by one, a number of groups and floating individuals turn their attention to us, and I take a deep breath—clearing my thoughts and calming slowly as I scan the audience.

I sadden a bit at the realization of how different this used to feel. It's still nice, of course—the song coming on over the speakers, feeling my body relax as I get ready for the simple tune. Slow and enchanting, it plays from the speakers, and I frown slightly as I glance down at the ground, waiting for my part to start after Adatte's introduction. My voice pours out with the foreign lyrics, and I cross my arms—pulling forward the coat that I'd put back on earlier as I sway in place.

Suddenly, I catch Loki's eyes as he moves among the crowd—followed by Thor and Heimdall. I glance back at the fire pit in the distance, seeing Pepper looking in our direction, and the rest of our company still sitting around the circle.

I look back down at him as he strolls to the front, glancing around proudly as he grins. And when he meets my gaze once more, my stomach flutters a bit at the way he cross his arms and he straightens up—listening intently.

For the first time since coming up on stage, I grin, and raise a brow suddenly when a certain idea pops into my head. Loki narrows his eyes suspiciously—clearly noticing the movement. In a heartbeat, I invoke the voice faintly—just enough to convey tranquility, but not enough to affect anyone severely.

Some of the expressions in the audience visibly change, loosening relaxedly. Loki narrows his eyes as his smile fades to a warm grin, and he peers at me softly through the rest of the song—clapping gently as I come down from the stage when it's over. He approaches me pointedly, tucking his left hand behind his back.

"Beautiful as always," he says, extending a hand out to me.

Color tinges my cheeks as I lower my arms down to my sides, and bow my head slightly as I reach out and take his hand. He squeezes it tightly, pulling me toward him.

I can practically feel the eyes around us. Friendly and curious alike, but none are more satisfied than Thor as he watches Loki kiss my cheek softly—making the tinge of color bloom to a full red.

"Come," Loki's hand appears at my waist. "If you've had your fun..."

" _My_ fun?" I smirk. "I think you were the one who cornered me into doing this."

He chuckles. "But I so knew you'd enjoy it—tell me it wasn't pleasantly familiar?"

I raise a brow amusedly. "It was—but," I lower my chin, and raise a hand up to his chin—stepping in his path a bit and glaring up at him with narrowed eyes. Some wicked amusement flashes across his expression as he peers down at me. "You shouldn't start a war that you can't finish."

"And what war is that?" he leans toward me—smiling—without my pulling him. I bend backward instinctively, but my face flushes at the closeness.

"Don't mess with me!" I laugh, letting my voice rise in a carefree tone. This lightness, the easiness between us—better than anything I've ever had. That I can remember, anyway. And I'm pretty sure I'd remember feeling this way.

Loki grabs my wrist. "What shall I do to you then?" he croons.

My jaw drops, and I lay a hand against his chest—pushing him away amusedly and pivoting, smiling brightly as I strut back to the circle ahead of him.

Still sitting across the circle, the brunette eyes me briefly before looking away, and I look over to see my glass of wine still sitting at my chair where I'd left it.

"That was great!" Pepper perks up as I walk over, and sit down beside her.

"Thank you!" I smile at her—genuinely—for the first time in a while. "Guess I can hold my own when I'm pretty drunk too."

"But we knew _that_ ," she says earnestly. Sharing my scintilla of satisfaction as she glances back at the brunette, Pepper raises her glass smugly—and I clink it pointedly in turn, before downing the rest of the contents.

I smile at her. "How're you and Tony doing?"

Pepper nods. "Pretty good, we'll probably head out pretty soon though."

On her lefts, I see Tony taking a sip of beer. "Tony?" he turns to me, and I pause reluctantly—feeling a sudden twinge of guilt. "How've you been?"

He blinks, letting out a breath before pulling the corners of his mouth into a grin. "Doing fine."

"We should... hang out sometime," I look between them, and both hold my gaze intently. I shrug, "You know, if... if that's a thing that's... okay...." my voice trails off awkwardly.

Movement flickers in Tony's nose, and a quick decision flashes across his expression as he turns his head sharply toward the fire. " _Blegh,_ " his face contorts sarcastically, and I burst out laughing.

Tony grins, and Pepper follows suit with a hearty, contagious laugh of her own. And for a moment, time slows as my mind takes in this perfect moment. Everyone's here, and everything's alright—just the way things should be.

After another hour or so, I finally call it a night—though it seems I'm the only one that's ready too. I should've known that when Pepper wanted to head out 'soon,' she meant at least another two hours. Or maybe it was tentative—the more likely explanation, judging by the copious amounts of wine that she and Tony have consumed.

But I can barely keep my eyes open at this point, and although I hadn't planned on a night of camping, Loki's offered me to stay with him in his tent. And I'll be damned if I'm about to turn that down—along with the opportunity to find out what that massive tent looks like on the inside? Definitely.

After saying goodbye to everyone, I saunter toward Loki's tent a short distance away, feeling the chill set in as I stride toward it across the grass. I bend down at the base of the cloth opening, unzipping the tent. Once inside, I pause, raising my brows as I look around at the interior—straight out of Lord of the Rings. Carpeted floors with some soft, fur-like rugs, and a sturdy bed in the middle of the space, with like bedding and two small stands with dimly lit lamps.

" _Damn,_ " I whisper, looking around at it.

It's surprisingly warm, at least. Not as warm as the apartment, but as I glide my hand across the thick blankets, taking into account Loki's furnace-like body heat, I'm sure it'll be fine. I strip the top most layers of the dress, leaving just the thin undergarment that Sif had offered me, and crawl under the blankets—seriously ready to knock out, despite the bustling still going on outside.

I furrow a brow at myself. Seems like I either can't sleep, or can't get enough of it. Tonight's definitely the latter, and I suppose that returning to normalcy these past two weeks or so has also brought me back to my regular sleeping schedule. Which means I'm useless after midnight.

After dimming the lamps entirely, I sit up in the bed for a moment, trailing my eyes over the scene—the massive bed and outside lamps casting glinting shadows against the roof of the tent. And... at some point during the night, Loki will come through the triangular entrance directly ahead of me.

My heart races a bit at the thought, but I burrow deep under the blankets anyway, trying to drown out the sounds, and allowing myself to imagine what it will be like when he lays beside me—how it'll feel to slide my arms across his chest and relax against him...

What feels like a heartbeat clearly lasts a few hours, since the next time I open my eyes, it's entirely dark outside. The sound of the zipper opening raises me from sleep, and my vision slowly adjusts to the darkness as I wake, seeing Loki's form entering the tent. Everything outside is dark, save for the stray rays of moonlight casting some semblance of light against the walls.

I shift lazily against the sheets, running the back of my hand down the pillow, feeling sleep luring me back to sleep, even as the bed shifts under Loki's weight. An arm glides lovingly across my waist, as soft lips press against mine. Loki's weight suddenly pushes me onto my back, and his hand appears on my cheek. The blanket slips off his toned back as I glide my hand up against his skin, pulling him closer to me.

His slow, heavy breath fans my cheeks as his kiss waxes and wanes, slowing and quickening my pulse along with it. It deepens and loosen into gentle, sensual kisses, breaking the stern silence surrounding us and our tent. Until it suddenly stops, and his touch disappears from my damp lips.

I open my eyes, seeing him lean against his elbow to my left, grinning in the darkness as he glides his other fingers against my cheek. His eyes are soft—so soft—and he presses his lips together gently. I scan his handsome features for a moment, feeling utterly content with life... The blankets are halfway off us both, and my dress—being barely knee-high—is pulled up to my hips. And still, the air is warm.

"How was your night?" I whisper soundlessly.

"Less enjoyable, after you were gone," he responds quietly, and warmth seeps into my chest at the unperturbed sincerity in his voice. Gentler and calmer than I've ever heard it, without a trace of his usual wryness or sarcasm.

"You could've come with me."

"Next time, I will," he breathes out, leaning in. Any lingering thoughts flutter out of my mind as his hands glide along my curves, and my eyes slide shut as he kisses my neck.

I let out a heavy sigh, and then press my lips together, pushing him away slightly. "Not the neck," I whisper again, grinning.

He pauses. "Why?"

"Because it's my spot," I say a bit louder, trying to hold back a quiet laugh. "And I'm trying to be quiet."

Loki lets out a low chuckle, reclaiming his position at my neck. "Darling, if you think we're the only ones doing this tonight," he murmurs intermittently against my skin. "You're thoroughly mistaken."

I giggle, my chest burning as his left hand glides up over my skin, his breath pounding against my neck as his kisses deepen. Loki shifts his weight over me, and presses his lips against mine gently, caressing with his tongue as he positions himself between my legs.

His fingers knit in my hair, pulling my face back as his hand returns to my hip. I raise a knee along his side, feeling him slip inside me. I exhale through my nostrils at the initial friction of the thrust—and each subsequent one—squeezing his shoulder with my other hand.

"Relax," he suddenly breathes out.

"What?" I whisper, pausing my movement.

"Relax," he repeats against my lips. "Just... feel me."

I nod, shutting my eyes as I loosen my grip on him. Each passing movement has me realizing the heaviness of our combined bodies against the mattress, and as my mind lets go, waves of pleasureful sensation break out across my skin with every movement. For some time, I simply hold him, moving gently in unison and relishing the closeness, while Loki's every movement caresses me from the inside—sending ripples of dull pleasure through me.

The tension begins to grow, but Loki suddenly stiffens—groaning quietly as he finds his end. He pulls away from my lips for a moment, blinking heavily as he peers down at me, and then resumes his kisses and thrusts. Less fervently than before, but no less effective in bringing me back close to the edge, and sending me over with a gentle burst of pleasure.

Instead of rolling off of me as he usually does, Loki merely shifts to my backside, wrapping an arm around my waist and holding me close to him. I know I'll have to get back up and get dressed to go use a bathroom at some point, but I wait a few minutes for him to fall asleep first. And when I get back, it's just as easy to slip into the comfortable position at his side, where he freely ensconces me with his warmth for the rest of the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry this took me a bit to get out. I had a lot going on this week and I really wanted to get this right, especially the last scene, because it's an important, vulnerable moment for Loki. Vulnerable in different ways than simply talking about his feelings, though.
> 
> There's a small group of you who've given me notes through this whole story, and as we near the end, I just want to say that I really appreciate you guys. It's hard to put your work out for people like this, and having your guys' feedback has been both encouraging and helpful. It's really made my days brighter to look at the notifications on my phone and see a new comment. So thank you for that. :) Truly.
> 
> And yeah. I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I hope the tone came across exactly how I wanted and I hope it made you guys feel happy and warm while reading it, because I really enjoyed writing it. That's all I have for you guys, for now. Til next time. :)


	33. Chapter 33

The roof of our tent is bright the following morning, and the outside world is dead silent. The need for a bathroom rouses me slowly, and I sit up in the bed—shuddering at the brisk air cascading over my exposed skin. Nothing I wasn't expecting, though. It was bound to get colder through the night.

I lean over the side of the bed and take my clothes off the floor, throwing the main part of the dress over my body—leaving the shawl behind—and grabbing my coat. The air outside bites as I step out into the coldness. Judging by the damp ground and the glinting surfaces of the trees and tents, it seems it rained at some point during the night as well.

The clouds haven't abated, so I can't tell exactly what time it is—only that it's seriously cold as hell. The chill penetrates my coat bit by bit, and I tremble slightly as I head toward the bathrooms. I suppose I didn't really need to come out here, I didn't _need_ the bathroom that badly. It was more a matter of habit than anything else.

Still, despite the cold, I'm glad I came out here anyway. The festival is just as beautiful as it was the night before, and the Asgardians managed to keep the area remarkably clean. Not a single stray bottle or plate in sight—save for the myriad of near-empty plates still lining the tables all around us.

A sudden movement catches my attention, and I stop, snapping my head to the right—glaring into the empty space between two tents. The shadow was too big to be an animal, and suspiciously quick. I remain frozen in place, waiting for some other giveaway to jump out from behind the bushes.

No movement, but another quiet sound breaks the silence. A chirp? No... Too quiet to be a chirp.

My eyes widen when I realize what it is—ticking. I stumble back as I gasp, preparing to scream out into the quiet space, but a forceful explosion suddenly sends me flying back onto the ground—rolling into someone's tent.

The burst of noise shatters the tranquility from moments before, but I can barely process anything outside the ringing in my ears. My face feels hot, stinging in several places, and I roll over slowly, barely managing to open my eyes. My vision clears slowly as the smoke abates, and the area is slowly filling in with people who'd been slightly further from the explosion. My eyes snap to some movement down the path, where someone jumps out from behind a tree.

Clad in black clothes and a black face mask, he raises a hand up, addressing all the people who've filled into the area, holding a red flag with three white water droplets—the terrorist group. I watch as he drops it on the ground and bolts in the other direction—disappearing into the fog.

 _Shit,_ I rub my forehead, trying to steady myself. My fingers slide against the dirt as I sit up slowly, registering the multitude of voices crying in a panic, hearing my name being cried out somewhere. I look around the area in a daze, until Loki appears on the path, wearing his pants and loose undershirt—followed by Sif and Thor.

He falls to a knee at my side. "Are you alright!?" he exclaims, tilting my chin and looking me over intently.

I nod. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine," I murmur. "Is everyone else okay?"

"Loki!" Thor interjects before he can answer, and Loki turns and glances over his shoulder as he stands.

He looks back at me, kneeling down and again. "Wait here for me, alright?" he says, laying both hands on either side of my face.

I nod my head briskly, and he presses his lips against my forehead before standing, and walking off briskly in Thor's direction.

***

Hours went by before we finally got to leave. Everyone was either examined or brought to the hospital, and despite the horrific pain and tears all around me, I retained my composure. Loki seemed proud, even happy to have my help after a certain point, but I spent the day wondering what that implied. S.H.I.E.L.D appeared at a certain point as well, and I was entrusted to report to them as well.

All in all—great night, shit day.

Shit couple of days, actually. Even though were were back in our houses, most of us didn't get sleep the following night. Or the night after that.

It's been three days now, and most people are still pretty shaken up. I spent the day visiting the Asgardians with Loki and Thor in their homes—something I'd ordinarily feel honored to participated in, but the circumstances are less than desirable.

Tony and Pepper meet us back at the house some several hours later. We'd been expecting to get some kind of report from them, as they'd promised they'd have for us, and tonight's the night that we're supposed to find out exactly what the city intends to do about all this. In the beginning, they'd effectively handed the situation over to S.H.I.E.L.D, but considering the public nature of this most recent attack, this has undoubtedly become a terrorist issue.

Still, the nauseated look on Tony's face is more than a little disconcerting.

Nestled all around the couches of the living room, the Asgardians and I listen and watch intently as Tony explains his discussions with the mayor and city council.

He fumbles for a moment, looking as unsure of himself as I've ever seen him. "Yeah, bottom line is... They don't want to do anything," he says.

"What?" I furrow a brow. "Well, that can't be what they said to you."

"No, it isn't," he waves a hand at the Asgardians. "What they _actually_ said is that you all have no legal standing in this country—but you do in Norway."

"Norway...?" I interject, looking around at the rest of the group.

Their faces sink—save for Loki, who slides his gaze straight toward me. I hold his eyes for a moment, suddenly realizing the lack of surprise in his expression.

"The negotiations are back on," Tony says, and I look back up at him.

"Wait, what negotiations?"

"When we arrived," Thor interjects. "Our settlement was meant to be temporary, until we found a proper place to live."

I narrow my eyes at him, feeling my temper rise. "But you did find a proper place to live. What've you been doing all this time if not living happily, where you belong?"

"The government doesn't see it that way anymore," Tony says. "It's a shortcut... They want them gone."

They want them gone.

The words pass through my head again and again. I trail my eyes slowly over their faces, one by one—Thor, Heimdall, Sif... Loki.

"Guys," I lift my hands up. "This isn't happening, come on—there's no way this is actually happening."

Silence.

"You guys've got thirty days," Tony murmurs, and I look at him, eyes widening in disbelief.

I stand up from the couch, gesturing to him. "Wait, what the fuck is happening right now?" my voice rises. "You were supposed to figure something out with them! They seriously just want to kick them the hell out for something that wasn't their fault?"

"I did my best, Cerys," Tony retorts sharply. "This wasn't up to me."

"That's not all," Thor says, glancing at his brother. "Our people... They've known for some time. And they've been asking about it, haven't they?" 

I shake my head. "What, are they not happy with New York?"

"It's not that," Thor shakes his head. "They miss home. And in their minds, they will take the closest thing they have. They will not want us to fight this."

"So... Can't you guys stay?" I gesture to them.

"We can't abandon our people," Thor murmurs.

"Cerys," Loki says sternly as I part my lips to respond, peering up at me with a sharpness that boils my blood. "You should sit."

I glare at him as tears slowly line my eyes, wondering whether he knew that this would happen. By the way he blinks softly down at the ground, I'd guess not—I'd guess by the moroseness settling into the group that I'm not the only one taken by surprise.

And now they'll have to settle again.

I sink back slowly onto the couch, still keeping my eyes fixed on Loki, and trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I won't be able to look at him like this much longer.

"Is there anything that can be done?" I glance between him and Tony. "I mean, you guys aren't going to just accept this, are you?"

"Do we have a choice?" Thor asks, looking up at Tony—who spares me a sidelong glance before staring meaningfully at Thor. All the answer any of us needs.

Thor bobs his head as he looks back down at the ground. "Thirty days..." he mumbles.

Thirty days.

I shake my head. "No," I murmur as I stand, and bolt off to the hallway, toward my room.

Loki follows me a moment later, shutting the door behind him as he pivots toward me slowly.   
  
"You're going to go with them, aren't you?" I say, trying to steady my voice.

He lowers his gaze to the ground slowly. "I don't know."

I press my lips together firmly, demanding he say something more than that. With my hands balled into fists, it takes a grandiose effort to keep my limbs from trembling.

Tension flickers in his brow when he looks up and meets my eyes—saying nothing.

" _Ugh!"_ the frustration explodes from me. "Do you seriously not have anything to say to me right now!?"

His expression hardens a bit as his lips thin into a straight line. He shakes his head, "I don't know yet. If they want us all to leave, I... I don't know that I can stay. I don't know that I can stay here with you."

"Well you'll _try_ , right!?" I step toward him. "You'll _try,_ won't you?"

"Of course I will," he lowers his chin, and I furrow a brow at the obvious hesitation—the painfully obvious appeasement in his voice. He doesn't believe what he's saying to me. "Of course I will."

I remain frozen in place as he trails toward me slowly, raising his arms and pulling me close to him. The tears roll forward slowly as I sink against him, raising my hands slowly up against his chest. His chin presses against the crook of my neck as he curls his arms around me, squeezing every last drop out of my eyes. And I cry—cry at the thought of leaving this apartment, at the thought of saying goodbye.

Thirty days... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( I felt so sad writing this chapter. Sorry it's a bit shorter than usual, but I'm starting the next one right now, so it will probably be up tomorrow or the day after (if not tonight). So, yeah. There's not much else I have to say about what's going on right now, just that I'm sad. 
> 
> Til next time. :(


	34. Chapter 34

Like most people, I've so had many moments in life where I just had nothing to say to the situation at hand. Often times, in those moments, there also isn't much that can be said to me that make things better.

I guess this was meant to be one of those times.

Maybe this would've been easier if Loki hadn't have promised to try and work something out, or maybe it would've made things worse. But now that we're here, I can't think of a single thing retroactively that might've made any of this easier—namely being here, at the airport. Bags packed, and proper wording for meaningful goodbyes being tossed around silently in everyone's minds.

Loki hasn't said a word since we got here, and really, neither of us has made an effort to talk about it in the last couple of days.

I hadn't even called him my boyfriend up to this point, though it never really seemed necessary—we both knew what we were to each other. The first step was friendship, and a warm camaraderie after that. Next came something... more. And as swiftly as this all began, the ending is just as bittersweet—if that's really what this is.

Every step away from the car and toward the security check coils my chest tighter and tighter, especially with Loki's continued silence as he walks alongside me the entire way. I'd spent so much time preparing myself for this, kept the possibility of it in the back of my mind this past month, but none of it amounted up to easement in the moment of reckoning.

Norway... Halfway across the world, for some indefinite amount of time.

Loki barely ever learned to use a phone, much less a computer, or anything else. And my attempts to get him accustomed to it these past thirty days were met with irritability—as though I was continuously reminding him of our impending parting.

I suppose the same thoughts crossed my mind as well—even if he learned, what difference would it make if we could never see each other?

His fingers brush against mine as he strides forward, and I unfurl my finger to take his hand without hesitation—though he doesn't return the steady grip. We fall to the back of the group slowly at our own pace, further and further behind until it's just the two of us.

"Are you alright?" he murmurs monotonously.

I shake my head. "No."

He pauses for a moment, turning his gaze back down to the ground. I swallow hard, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "We'll find a way to keep in touch—all of us. Life is short, we can't just... let things go, you know?" I ramble, feeling a lump growing in my throat.

He pauses. " _Your life is short_."

I blink, wondering if I'd just heard what I thought I heard, and turn my head toward him. "W—what was that?"

He remains staring forward, eyes narrowed into two thin slits. "Your life is short, Cerys, mine isn't," he says darkly. Slowly, he comes to a stop some ways away from the security check—too far from anyone in the group to hear us. "You should try to enjoy the time you have, while you have it."

"Wait," I pause, shaking my head. "I don't understand what you're saying—you're moving across the world, you're not dying."

"No, but you are."

My face contorts angrily. "Excuse me?"

His expression sinks a bit, but resolve rises in its stead, hardening behind its eyes. "I'm immortal, Cerys," he says in a low voice. "You're not. This is likely for the best."

I raising a hand to grasp his shoulder, and furrow a brow as he recoils slightly—keeping a stern look on his face. Slowly, he slides his gaze down to the ground, knitting his brows together hurtfully as he steps away. Something tears its way outward from my chest, and I clench my teeth together as I look up at him.

"What are—why are you saying all this to me?"

I reach out again, and he pulls his arm back. My shoulders sink, and I lower my head down to the ground slowly. I nod, pressing my lips together as I look back up at him.

" _Okay,_ " I whisper, wiping a tear off my cheek briskly. "This is how you want to leave things with me?"

His eyes dart back up to me darkly. "The situation has changed, Cerys," he murmurs. "We must change with it."

I eye him for a moment, pressing my lips together with reproach. "I see," I whisper, bobbing my head slightly. "Well if you don't want to hug me or kiss me before you leave... then I guess it was good knowing you, Loki," I mutter bitterly, looking over his angular profile once more, sliding my eyes across his skin. He stares at the ground as I continue, "I'm going to miss you so much."

He blinks heavily, and when he opens his eyes, his tilted face hardens with an even colder distance splayed across his expression. "I will miss you too," he says flatly, swallowing hard despite the stiffness in his eyes. "And even from afar, I will always care for you."

I furrow a brow at the sharp disconnect between his words and his tone—even more so as he steps forward, laying a hand lightly on my shoulder, and leaning in to plant a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Goodbye, Cerys," he mutters against my skin.

My breath hitches in my throat as he turns abruptly and walks away, his wheeled suitcase rolling behind him. Hot, confused, and angry tears spill over onto my cheeks.

Ironic that I haven't watched him walk away from me like this since we first met—when he couldn't stand being near me. With my arms hanging limply at my side, I shuffle my feet toward the rest of the group, finishing up their goodbyes.

"Cerys," Thor mumbles lowly, stepping forward and wrapping me in a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"No," I shake my head as I pull away, forcing a bit of a grin. "There's nothing to apologize for. You guys," I pause, steadying my shaking voice as I try to muster up my words. "No matter what the fucking government or anyone says, you made our lives better by being here. New York was better for it, and there'll always be a piece of home here for you. And... even if you're not around anymore, I'll always love you guys so much."

I could swear I see a glint in Sif's eye as she steps in for a hug, and Heimdall barely spares a sad grin as he does the same. "We will surely see each other again," he says kindly over my shoulder.

"Yeah," my voice comes out as a whimper as I look across the room at Loki. Movement flickers in his jaw as he turns and meets my eyes for a moment, and Pepper wraps an arm around my shoulder as I step back, squeezing it tightly. "See you guys around."

One by one, we watch them turn and leave.

Sparing me a final glance over his shoulder, Loki and the others disappear around the corner.

***

"This is so shitty..." I mumble, letting the steam from my coffee travel up and brush my lips gently.

Hours later, and my eyes are still raw—watering easily as I look out at the glinting lights outside Stark tower, with Pepper and Tony occupying the couch next to me.

"I'm sorry, Cer," Pepper says, turning her head toward me. "But maybe it's for the best, you know?"

"Maybe," I pause, consider what Loki had said at the airport—it was the first time I'd really even thought about mortality and immortality. "And maybe A.I.M was onto something..."

"What?" Tony murmurs absently, leaning forward on the couch and turning his head toward me.

I look over at them both, noting their disconcerted expressions. "Oh, I didn't tell you, did I?" I drawl monotonously.

"Tell us what?" Pepper asks.

I sigh. "Yeah, A.I.M approached me a while ago on the street. Didn't try anything, they just made me an offer to... you know, 'join the dark side.' Talked about corrupt governments and whatnot, how they're out to take em down and remake them..."

Pepper's hair flutters lightly as she turns her head, glances between us. "Wait, this is..." Tony pauses. "You're saying you were offered a direct line straight into A.I.M's operations?"

"Yeah, I didn't accept it or anything, though," I say.

Pepper blinks down at the ground and turns, laying a hand on his knee as she shakes her head.

"We don't have to talk about it right now, and we probably shouldn't," she says, looking back at me. "World's always been this way and it probably will be for a long, long time. A.I.M's just another power hungry tyrant waiting to happen though, you know?" I look up at at her, and she shrugs.

"Well, whatever... doesn't matter now, anyway. And I should probably go home," I say, setting the cup down on the coffee table as I stand.

"You know," Tony says, and I look back at him. "You can stay in that apartment if you want, just find a couple of roommates to keep you company... I bought the place, so you can be the landlord if you want."

He glances reluctantly at Pepper, his nose crinkling as though he knows he's about to say something upsetting. "And look, I know Pepper wants to let this go for now," he says, standing up. "But I just want to leave you with some food for thought, okay? You can keep doing your thing with the Academy if you want, but we can train and get you on S.H.I.E.L.D's payroll too. Just think about it, okay? I know this is a hard time, but might as well put some of that energy to use. Or you know, just something to keep you busy."

I shrug. "I mean, I think I'd keep busy with land lording and my new job, but..." I pause, as he stares straight at me. "Yeah, I'll think about it."

Pepper sighs heavily, rising up from the sofa. "Come on, I'll walk you down."

After saying goodbye to Tony, Pepper leads me over to the elevator and down we go—down to the familiar black SUV that'd been full of people hours ago. Something sinks in my chest as the driver opens the door, revealing the empty cabin.

"Do you want me to come spend the night?" Pepper asks, and I shake my head.

"No it's fine, I'll be okay... Maybe tomorrow, though?"

"Sure," she says, leaning in for a hug.

"Thanks," I mumble over her shoulder, squeezing her real tight.

"Yeah, of course."

I pull away, and step back toward the car.

Although they'd moved their entire lives out, the apartment and its furnishings are completely untouched. Save for the lack of talking, the lack of laughter, and all other signs of life, it all looks the same. Only darker and emptier—piercingly silent.

I stride across the living room, looking down at the couches and swallowing hard at the memory of us sitting here together. The bathroom, too—Loki's confrontation on my first night here. Even when he was trying to be domineering, there was just something about him that was more amusing than anything else.

I wipe a tear off my cheek as I stare ahead at my door, but my legs guide me straight toward Loki's instead.

The hallway is dark, but I know exactly where it is.

I push on the wood of the door slowly, and it creaks as it opens.

My chest tightens painfully as I look about the room—he left it exactly the way it was before. Only, the closet is empty now, and a few of the things he'd accumulated on his desk over time are gone. The bed, the dresser, the desk... It's almost like no one was ever here. Loki and the others moved in with everything they had when they first came to Earth, which was nothing. And despite that fact, it manages to feel emptier without them.

I glance at his nightstand for a moment, and shift suddenly back toward my room, to return with something from my bedside table. My feet shuffle across the small rug as I open the lid of the small, silver-green music box that Loki had given me for Christmas.

Slowly, I twist the little knob on the side of the trinket, allowing the little figurine to spin—her hands up in the air, in a dancing position.

It clanks heavily against the wooden nightstand as I set it down, and roll onto Loki's bed. The moment I register the smell of his cologne, I turn onto my side, sinking deeper into the sheets as tears begin streaming silently, and the melody plays on in the moonlit darkness.

I guess this is goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Deep sigh*
> 
> Well, I don't know if it came across in the writing, but I cried when I wrote this chapter. Once when I was in Loki's head, shoving away the part of him that wanted to lose his shit in the middle of the airport, once when Cerys was saying goodbye to the Asgardians, and once in Cerys' head when the music box started playing. I guess I won't say much else about what was going through their heads in this scene, because I really want you guys to have your own conceptions of it. 
> 
> So I'll tell you about the sequel instead. I set this story up to be continued, so I'm not just going to drop it and disappear. You guys've been the most faithful readers, amazing, loyal commenters, and I personally hate when a story gets started and then abruptly dropped, so I'm not going to do that to you (of course, I'm assuming you guys want the sequel lol). When I start on a project like this, I commit to posting once a week at least, sometimes more, so I'm going to give myself this week and next week to contemplate it, and I'll post the first chapter next weekend (I'm going out of town this weekend). It'll be entitled "The Siren's Mark," and you guys can either follow my profile to get the update, or just check back here then. 
> 
> In it, about a year and a half later, Loki returns to New York unexpectedly with Thor. Cerys has new, hilariously girly grad school roommates and is seeing a great new guy, and doesn't want to see him.
> 
> So yeah, I typed a bunch of other specifics just now and then deleted them lol, but that's the big picture of what I see in the next book. :) I also wanted to throw in here that if you guys like my writing and my ideas, and get bored on the toilet one night or bored waiting for other fics to update, maybe check out another project I just started! It's a different universe (Witcher), but if you give the first chapter a shot, I'm sure you'll see that you don't have any prior knowledge of the universe to follow the story. You can go into it like an ordinary book--written by me! It's called "The Lost Descendant," and it's basically about a man who's been searching for the lost descendant of a magical bloodline, and when he finds her, he takes her back to his king so they can use her magic to stop the apocalypse. Sounds serious, but the slow burn concepts will have a lot of fun and humor and lightness to them like they did in this book, only they'll be taking place in a forbidden elven palace setting, lol.
> 
> So yeah, that's all for now, my darlings. Thank you all so much for making this an amazing experience. I love writing with every ounce of my entire being, a writer is who I am and I'll never be able to let it go. And I don't really have anyone in my life to talk about my writing with, so having you guys around to interact with about it means more to me than I'll ever be able to describe. Thank you so, so much. 
> 
> Til next time. :)


	35. Chapter 35

Hey everybody, just posting this surprise chapter to let you all know that I started The Siren's Mark early, and the first chapter is now published! :D It'll be on my profile of course, so check it out if you'd like! See you all very, very soon!


End file.
